I've been told that I am oddity when it comes to birthdays.  I hate celebrating my birthday.  I always have.  I don't mind celebrating someone else's birthday, just mine.  I also hate telling anyone how old I am, and will avoid a direct answer at all costs.

However, I am trying to come to terms with turning a year older... (eeks! I've even admitted to three different people what my real age is!) and I have to wonder if some of my friends and family are planning something as a surprise.  Good God I hope not.  My birthday is still a few weeks away, and the birthday panic has started to really set in.  I don't want anyone to do anything for my birthday!

I can give a list of less than stellar occurrences that have happened on my birthday that generally make everyone understand why I don't like celebrating my birthday (like, burying my father).  But the real reason is that I just don't like to.  People always expect for me to explain why, and I don't like giving depressing answers, so I've decided to try a different approach.  It's called sarcasm.  Why 13 reasons?  Because it's considered an unlucky number, and my birthday has never been lucky day for me.

I don't like celebrating my birthday because:

1) It means I have to say "thank you" over and over again all day long.

2) I would have to smile.  I hate smiling.  That's why I never do it.

3) Someone would give me a gift, and I would have to write a thank you card.  And mail it.

4) If I went out to dinner the waiters and waitresses would sing an embarrassing birthday song.

5) If I went out to dinner they might give me my meal for free.

6) My kids would want pie, and I would have to be the one to make it.

7) It would give me a reason to eat a whole pan of brownies.

8) People would call me and blow my cell phone minutes.

9) I would be expected to take the day off.

10) My husband might give me flowers, which he only does when things are really, really bad.

11) I would have to come up with new ways how to answer, "So how old are you?"

12) My kids would give me gifts and I would have to take them shopping and pay for them.

13) Someone would tell me I look young for my age

To the two people on AR that I volunteered my age to (what was I thinking?!), if you even remember, I'll pay good money for your silence.  In the meantime, a very merry un-birthday to everyone else!