AR JOKESTER: Divorce Barbie

There you go...sent.  Enjoy!

My pleasure Mirela.  Sounds like it's going to be an interesting blog.

Scott

Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.

You can also look for:

Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.

Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.

Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror.

Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too-muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.

Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.

Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."

Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.

 

While I can't take credit for all of the above post, I would be happy to help you write a blog.  However, I am not interested in posting it myself - there's just something a bit creepy about a 38-year-old man writing about Barbies in his blog.  Maybe I will do a "Ken" blog and link it to yours...

"Metro" Ken - Comes with a man-bag ("Murse") containing skin moisturizers, hand cream, hair gel, and back-wax.  "Limited Edition" version has a certificate for a petticure and spa treatment.

Scott

Life was so much simpler when there was only one Barbie!  lol   Those post boomers will exploit anything.  I love the "divorce Barbie," however; it certainly gets right to the point!

Very funny, and so true. It's good to be divorce barbie lol.  

Mirela, This was truly funny.  Just what I needed to get me over the hump.....day.

I keep coming back to this blog whenever I need a good laugh...I also found a couple more Barbie pictures...here is one, and I have e-mailed you a couple that I will not post (but found funny)...

LOL If you really want to, I'm game...it wouldn't take me long to come up with a Ken one...pictures might be harder to find though...

Well, I am almost done my blog...just fine tuning (in fact, doing my spell check, I realized that I spelled "pedicure" wrong in my above comment.  Ah, well...

Heres what I have so far (descriptions left out to maintain the "shock" factor):

• "Biker" Ken® 
• "Metro" Ken®
• "Alternative Lifestyle" Ken®
• "Homeboy" Ken®
• "Transgender" Ken®, er, Barbie®, er, Ken® (Who knows?)
• "Gangsta" Ken®
• "Pimpin'" Ken®
• "White Trash" Ken®
• "Married Life" Ken®
• "Aussie" Ken®
• "Crash-Test" Ken®
• "Ripped-Off-In-The-Divorce-Settlement" Ken
• "Twelve-Step" Ken
• "Hacker" Ken® (Formerly "Web Site Designer" Ken®)
• "Mid-Life Crisis" Ken®
• "Internet Porn Addiction" Ken®
• "Catholic" Ken®
• "Blue Collar" Ken
• "Steroid" Ken®
• "Workaholic" Ken®

I am thinking of droppng a couple of these, as the blog got longer the more I laughed.  Do you want to exchange notes before I post?  If we are going to be "linked", they should look somewhat similar...

Gee - good question.  I guess I will e-mail you everything but the descriptions... I am not very good at formatting, so my pictures will just be inserted in line with the text.  If my blog fits what you were going to do, I will post it, and will link to yours after you post.  Actually, since it was your idea, you should post first, and tell me where it is posted so that I can post to the same sites.  We should also link them in title (I never even thought of a title - I was following your lead).

I just e-mailed it...I left the description on a couple that I want your opinion about...you'll see why...

Scott