And that is when the fight started....
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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive....so, I took her to a gas station.....
And that
is when the fight started....
************************************************** *******
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her
the
beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And that's when the fight started.
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's
license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had
left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would
have to
go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.
So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, That
silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my
Social Security application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too'
And thats when the fight started.....
**************************************************
*********************
My husband and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and
I kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a
nearby table.
My husband asked, "Do you know him?"
"Yes," I sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says my husband, "Who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And thats when the fight started....
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car.
You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny?
Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And thats when the fight started.
************************************************* ********
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order
first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's how the fight started.....
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