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The Ethic of Reciprocity ( OR ) Do YOU play nice in the sandbox?

By Elizabeth Nieves

Real Estate Agent with The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group 209227

September 18, 2008 03:42 PM

According to Wikipedia:

The ethic of reciprocity is a fundamental moral value which "refers to the balance in an interactive system such that each party has both rights and duties, and the subordinate norm of complementarity states that one's rights are the other's obligation."

According to Jesus Christ of Nazareth:

The ethic of reciprocity is the good, old fashioned 'Golden Rule' which states "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." I'm sure that most of us are familiar with this rule. If you are not...go look it up.

Now that I've established what the ethic of reciprocity is...I'd like to discuss how it specifically relates to how we play together in our little sandbox...A.K.A. ActiveRain. Once you learn to play nice in the sandbox, you can apply this ethic/principle to every area of your life...personal and professional...and reap amazing results. The best part is that it is so simple...even a child can understand it.

Sandbox

The Three Reciprocity R's for ActiveRain:

1. Read (Really) - If you leave a comment on someone's blog post, please take the time to really read what they wrote. There is nothing more offensive than reading a comment on your post that clearly does not relate to the post. It would be better not to comment at all.

2. Respond - When someone takes the time to read and comment on your posts, respond in kind. Don't just leave a comment in your own post in response to them, because they will most likely never see it anyway. Take a few minutes to go read their blog and leave them a comment. The same applies if someone adds you as an associate or subscribes to your blog. I have discovered some of the best bloggers/humans on ActiveRain by getting to know who is reading my blog.

3. Respect - This is so basic, but it is absolutely critical. ActiveRain's open forum allows us (the members) the opportunity to write and comment with little interference or censorship. The AR staff trusts us to be and act as the professionals we are. With over 109,000 members, it is impossible for everyone to agree all the time. However, you can disagree with someone and still respect them for who they are. IF everyone thought just like you...blogged just like you...agreed all the time with you...ActiveRain would be a really boring place. Let's respect and enjoy our differences.

I told you it was simple. The ethic of reciprocity works...in the sandbox...in life. Treat people the way you wish to be treated, and they will most often return the favor.

Happy Blogging!

Written and Posted by:

Elizabeth Nieves - Broker, REALTOR®

The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group @ Keller Williams (A Bilingual Real Estate Team serving Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill NC and surrounding areas.)

Search Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill Homes for Sale

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Chastity Guevara

Camelot's Quest Realty - Casa Grande, AZ

That's a really great post Beth. I really like the playing nice in the sandbox idea. I think you hit this one right on the mark. GBU

Sep 19, 2008 01:59 PM

Michael Sahlman

www.HomesForVIPs.com - Keller Williams Realty - Miami Beach, FL

e-PRO - Miami Beach Florida Luxury Homes

It is funny that you wrote apost about this. I just responded to someone else's post and mentioned the law of reciprocity just minutes ago...Hmmm maybe there is a pattern here!

Sep 19, 2008 04:57 PM

Alexander Harb

Knights Investing - Mesquite, TX

Dallas, Texas Real Estate Investing

This is a timely and MUCH needed repost on a topic made by another ActiveRain member.....

"The Golden Rule is golden!!"

I am glad you did it!!!

=-)

Sep 19, 2008 05:07 PM

Sylvia Barry

Coldwell Banker Previews International (#1 Marin_Sonoma_San Francisco_North_Bay) - San Rafael, CA

Marin and Sonoma Real Estate Leading Expert

Hi Elizabeth: Very nice post. One thing I am not doing is always go to the other person's blog, read and comment on it; what a great idea. I will make an effoert to do that. from now on.

Sep 20, 2008 01:35 AM

Elizabeth Nieves

The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group - Durham, NC

Bilingual Raleigh - Durham North Carolina Real Estate Team

LARRY: You made me smile this morning. TY & GBU!

MANDI: I learn something new every single day at AR. GBU!

LEANDER: You are welcome, my brother. It is not complicated, and like you said...we should have learned this a LONG time ago. GBU!

SHARON: You are always respectful! GBU!

CHERYL: You too, sis! TY & GBU!

PAM: You have a GREAT attitude. ALL of those things you are talking about are part of the learning experience. I've been bumped too for posting to the wrong group. It was an accident...and I learned. GBU!

JEN: I'm glad you are here. You should never let a bully push you around. IF you have any problems with any bullies here..lemme know. I can take care of 'em. GBU!

Sep 20, 2008 02:03 AM

Vicki Styons

RoomBenders - Columbia, SC

Hellooooo, Elizabeth, Don't I just feel stupid? I always respond to people on my own posts and I always check to see if they have responded back if I comment on their posts--not because I think it is their duty but because I am interested in what they may have to say. However I haven't gone to their blogs just because they responded to mine. I really should do that; after all we probably have a lot in common if they commented on my blog. (This is very convoluted and I really didn't mean for it to be) Thanks, and I'll be a better player in the sandbox!

Sep 20, 2008 02:03 AM

Elizabeth Nieves

The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group - Durham, NC

Bilingual Raleigh - Durham North Carolina Real Estate Team

CAROL: I could not have said it better! I have many friends and clients who don't agree with me. SO WHAT? That is life. Like I tell my girls..."Build a bridge and get over it!" GBU, sissy!

JUDY: For me...it is the ONLY way to live. GBU!

LYNN: I'm sure that many people don't know. That is one of the reasons I did this post. Knowledge is power. TY & GBU!

PAULA: Guess you missed that FIRST 'R'...huh? Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

DAVID: I JUST met someone wonderful this morning. How cool is that? GBU!

CAROL: YES...I see that. Talk about picking the worst possible blog post in which to leave THAT comment !!! YIKES!!! GBU!

SHEILA: Thank you, my friend! Welcome to AR & GBU!

JOHN: You are one of the most kind and considerate people I know. GBU!

LOL @ RONALD!! GBU!

CHAS: I think this is a topic that EVERYONE can relate to...or learn from. We gotta get along. GBU, my friend!

MICHAEL: You know what THEY say about GREAT MINDS! GBU!

ALEX: It is one of my favorite rules, brother! GBU!

SYLVIA: It is not always easy to do. Sometimes...it takes a lot of time...but it is sooooooo worth the effort. Happy Blogging & GBU!

Sep 20, 2008 02:13 AM

April Hayden-Munson

Brookfield, WI

Brookfield Wisconsin Real Estate

What a great thread here. Thanks, Elizabeth for getting this started with the three "R's" - I enjoy your writings!

Sep 20, 2008 09:19 AM

Terry Rasner-Yacenda

Broker,Owner - Dreams Realty - Reno, NV

"Dreams Realty"

Hi Elizabeth -- you are one impressive -- REALLY IMPRESSIVE -- lady. I read your post and thought: Wow, she's written a serious piece that is often thrown out nonchalantly by many others. Your 3Rs weren't edging like some other reciprocating advice posts I've read, but instead very loving and encouraging. Thank you, and God bless you!

Sep 20, 2008 12:59 PM

Brenda Harmon

Century 21 Beal, Inc College Station, Texas - College Station, TX

Elizabeth,

I do wish people would comment on my blogs when I comment on theirs. It would be nice.

Thanks,

Brenda

Sep 20, 2008 02:11 PM

Elizabeth Nieves

The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group - Durham, NC

Bilingual Raleigh - Durham North Carolina Real Estate Team

VICKI: I hope you read this comment, because I definitely DON'T think you are stupid. From your comment, I think you are honest, considerate and committed. IF my post helped you to learn a new way to play in the 'RAIN'...YEAH!! What you said...that you probably have a lot in common with them if they commented on your blog...YES!!!!! That is exactly the point. You will find REAL connections. I can't wait to go read your blog! GBU!!!

APRIL: You are sweet. Thank you so much! This post has generated a LOT more interest than I anticipated...and I'm thrilled. GBU!

TERRY: Thank you so very much, sister! I believe in and live by what I wrote. I fall short, but I do my best. I wrote this post to educate and share...NOT to accuse or attack. That would be completely contradictory to the third 'R'. :-) GBU, TOO!!

BRENDA: Hopefully...you will see a big improvement after this post. :-) GBU!

Sep 20, 2008 02:22 PM

Liz Moras Migic

Chilliwack, BC

Chilliwack, British Columbia - Realtor

wow Elizabeth - look at all the comments and not featured...how weird is that? Thanks for inviting me to play in your sandbox......as a child i was old allowed to play in one if my feet were out of it and my hands didn't get dirty???? go figure............so can i roll in it now? :-)

Sep 20, 2008 02:31 PM

Derenda Grubb

CENTURY 21 Mike D. Bono & Co.'s - Lake Charles, LA

GRI, ABR, CRS

Elizabeth,

You obviously hit a note that has touched many individuals souls. This is one of my favorite lines of operation and thought. You can call it the "Golder Rule" , "Mantra" or whatever. What you send out to others will come back to you in like kind. You had better decide what you want sent back to you before you start dishing it out. Great post.

Sep 20, 2008 02:58 PM

Vicki Styons

RoomBenders - Columbia, SC

Elizabeth, Of course I read your response! I always check back after i leave a response. :-) Obviously you have written a very popular blog. I think most people want to be kind and of course, we'd like for other to be kind also. I appreciate that you did not ust give me a pap answer but put thought into it just as it appears that you have done with all of the other comments you have received.

Sep 20, 2008 05:43 PM

. .

San Diego, CA

Jesus also threw the money changers out of the temple.

Sep 21, 2008 07:32 AM

June Lewis

Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA

Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Hi Elizabeth I just wanted to add my comments too and say again, what a great post. I love the bad egg comment and picture. Elizabeth you are a true blessing to AR and everyone who knows you through your post. You are God's beautiful messenger.

Sep 21, 2008 03:26 PM

Brian Belcher

RE/MAX Executive - Charlotte, NC

Charlotte Realtor

Nice post. Thank you for the kind reminder to...well....be kind.

Sep 22, 2008 01:42 AM

Shirley Parks

Sands Realty 210-414-0966 - San Antonio, TX

Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Real Estate

Wow, Elizabeth, you now have 83 comments on this post. Great post with simple but important points.

Sep 23, 2008 01:52 AM

Ann Dail

Baton Rouge Area Homes, Louisiana, USA, 225-761-0551 - Baton Rouge, LA

Broker/Realtor,CRS, ePRO, SRS, B.A.Chem

I especially appreciate the discussion thread here about point 2: commenting on someone's blog who replys to yours. As a newer "Rainer" I was confused about how and when to comment. Wondering if people actually see my reply or if I was suppose to email them from their link. I think I did all those for a while. :-) I like the comments all in a thread like this. Then a nice touch to look up the responders blogs and learn about them and comment. Time consuming, but worth it. I wish I had learned this a few months ago!

Sep 25, 2008 09:31 AM

Buffy Creekmore

731 Village Realtors - Lexington, TN

Realtor / Broker in Lexington Tennessee

Elizabeth, As many have said ~ thanx for the reminder about playing nice in the sandbox. My daughter is in middle school and I find myself going back to the golden rule quite often. Having said that I find myself thinking about situations I experience and my reactions comparing them to her sandbox and asking myself what would I advise her to do? Am I walking the walk I preach? As we go into adult life our sandboxes really aren't that different.

Sep 25, 2008 01:35 PM