Well, now that I've correctly spelled the word "amok," (per Wikipedia) I have something that I really want to discuss with my fellow bloggers here at Active Rain. You see, it was in my high school geometry class that I really learned the meaning of the phrase "I can't..."

He was not all that tall of a man; but he had a way of making you feel like the smallest person in the world. His name was Coach Sizemore and I feared him. He yelled at me once, and while I am almost embarrassed to say this, I peed my pants! He was a football coach and if I remember correctly, a military background lingered in there somewhere.

I struggled with geometry, as do many students. And many students in the class often whined "I can't..." (Liz, I am putting these ...s in for you!"

Fast forward to this past week. It was ridden with "I can't..." On Saturday, my niece (18 years old) was so afraid to make a fool out of herself that she kept "I can'ting" while a group of us were snowboarding on our Nintendo Wii. Now, she did eventually try, and I give her credit for that. Then the following morning as my children in Sunday school were cutting out their traced hands, one girl (we'll say she's 7...I'm not sure of the age), who has an extreme fear of messing things up, kept saying "I can't...what if I cut the pinkie off!?!?"

Coach Sizemore used to say "Can't never could do anything." My niece doesn't understand that statement, but I think I do. I've realized that if we defeat ourselves before the smallest tasks, such as cutting out a hand or playing with a silly video game, no wonder we are paralyzed in doing the important, monumental tasks of following our dreams.

My dream is this: To be a work-from-home mommy who is able to raise her baby and help her husband support her household without going completely insane. I have such an incredible WHY for this cause that I refuse to get bogged down by the how. If you read Elizabeth Ward Small's September Newsletter, you'll remember the quote she passed along that said: Those who know how will always be employed. They will be working for those who know why. Because "Can't never could do anything," I refuse to let myself be defeated and paralyzed by fear.

I have to add this part because if I don't I will not be staying true to who I am. Strength comes from the Lord. I know that at the end of the day all that truly matters is that my actions are glorifying to Him. And I just don't feel like "I can't..." corresponds with "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13.