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Stop...some things must be shared.....Read it and weep

By
Real Estate Agent with Century 21 Redwood DC-SP98366576

So, in a time when heros seem to fail and we don't know where to turn for example, this story stopped me in my tracks. I would hope that anyone that reads this, shares it with another and and another. This is the best of us.

Father Who Saved Son Is Remembered For Generosity

By Jonathan Mummolo Washington Post Staff Writer 

Thomas S. Vander Woude would never have wanted a big display in his honor. The Nokesville father of seven sons, who drowned last week while rescuing his disabled son when he fell into the family's septic tank, was more the type to try to elevate the lives of those around him, his family members and friends said. 

But yesterday, more than 2,000 people packed the pews at Holy Trinity Catholic Church for his funeral Mass in Gainesville, some listening from the vestibule, others down a hallway watching on closed-circuit television. Among the attendees were his wife of 43 years, Mary Ellen, more than 70 priests, including the bishop of Arlington, and the friends accrued over decades who came to pay respects to a man who inspired them, right up until his final breath.

If Vander Woude saw the throng, he'd say, "Are you kidding me? . . . Don't waste your gas," said one of his sons, Steve Vander Woude of Nokesville, after the service. But "this guy did something saintly, and they wanted to come be a part of it." 

Thomas S. Vander Woude, 66, died last week while helping his son Joseph, who has Down syndrome, after he fell into a septic tank while working in the yard, police said.

The tank was eight to 10 feet deep, Steve Vander Woude said. His father climbed into the 2-by-2-foot opening, managed to get under Joseph and was pushing him upward to keep his head above the sewage. Initially, Vander Woude was able to keep his own head above the muck, telling a workman who was helping from above, "You pull, I'll push," Steve Vander Woude said. But he eventually sank and was later pulled out by rescue workers, who were unable to revive him, Prince William County police said.

Joseph, 20, was hospitalized last week with pneumonia but was released Saturday and attended the Mass for his father in a wheelchair, connected to an oxygen tank. His family said doctors expect a full recovery. A few days after his father's death, Joseph's family sat with him in the hospital and explained to him that his father had died.

Upon hearing the news, Joseph "sat back . . . he closed his eyes, his chin quivered, and he started crying," Steve Vander Woude said. "I think he understands as much as he can right now."

Another of Thomas S. Vander Woude's sons, Tom Vander Woude, pastor at Queen of Apostles Catholic Church in Alexandria, gave the homily. In it, he likened his father to Saint Joseph, a man who patiently and quietly supported his family, did odd jobs for those in need and was content to worship God and not seek the limelight, Tom Vander Woude said.

At a reception at Seton School in Manassas, where six of Thomas S. Vander Woude's sons went to school, friends and neighbors traded stories about how Vander Woude had gone out of his way to help them. Fittingly, Tom Vander Woude observed, they were standing on the gym floor that his father had installed.

Mary Heisler, 36, of Nokesville, said she never would have come to Virginia as a teenager, let alone met her future husband, if it had not been for Vander Woude. She was receiving Catholic home schooling in Texas when Vander Woude, who was helping with the home-schooling program at Seton, contacted her father and persuaded him to move 14-year-old Mary and her 11 siblings to Virginia to attend the school.

Her father obliged, sold the house, bought a yellow school bus and drove his family to Prince William County. Money was tight, so Vander Woude took the family into his home for a month before lending them money for a down payment on a house of their own in Manassas, Heisler said.

"He gave us half the home," said Heisler, who met her husband, Tim, at Seton. "I don't think he realized how many people he impacted."

Peter Scheetz, assistant director at Seton, recalled a similar kindness.

"When my wife and I got married, we were trying to buy a townhouse," Scheetz said. "We didn't have any credit. . . . Tom Vander Woude ended up co-signing our loan for our first house.

" There were many similar stories about Vander Woude, who served as a pilot during the Vietnam War, a commercial pilot after he returned home and a longtime volunteer coach.

His dying act was, "truly saintly" and "the crown of a whole life of self-giving," Bishop Paul S. Loverde said at the Mass. "May we find in his life inspiration and strength."

Comments (8)

John MacArthur
Century 21 Redwood - Washington, DC
Licensed Maryland/DC Realtor, Metro DC Homes

Don't let the little X fool you. I have permission to share the story. I hope you do the same.

Sep 17, 2008 10:12 AM
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

These little circles with the x piss me off a little.  I think this is a wonderful story, although very sad.  Thank you for sharing it. 

Sep 17, 2008 10:48 AM
Jason Sardi
Auto & Home & Life Insurance throughout North Carolina - Charlotte, NC
Your Agent for Life

Wonderful story.  Thank you for sharing kind Sir.

Sep 17, 2008 11:22 AM
Cindy Jones
Integrity Real Estate Group - Woodbridge, VA
Pentagon, Fort Belvoir & Quantico Real Estate News

A beautiful tale of one of the true heros.  Loved by family and friends.  The best tribute you can ask for.

Sep 17, 2008 01:00 PM
Paul LeMay
Caretaker Property Services - Tulsa, OK

thank you for sharing, it goes to show that our lives can have a positive impact on others, it just requires the ability to give quietly to your fellow man.   As a result, he gave love via his service to others and he was loved by those he touched with his presence.

Sep 17, 2008 02:02 PM
Jennifer Monroe
Indigo Home Team powered by Compass - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker/Designer

Very very sad, but such an example of how selfless true love can be.

Sep 17, 2008 03:41 PM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

John - This is a spectacular story about self-sacrifice and generosity.  This man lived well and was strongly loved.  I am going to include this post in the Family Ties recap today.

Oct 05, 2008 04:36 AM
Laurie Logan
Keller Williams Realty, Inc., Broker Associate - Madison, WI
South Central WI Real Estate

Hey John,

Thank you for telling us that powerful story - Love will always pevail.  I am touched to hear how so many came to honor him.

Oct 06, 2008 03:03 AM