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HEY GIRLFRIENDS...PLEASE WATCH YOUR SURROUNDINGS, BETTER BE SAFE THAN SORRY

By Phyllis Pafumi

Home Stager with ReStyled to Sell Home Staging New Jersey

April 05, 2007 02:19 PM

PLEASE LISTEN UP AND BE AWARE I NEED TO SHARE AN EXPERIENCE I ENCOUNTERED TONIGHT THAT WAS A LITTLE SCARY.

I went shopping in Marshalls for some items I needed for a client and I noticed this man was following me around the store. He pretended to be talking on his cell phone but the way he was watching me was making me very uncomfortable.

I know you are just like me and by the time you have walked thru the stores your shopping cart is so jam packed that things are spilling out. He was watching my every move. Then I found a perfect little chest of drawers that I needed so I lifted it into my cart and thought....hmmm, this guy could follow me out to my car and offer a helping hand getting this item into my car.

I had decided that I was not going to leave the store without having one of the stockboys help me out. It was just then that I noticed he was talking with a pretty young girl. I thought, okay this must be his girlfriend and he was probably calling her on her cell phone to find out where she was in the store. Makes sense, right?? Wrong!!

I noticed he shook her hand and was asking her alot of questions. It was then I said that's it!! I notified the manager and the girl at the register said he had been walking around the store for a couple of hours now. I was getting very nervous for that young girl he was speaking with so I made a big stink about this guy to the manager. The guy walked out of the store at that point.

I asked the girl if she knew him and she said no. She said he came over to her and said she was very attractive and wanted to know if she had a boyfriend and proceeded asking her a bunch of questions that were personal. That's when I asked for a cell phone (I accidentally left mine at home, not smart) and called the police. The manager was not too happy with that, but too darn bad.

They responded immediately and took our information and his description. At that point other women came forward and said they had seen him walking around and thought it quite strange as well. The manager really was NOT going to do anything about it. But the women in the store were glad I did.

We walked each other to our cars and the cops scanned the parking lot and was watching out for him. This experience really got me thinking. We are always running from one store to another often times so preoccupied and exhausted that we don't pay attention to our surroundings. It is safe to say that we all have a mess load of items that we need to load in our car and would probably love a helping hand. I believe this guy was looking for just that type of person.

Trust your instincts, watch your surroundings and really, really be aware of suspicious characters. I am too old to care what people think of me. The women in the store were glad I took action. It is always better to be safe than sorry.

Jane Haas just posted a blog about safety for realtors with suspicious clients and meeting them at vacant houses. Read her blog under Realtors on Active Rain. Unfortunately we live in a crazy world today and we need to be smart women.

I love you girls and care so very much about the safety of all. My daughter experienced first hand what it is like to fight off an attacker. Thankfully she did without getting harmed. I praise God for that everyday of my life and truly believe he saw an angel and got frightened and ran away. I felt personally obligated tonight to warn the women in that store and all of you as well.

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Rick & Ines - Miami Beach Real Estate

Majestic Properties - Miami Beach, FL

Phyllis - thanks for this post, we do need to be aware of our surroundings and slow down a bit. You did a great thing - you were proactive and there's nothing wrong with that!

Ines

Apr 05, 2007 03:39 PM

Phyllis Pafumi

ReStyled to Sell Home Staging New Jersey - Old Bridge, NJ

ReStyled to Sell Staging Homes NJ

Hey everyone I cannot believe the response I am getting from all...Karen thank God your little sister is okay, thank God you were there and did not care what anyone thought about you...it really is something that does not leave you. I just cannot sleep and I just prayed and thanked God for stopping whatever it was that only He knew was about to happen....I get the chills

You guys are the best and you are all right don't go on appts at night alone, I remember Val had a weird situation once and she had brought a friend. Destaging is something I never considered but yeah we need to lock doors and be with another person ALWAYS

Phyllis Pafumi

Apr 05, 2007 03:44 PM

SANDRA E GLEICHER

K Fortuna Realty, Inc - Lagrangeville, NY

"Let's Get Busy"

WOMEN...BAND TOGETHER! THE BIG BAD WOLF IS OUT THERE! BE CAREFUL OF WHEN, WHERE AND WHAT YOU DO AT ALL TIMES!!

BE SAFE! GOD BLESS.

SANDY

Apr 06, 2007 03:32 AM

Toronto's 2 Hounds Design: Decorating + Staging

2 Hounds Design + Home Staging - Toronto, ON

Thanks for the post. As I tell my kids, 'eyes open all the time'.

Apr 06, 2007 06:51 AM

Erica Howard

Take 2 Home Staging - Centerville, OH

Great post! My one and only post (so far) was also regarding this issue. My dad was a police officer when I was growing up so I sometimes feel I am overly suspicous of people. But, I truly believe in following my gut instincts! Even if it means making a scene :)

Apr 06, 2007 02:19 PM

Val Allocco

Staged 2 Sell New York & Long Island - Northport, NY

HSE; ASHSR - Home Stager, for Manhattan, Brooklyn & Long Island

Phyllis - that really is such a scary situation - and you are so right about us being so preoccupied with all of the things that we need to pick up for a job that we are sometimes oblivious to what may be going on around us! I will admit that once I get outside a store, I am super sensitive to everything that is going on around me - even in broad daylight! However, when you have a lot of merchandise to stow away in the car, you do run the risk of being quite vulnerable!

Thank you for the 'reality test'!

VAL

Apr 06, 2007 03:20 PM

John McKenna

InfraredClass.com - Dallas, TX

It is sad but true... we must be away of what is going on around us all the time. Good post.

Apr 06, 2007 05:08 PM

Kathleen Lordbock

Keller Williams Realty Professionals - Baxter, MN

Keller Williams Realty Professionals

I like that you weren't only concerned for your own safety but watchful of others,

I'm also to old to care what "they" think

Apr 06, 2007 06:08 PM

Rick McCullough

Alert Home Services - Denver, CO

That is very scary, and the Manager WOULDN'T do a thing, I would bring it up to his higher up's and see what they have to say about that. You should feel safe in any reputable store.

Apr 06, 2007 07:50 PM

Melody Young

Milestone Motoring - Auto Broker/Dealer - Westlake Village, CA

Auto Broker-Milestone Motoring

Great post and an eye opener. I've been accused more than once of being oblivious of my surroundings. I need to make a conscious effort to take notice and be aware. So much better to be safe than sorry. Thank you!

Apr 06, 2007 08:28 PM

Kathy Nielsen

http://atlantahomestaging.net - Marietta, GA

Atlanta Georgia Home Stager

Thanks for this very important reminder. We can never be too careful! Great post and I'm so glad you took action despite the manager's reaction.

Kathy

Apr 06, 2007 09:53 PM

Kathleen "Kathy" Holbrook

Waterfront Realty Group Inc & SW Florida Realty Staging - Naples, FL

Retail Managers should always have their guest's safety first on their list. Don't take no for an answer.. Believe me, in the mid 1980's an agent was murdered at a showing in a rural Maine showing. Follow the rules you set for your children. Even at our age, strangers are a danger.

Congrats Phyllis on your insistence.

Apr 07, 2007 10:28 AM

Karen Rice Keller Williams Real Est

Keller Williams Real Estate - Hawley, PA

Northeast PA & Lake Wallenpaupack Home Sales

We all can have that "sixth sense."

I strongly urge EVERYONE to read The Gift of Fear by Gavin deBecker. It is a must read!!!!!!!

Apr 07, 2007 10:56 AM

Carol Erks Greater Midwest Realty

Greater Midwest Realty - Saint Paul, MN

Thank you for sharing your story...Good for you. You were right to do what you did. Thank you. I am a Stager and have my real estate brokers license. I have been in situations that have not felt comfortable.

Always be aware of your surroundings, yes, always. "The nose knows". I will be hosting a round table at our Annual Conference for Stagers. Safety and the Stagers...

Carol ASPM IAHSP

Apr 08, 2007 05:24 PM

Maureen Bray Portland OR Home Stager ~ Room Solutions Staging

Room Solutions Staging, Portland OR - Portland, OR

"Staging Consultations that Sell Portland Homes"

Thank you Phyllis for sharing your story -- you handled that scary situation very well. As stagers, we're often out in unknown territory while in shopping malls, in empty homes in strange and unfamiliar neighborhoods, etc. and we can't be too careful. Thanks for the reminder!

Apr 08, 2007 05:49 PM

Suzanne Bennett

Sold By Design - Saint Petersburg, FL

Sold By Design- St. Petersburg

I'm glad you trusted your gut instinct and made the call. Your actions may have really prevented something terrible from happening. Having the police respond and scan the parking lot could have very well sent that guy (who may have been waiting for the right moment) on his way.

This is really a great reminder to be alert at all times. I usually keep my cell phone in my pocket when loading the car, but it's important to keep scanning the environment when doing so. I'll also remember this post if ever being offered help to load something in the car. I hate to be overly cautious, but you're right....it's better to be safe than sorry.

Thanks for a great post!

Apr 09, 2007 01:11 AM

Maureen Graziano

Third Eye Home Staging - West Islip, NY

Hi Phyllis - Great job!!! There are a lot of creeps out there and malls are a perfect hunting ground for them. Always be aware of your surroundings. Many people are lulled into a false sense of security in a mall environment. It only takes a minute (or less) for something to happen.

Another thing to be careful about is your handbag. I see it all the time. In malls, women put their bags down at food courts, etc. Thieves can lift them easily (and quickly) and you won't even notice them. Also, in supermarkets, women leave handbags in the "seat". Then they turn their backs to look at items on the shelf. That bag could be lifted in a second.

Women need to look out for one another. Don't worry about being polite. If someone is bothering you ignore them, and look for a cop or security guard. Don't give them the chance to harras you. Always be on gurard and keep your valuables (and yourself) protected.

Apr 09, 2007 01:20 AM

Anonymous

Carol Erks

Just a quick FYI...When you are near anyone, and I mean anyone, keep them out of your peronal space.

A police/sheriff dept deputy, from INTERPOL has been training through the years of real estate continuing ed. He said, "if someone is within arms length" when they are near you they are in your personal space. Move or ask them to move, if they keep coming closer.....Take charge.

When walking past someone, never look away, alway look at them, in MN we can call that, "MN Nice". Watch your back side, when someone is following you, walk to the other side of the street, or stop, move over and let them pass you. Depending on where you are.

Expensive hand bag? What an investment.

In the store-in the bank-people want to see your information. Be careful how you hand your driver license to the clerk. There are bushels of prying eyes out there bumping you thru the lines so they can see your information. And we worry about the computer.

Apr 09, 2007 05:00 AM

#26

Sheron Cardin

California Moods Inc - Selma, CA

ARTIST - A Home Stager/Sellers Best Friend!

Exactly! This is why my little girl is in her second year of Karate! She already has all the boys scared of her at school...just as it should be...it builds her confidence. Being able to take care of herself is a priority. For me, I never look strangers in the eye (unless they are really cute).

Thanks for the reminder Phyllis.

Apr 15, 2007 03:47 AM

Carol Flores

4 Square Home Staging & ReDesign - Fort Worth, TX

We took martial arts as a family...I recommend everyone taking at least a self defense class. When I did RE appraisals before becoming a HStager, I encountered some situations that could have spiraled out of control had I not been trained to handle them (especially in vacant houses). Even in staging - a vacant home- you don't know who's been in the house/ unlocked a window/ or who is watching you - always tell someone where you are going (address) and cell phone in hand (make sure you get a signal, if not -know what parts of the house you do!). Pay attention to that 'gut' feeling...trust yourself!

Phyllis-Great Job!

Apr 15, 2007 05:24 AM