True Arizona Mortgage Stories...of Death!   

Actually, there is no death involved, but keep reading anyhow.  I just needed a catchy title.

Everything you are about to read is 100% true.  Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

About four (maybe 5) years ago, I went on an appointment to try and qualify a certain family for a mortgage.  This was before I was "the boss"; I was a loan officer, beating the streets for any mortgage clients that I could find.  I used to always offer to "drive to them" if they were too busy to visit my office and this was one of those cases.

I pulled Mom and Dad's credit over the telephone and inquired as to their income.  I did my loan officer type calculations and figured out that I could qualify them for an Arizona FHA mortgage, but very little else.  (This was before the Option ARM.)

When I walked into their apartment, I was a bit taken aback.  It was a young couple with four children and they were living in a two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment.  One bedroom for the parents and two sets of bunks, I'd guess?  The place was a mess, but I am not critizing the mother- the fact that she was even sane and her kids were well-mannered and healthy was a major accomplishment.  The stress level must have been huge.  Oh yeah, there was a puppy too.  They needed a home badly.

Most of you know this, but just in case:  One doesn't qualify for a mortgage amount; one qualifies for the monthly payment.  You qualify, of course, based on how much you earn and how much is left over for bills and mortgage.  You could buy a million-dollar home right now if you earned minimum wage, but interest rates were at .01%.  Get it?

Okay, back to the story:

This has never happened to me as a loan officer and I can't imagine it will ever happen again, with all of the new mortgage loan programs, but...

It turned out they had no money for closing costs.  Zero, zip, zilch.  This was not a problem (or so I thought), because I could bump their rate up, make a higher commission, and than pay for their title fees and appraisal myself.  Here's where it get's weird.

The income she quoted me on the phone wasn't accurate.  She didn't lie to me; it was a simple mistake, but the bottom line is that it wasn't accurate.  'Nuff said.

The only way I could possibly qualify them was to give them a mortgage rate that was so low, that I could not earn a commission. 

I had a choice to make:  I could give them the 6% (or whatever it was at the time), but my commission would only be about $2500 and that would just cover the title fees and taxes and appraisal.  If I raised the rate to 6.125%, they couldn't qualify for the payment.  Than I would do what their bank did and tell them to come back when they have more money.  I couldn't watch these people live in squalor, not with a puppy damn it!

So I called the Realtor and told her that I qualified her borrowers for an Arizona FHA Mortgage.  About 35 days later, they moved into their new Gilbert AZ home.

Why did I tell this story?  To let everyone know that I am a big softie?  Nope, not at all.  In fact, I'm not "soft" at all; this was just acting like a "human being" as far as I was concerned.  Trust me, if she had a Prada bag and was driving a new car, I would have told them to hit the road!  I want a Prada bag!  No, they were genuinely just broke and it wasn't really their fault; they were just going through a spot.

What goes around comes around.

About six months later, all settled into their new home, "Mary" gives me a call.  She says she wants to be a loan officer.  She has no skills or qualifications, but I thought she would make a great loan officer.  Heck, she convinced me to give them a home loan when they (by most bank's standards) didn't qualify.

Today, she is-- without a doubt-- my best loan officer.  She is an Arizona-Home-Loan-Closing-machine.  I am so glad I didn't walk away from that deal, because I've received everything back in spades (money-wise).  She makes tons of money and now they own two houses!  I swear it.  She also bought a boat. 

More importantly, "Mary" has become one of my closest friends.  When I went through chemotherapy in 2005, she spoon-fed me homemade soup and stroked my bald head until I fell asleep.

So, yeah.  I'm glad I did that loan for free.

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