I know - I haven't posted in a couple of weeks .... we've been quite busy funding loans since our bottom of the barrel "competition" bailed out and left all you serious real estate professionals holding worthless mortgage approvals. But here is something I found interesting while browsing some online ads mostly from FSBO's and thinking about what I was actually reading.
It's a list of words in REAL ESTATE ads on a popular list site. Some of them are interesting but none of them are as interesting as what the seller may really have meant, or what my off-center mind wondered if they meant, when they chose the words for the title:
Like New...Move In Ready
Home With Acreage
HUGE Backyard
Priced WAY BELOW MARKET
100% financing available
LAST CHANCE!!! ROCK BOTTOM PRICE !!
Don't Miss This Rare Find
SALES PRICE DROPPED!! GREAT LAKE PROPERTY
quiet street + equity
"Spacious Family Home"
Only 6 Months Old & Perfect Throughout!
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
DIVORCED COUPLE NEED TO SELL
MOTIVATED SELLER WITH PROPERTY IN PRIME LOCATION
Okay - so those are excerpts from the ad titles but is this what they really meant to say?
Like New...Move In Ready - it almost burned to the ground and it rained inside for about 3 months but we finally got the sheetrock back on the walls and the electrical inspection. The darker colored paint covers the smoke and water damage very nicely.
Home With Acreage - right between a pig farm and a chicken farm. You'll need a four wheeler to get in and out of the driveway but once you pass the old falling down barn it's all downhill from there.
HUGE Backyard - nothing between you and the Federal Prison over 1000 yards away! Great open fields to play in until dark when they let the dogs out. You can actually make a few bucks charging families for parking on visitation day which is Sunday.
Priced WAY BELOW MARKET - We realy feel like the market should make this a half-million dollar home but it doesn't so we priced it lower than what we really believe it should sell for and you can get it for only $150,000.
100% financing available - like every other home in the nation. We just couldn't think of anything more catchy to say about this dump.
LAST CHANCE!!! ROCK BOTTOM PRICE !! This home has been on the market for 5 years and if you don't buy it now I think it will be struck by lightning where I left my lawnmower and gas can inside and burn to the ground sometime after this weekend. Please please PLEASE buy this money trap!
quiet street + equity - all of the rest of the homes are vacant, condemned or foreclosed so we're pretty much ready to give this one away. Make me an offer and it's yours!
Only 6 Months Old & Perfect Throughout! To the left is the concrete plant and in the back yard is the end of the airport runway but the house is perfect!
LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION - you'll want to get a running start coming out of the driveway because it empties right onto the interstate. You can be to the police station, prison, or county dump in less than 30 seconds walking from your front door!
DIVORCED COUPLE NEED TO SELL - we may have had a few spats in some of the rooms but the sheetrock damage and broken glass is easy to repair. There is a small amount of smoke damage from the x's cooking habit and there may still be some grease on one of the bathtubs from where I regularly serviced my motorcycles but some ZippyClean should take care of that.
MOTIVATED SELLER WITH PROPERTY IN PRIME LOCATION - House is built on the very edge of a deep ravine! Great veiw when it rains you can watch the trees and neighborhood homes slide in a beautiful gushing river hundreds of feet below.
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