Hello Mutta, Hello Fatta I know

I am working with ya dautta,

Dont be scared or nervous,

I am here to be at your service.

One of my friends says that God makes babies so wonderful and cute that you love them through their teenage years.  God also makes them teenagers so you are able to let them move on and move out when they are in their late teens.  I always thought that was a pretty good analogy.

I know you nurtured and sheltered your child to the nth degree of your love and ability.  Now they have gone off and grown up.  I know, the nerve of them.  They have been out in the working world for awhile and may actually have saved up some of their own money to consider starting to look for their very own home.

This will be a new milestone for them.  I know you will want to be there and support them through this transaction.  I am going to tell you, as a first time buyer specialist, you - Mom and Dad- need to be there for them, but you MUST let them navigate this transaction on their own with their REALTOR®.  They will call you to discuss the transaction and ask for your advice.  They will resent you if you try to "do" the transaction for them.  I have seen this happen more times than not, but far be it for me to get in the middle of a family squabble.

The questions you, Mom and Dad, will want to ask your kids as they purchase their first home are;

  • Who are you working with as your agent?
  • How much experience does your agent have?
  • Does the agent specialize in the area you are interested in?
  • Does the agent have a good balance of Buyer Transactions vs Seller transactions.
  • Of the Buyer Transactions - are first time home buyers one of the agent's specialties.
  • Did the agent refer 2 or 3 lenders so rates and services can be compared.
  • Does the agent represent the buyer or the seller.
  • Will the agent have a Buyer Broker Agreement where the agent has a Fiduciary relationship with the buyer?
  • Does the agent have a "Buyer Pre-qualification Appointment" to lay a good foundation for a smooth transaction?
  • Does the agent have a grasp on basic financing information.

If you  are not sure about the agent, you can do a search based on the agent's license number with the state commission.  In Maryland, we work under a Fiduciary relationship.  That means that the agent has to, by law, put the interest of their client above all others - even the agent's own interests.  Fiduciary is the highest form of loyalty in any  relationship.  As a matter of fact, we agents probably have a higher loyalty to your kids than you do now that they are adults.  So know they are in good hands.

Mom and Dad, don't worry.  You did a great job raising your children.   They know right from wrong.  When I work with First time home buyers, they will typically come and see me for the initial buyer prequalification appointment.  Once that has been done and we have the ground work set, they will go out with me and look at different homes and pick the ones they like the most.  That will be when they call you into the transaction.  They will want to show you the work and research they have done.  They will also want your opinion about the homes they have narrowed down in their search.

Once you get there to see the house(s) they have picked, look for the major items of concern, but please don't beat the house up.  I have had parents be so hard on the house their kids choose, I have had some cry at the house because they think you hate their house.  Just help them, don't criticize them.  Remember, it is THEIR home, not yours.

I find that the parents that come with the kids to every appointment from start to finish and make all of the decisions during the transactions end up with more friction between family members than friction with the agents.   Remember, your kids are no dummies and they have probably done more homework and research on the internet than you did when you bought your first home.  Together with their agent, they should make a smart, sound decision.

Just relax, be there for them, let them ask you - because they will want your advice- and it should be a smooth transaction for all.

 

Hello Mutta, Hello Fatta

 
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13 Comments on Hello Mutta, Hello Fatta . . .

OCT
01
2008

Great post! Written well. I couldn't agree more on the stages of a childs development. I have quite a while before my children buy their first home, but this is defintiely good info for us controlling parents:-)

 

Salwa

 

 

1:56pm • #1

Fantastic Post!  What you say is sooo true.  I have had many first time buyers who made excellent decisions on their home choices.  The parents were very proud to come to visit and never were involved in the transaction.  Everyone is happily enjoying their homes! 

1:58pm • #2
220,911 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Audrey~  You have done a very nice job with this post!  Very good information for all first time homebuyers to read and take heed.  Sometimes parents are overbearing in trying to help!  It would be different if it was the parents buying it for them.... :)   Vickie

2:01pm • #3
444,549 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Hey, Audrey. What a wonderful post. I think that all parents need to read this. All my best, Jim

2:08pm • #4
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Salwa,  You will be just fine when it is time for them to buy.  Thanks for stopping by.

Tanya, I agree, I think the parents are really proud when the kids do it on their own.

Vickie, I think some parents like to give money to keep some control.  They just can't help themselves.

Jim, I hope some of the parents do see this at some point, or something similar.

2:15pm • #5
164,992 Points 10 Featured Posts Outside Blog Hit Router

Audrey- I love to meet the parents ... I usually chat with the "kids" ahead of time about their Concerns, if they have any...  Thank you for the useful advice for agents and buyers alike.

2:16pm • #6

Hi Audrey,

This is a great post. My oldest son just got married and that was hard enough. After all of these years of helping, it is hard to believe he has a wife. I still have trouble saying that. I know when they are ready I will let them make their own decisions. I just hope I can help them not make too many mistakes. I have been described as a "Helicopter Mother" just because I like to be involved. They call it hovering. Such a difference of opinion. Oh well they may have their own say on a home, but when it comes to children I bet they won't hesitate to ask me to babysit. (I can't wait) I will be the grandma who buys the kid a set of drums and then goes home. Payback is a b......

Happy Wednesday,

Lori Isaacson

2:18pm • #7
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Debbie, Actually, I do great with mom and dad.  When mom and dad are there, I treat them just like they are right smack in the middle of the deal, but I do think they should give the kids some breathing room.

Lori, you are so funny.  At least you know you are an "involved parent".  Don't worry, they will come to you - I just think it is good to let them come to you.  Good for you for being so close to your kids.

2:22pm • #8
600,263 Points 111 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

I just got into contract with a daughter of a referral (Realtor® in Florida) and I tell you what...it is the most smooth process so far. Nice when the family/Realtor®) trusts us too.

4:22pm • #9
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Sally, That is so great.  But then, what's not to trust about you?  It does make it easier, doesn't it?

4:38pm • #10
3 Featured Posts Outside Blog

HI AUDREY!

What a post!!  I haven't read a post until this one that addresses the parents of homebuyers.  You've said what we've all been wanting to say and so eloquently I might add!  You continuously prove you value with each post you write!

BRAVO!

5:35pm • #11
162,163 Points 6 Featured Posts Outside Blog

What a great post!  I think you should copy it and hand it out to the parent's of the buyers!  The parents that are there to be supportive are really wonderful.

5:41pm • #12
151,938 Points 19 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

Yvette, You are sweet.  I am glad you liked the post.

April, I think that is a great idea.  I think I will print it and give it to Mom and Dad.  Maybe I might tweak it a bit.  Thanks for the idea.

6:20pm • #13

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Audrey June-Forshey, GRI, Gaithersburg, MD

Darnestown, MD

More about me…

RE/MAX Realty Group

Address: 6 Montgomery Village Ave, Suite 200, Gaithersburg , MD, 20879

Office Phone: (301) 921-2672

Cell Phone: (301) 938-8028

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