Importance  of Walking

     Walking can add minutes to your life.
      This enables you at 85 years old
     to spend an  additional 5 months in a nursing
     home at $7000 per  month.

      My grandpa started walking
      five miles  a day when he was 60.
      Now he's 97 years  old
      and we don't know where he  is.
      
      I like long walks,
      especially when  they are taken
      by people who annoy  me.
      
      The only reason I would take up walking
      is so  that I could hear heavy breathing again.
      
       I have to walk early in the morning,
      before  my brain figures out what I'm  doing.
      
      I joined a health club last year,
      spent about 400  bucks.
      Haven't lost a pound.
       Apparently you have to go there.
     
      Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
       I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
      
      I do have flabby thighs,
      but  fortunately my stomach covers them.

      The advantage of exercising every day
      is so  when you die, they'll say,
      'Well, (s)he looks good  doesn't (s)he.'
      
      If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
       start with a small country.
      
      I know I got a lot of exercise
      the  last few years
      just getting over the  hill.
   
     We all get heavier as we get  older
      because there's a lot more  information stored in our heads.
      That's my story and  I'm sticking to it.
      
      AND

      Every time I start thinking too much
       about how I look,
      I just find a Happy Hour
       and by the time I leave,
      I look just  fine.