(This post is excerpted from The Consultative Real Estate Agent by Kelle Sparta)
Chapter 2
Problem-Solving Emotional Issues
Death, divorce, and moving are the most stressful times in a person's life. In real estate, we are always dealing with at least one of these issues, if not two. We never know what will be waiting for us on the other end of the line when we pick up the phone, so we need to know how to deal with anything that arises. When we know how to handle a situation, then our stress levels go down significantly. There are several steps inherent in dealing with any emotionally-based problem....
Step #6 - Patiently Sitting In Silence
When a client is trying to figure out what his actual issue is, we need to give him the space to do that. If he is being irrational, then we need to point out the places where he is being irrational and then ask him to resolve his concerns into something coherent. Obviously, how we present this to the client is critically important. If we confront him using an aggressive tone, then we have basically guaranteed that we will be on opposite sides of this discussion. If, instead, we approach it with a compassionate tone explaining that we are trying to understand the issues, but he is contradicting himself and we need clarification, then we can get a better, more positive response.
As a general rule, we need to meet the client's remarks with a quiet resolve. We need to stay grounded, meaning that we don't want to escalate the conversation by being loud or aggressive in our tone. In our minds we picture every comment that is angrily thrown in our direction hitting a force field in front of us and sliding down to the floor before it ever hits us. Above all we need to remember that none of this has anything to do with us. Any comments that are made or fingers that are pointed in our direction have nothing to do with us. They are simply the client trying to find an outlet for his fear.
And when there is nothing more to say, no more roads to go down, we should be silent. There has been a lot of energy thrown around the room. It needs time to settle before we can be calm again. We must be patient. The silence gives time for reflection, and puts distance between the comments made and the present moment.
When all else fails, we call a break. We suggest that each party takes the rest of the day to think about things. We sleep on it. The next day, when tempers have cooled and reason has set in, it is often easier to get through to the other side.
For the rest of the story, you can get my book The Consultative Real Estate Agent: Building Relationahips that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals and Increase Your Sales.
Do you want more information on how to coach your clients through the sales process? Sign up for my FREE 10-Part Audio training program.
Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry. Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides tools, products, and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love. For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2008, Kelle Sparta.
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