Why, Why, Why?

Why,  Why, Why
         

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are  going dead?
   
   Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
   
   Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
   
   Why  doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
   
   Why  do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
   
   Why  doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
   
   Why  does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
   
   Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
   
   Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
   
   If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
   
   Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
   
   Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
   
   Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that  something new to eat will have  materialized?
   
   Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their  vacuum cleaner , then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put  it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
   
   Why  is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first  try?
   
   How  do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light  fixtures?
   
   When  we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a  shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's  all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That  hurt, are you stupid ?'
   
   Why  is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling  off the table you always manage to knock something else  over?
   
   In  winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer  when we complained about the heat?
   
   How  come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
   
   And  
  The  statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is  suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Laurie Logan Added....

And how can I be out of money, when I still have checks?

And..   why can't I pay my Visa bill with my Mastercard?

Carol Added....

And why does the mother who fed me plain corn flakes with skim milk lavish her granddaughter with Sugar Frosted Flakes, Lucky Charms, and Cap't Crunch

 Tammy Added

Why do bad things come in threes?

and

Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

(she really wanted this one answered)

Alan Added

and why does the atm at the drive up window have braille on the buttons?

BROOKE