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Dealing with Negative Situations................... Part 2 -- Negative People

By
Mortgage and Lending with Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc

germs

Negative people can tend to be like germs. They can eat away at you, make you sick, bring you down, and have an impact on your business and personal life. About a week ago, I wrote Part 1 -- "You have been fired"................... Part 1 -- Negative People  

Trust me, I hate talking about negative things just for the main reason that I don't want to sound negative. But it's always good to talk about things, good or bad. One source of therapy is to talk about it, confide in a friend or colleague, or... yes, seek help if there is major depression involved. But I don't want to talk about the 3rd part, but to dwell on the positives of getting through that bad day or week.

The brain is such an intriguing part of who we are and how we operate. There have been many studies telling us that our brain helps stimulate our different personalities. These results show that emotion plays a large role in this and that we tend to use experiences in life that trigger different reactions to such problems and or issues. And usually when negativity occurs, we can be defensive because of this. It's just a normal function.

After doing some reading and research, there are two types of negative people.

  1. The Obviously negative person : This person whines and complains about everything. It's easy to cope with  this person because you can see them coming and that you can turn them off anytime that you want.
  2. The Insidiously negative person : This person can be more dangerous and can be recognized once you know what to look for. Here are a few so-called symptoms :
  • Their general demeanor : Do they lack enthusiasm? Are they moody? Is everything an inconvenience to them?
  • What do they talk about : Is it always something about them? Is it usually bad?
  • How do they see the world : Do they criticize things, people, question good news stories? Do they talk about "successful" people in a negative manner often?
  • How do they treat you? Are they critical or patronizing? Do you feel like you have to apologize for something whenever you're with them?

                 The information for these two types of people were gathered from : How To Deal With Negative People -- Part 1 - Motivational Articles

smiling  

So, why do I bring this up? The type of business that we are a part of, real estate, can become very draining and emotional. Why? Because buying or selling a house from the consumers side is a very emotional process.

I wrote this about a month ago :As PROFESSIONALS, we need to RAISE the bar & educate consumers......... With so many people on the sales side, not knowing what they are doing, they will talk negative about others in our specific fields. Some are struggling with business now. We need to know how to handle this professionally. How to think what to say, because it can happen to us.

Here is a great example of what just happened recently to Phillip Turner : BEST ONE YET

Overall???  Keep smiling, smile from within, don't let things get to you so easily. Sure, easier said then done. But you need to be stronger than ever now than before.  Understanding what makes you tick, act, and overreacting are things that you need to be aware of. People can hear your mood over the phone more than you think that one can. And we know they can see it easier than you think when face to face. 

Here are a few great articles to learn more about how to stay ahead and to keep positive :

How to Stay Motivated Despite Negative People

Creating Passionate Users: Angry/negative people can be bad for ...

The human brain has a natural negative bias.

 

Here is Part 1 : "You have been fired"................... Part 1 -- Negative People

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Copyright © 2011 by Jeff Belonger of Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc

Comments (19)

Jason Sardi
Auto & Home & Life Insurance throughout North Carolina - Charlotte, NC
Your Agent for Life
So very well written Jeff!  All I have to say is a simple and un-profound..."WOW."  I guess I too believe a large part of what we do in a professional network or work-place is inspire those around us.  After all, if it were that easy, wouldn't everyone be doing it?  Well, a lot were, and those times may, if not already have, be changing.  Again, great post Jeff...you sold me at line one.
Apr 03, 2007 02:03 PM
Thesa Chambers
West + Main - Bend, OR
Principal Broker - Licensed in Oregon
Let me be the first to say - GREAT JOB - keep up the positive attitude and thanks for always contributing in a positive manner.
Apr 03, 2007 02:03 PM
Thesa Chambers
West + Main - Bend, OR
Principal Broker - Licensed in Oregon
dang it jason hit enter faster than I did so I guess I was second and possibly 3rd
Apr 03, 2007 02:05 PM
Kay Van Kampen
RE/MAX Broker, RE/MAX - Springfield, MO
RealtorĀ®, Springfield Mo Real Estate
Jeff, I can not operate around a negative person or office atmosphere.  I always try to be upbeat and happy in front of others - encouraging and commending others is easy when you are a happy person yourself.  Great post! 
Apr 03, 2007 02:07 PM
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans

Jason.... thanks a lot for those cheerful compliments & comments. I agree, great point. Being positive also affects others around us, just as those negative people can bring us down.  thanks for your input...

Thesa.... & Thesa again..... thanks for the polite compliment. Sorry that you came in 2nd... ;o)  But if you turn your computer screen upside down after you had hit submit, then you would be first. 

Kay.....  same here. I actually left an office back in October and about 50% of the reason was because of the negative people. I was actually running a division within our office and asked the owner to move me, change my office to a single office. I had one gentleman in my office that was not on my team, who was negative all of the time. I then lost an employee because of this. 

2nd...  you hit the nail on the head, stating that encouraging and commending others are easy when you are happy. I also believe that it's a good tactic by a manager to do this, not always, but at least some times. I had a manager that appreciated me, I knew this, but he never said it. Only negative things. I guess some people can make themselves feel better when they put others down.   thanks for your feedback. 

Apr 03, 2007 02:18 PM
Laura Monroe
Inman News - San Francisco, CA
Dir. of Industry Engagement & Social Media
Jeff~ I feel the same way! I have no time for negativity in my life...it's just too short!
Apr 03, 2007 03:11 PM
Thesa Chambers
West + Main - Bend, OR
Principal Broker - Licensed in Oregon
this is one place I do not mind being second - as long as I am always number one for my client :o)
Apr 03, 2007 03:18 PM
Heather Saul
Weichert Realtors Hoey Group - Wildwood, NJ
Hi Jeff....   I think every office has that one person who goes out of their way to cause problems and aggravate others and it's best to come up with ways to either avoid them or deal with them.  If you become part of their negativity or take it to heart, it will eat you up.  Good post.  Stay positive!
Apr 03, 2007 03:26 PM
Marcyne Touchton
Domaine Staging - Charlotte, NC

Hi Jeff,

You make me realize that there are nice upbeat Realtors out there. I've dealt with a few who are just plain, RUDE.  I don't think they want to be nor do they realize they are.  I think the business has driven them to forget the basics of being polite and positive. 

Sometimes when I work with a homeowner to stage their home, I extend a courtesy copy of all that has been done and needs to be done to sell their home in the shortest amount of time.  I also send the Realtors, all my pictures to be used for the MLS.  A stager really is a Realtor's best friend, but I don't think everyone really gets that.  It really is amazing how they always forget to extend a courtesy to say "hey I got it" or "thanks."  How much time will it take to hit reply with "got it."  For all the Realtors reading this, please never be too busy to BE courteous, and stay positive!  I never had a chance to read "Secrets" but basically the concept I hear is send out POSITIVE THOUGHTS/ENERGY and receive back POSITIVE THOUGHTS/ENERGY.

Apr 03, 2007 04:16 PM
Fran Gatti
RE/MAX Integrity - Medford, OR
Managing Principal Broker - RE/MAX Integrity

Jeff,

Thanks for the time you gave to this postive post.  You have a very good outlook and a positive effect on AR.

Fran

Apr 03, 2007 05:07 PM
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans

Laura........  extremely too short. what does the little smiley face have to the side of him?  thanks

Thesa..... excellent point. thanks for mentioning that.

Heather.... yes, I would have to assume many offices have at least one person, unless your office is small. Thanks for the compliment.

Marcyne.....  yes, being just flat out rude, you wonder where that gets them, you, and your clients. Some people need to put their egos aside.  Your statement is so correct and right on.

In regards to your 2nd paragraph.... that is very wise of you. So many people would say otherwise, about your performance, if something wasn't right...if they didn't have that paper in front of them. And yes, in regards to the courtesy, that does get to me also, when you have to chase someone down.  Thanks for your comments and feedback, I truly appreciate it. 

Fran.....  thanks for those polite comments. And I will be calling you tomorrow, in regards to our previous e-mails and discussion. Again, thanks, that was very sweet. 

Apr 03, 2007 05:18 PM
Fran White
North Kansas City Real Estate, Reece and Nichols Residential - Kansas City North, MO
Kansas City North Real Estate, 816-682-3897

Jeff..... here's a great website that can help some deal with stress

http://stress.about.com/od/optimismspirituality/a/attraction21807.htm

Apr 03, 2007 11:50 PM
Laura Monroe
Inman News - San Francisco, CA
Dir. of Industry Engagement & Social Media

"Laura........  extremely too short. what does the little smiley face have to the side of him?  thanks"

A bouquet of flowers...just for you!

Apr 04, 2007 05:51 AM
Alexander Harb
Knights Investing - Mesquite, TX
Dallas, Texas Real Estate Investing

To speak positively is NOT fantasizing...... it is choosing to look at the positive things in life as opposed to the negative....

Great post, Jeff.... =-)

Apr 04, 2007 12:12 PM
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans

Fran....  thanks for the link. I'll check it out.

Laura.... aahhh.... my first thing of flowers. Thanks... 

Alex.... thanks for your input and for the polite compliment. 

Apr 04, 2007 02:58 PM
Alexander Harb
Knights Investing - Mesquite, TX
Dallas, Texas Real Estate Investing

Am I too formal.......?

Do I need to lighten up, Jeff??

hehehehehe......

Just kiddin around..... =-D

Apr 04, 2007 03:04 PM
Eddy Martinez
Nationwide Funding Group - Highland Park, CA

Especially with the current climate on the financing side of real estate people are being alot more negative/pessimistic. You see that alot on this website.

Eddy

Apr 04, 2007 03:05 PM
Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

Love it!  Negativity does rub off....it's like the plague if you hang around it!  Had this one agent who always came in the office and started gossiping...I finally had enough and told her I don't want to hear it as it is affecting me and my work in the office!  She didn't talk to me again.....and when she came in she would try and coerce others to follow her to the back so she could spread her bad cheer.....well, she left a long time ago....and has been to three more agencies after that!

Like your writing....go back to Steve's....I put up pictures....HA!

Apr 07, 2007 07:16 AM
Carrie Ann Higgs
Branson House Realty - Branson, MO
Your Key To The Ozarks
Thanks for your encouraging words, my team was fired today by a client. I'm wanting to blog about it, but wonder if I really should.
Oct 27, 2007 02:22 PM