Several days ago I was thinking about Bruce and contemplating how I would celebrate his life today, October 25, 2008. It’s the first anniversary of his death and his freedom flight into a new world. It isn’t just a celebration of his life--—it’s a celebration for all who knew him.

I don’t need to repeat what occurred during his last year—his challenges with cancer;  his remission; or  his death. Instead my purpose is to share a few of his, mine and our experiences that are dear to my heart. May these memories bring you laughter, insight or inspiration for your own life.

His voice—Anyone who knew Bruce recognized his rich baritone voice. They also knew privately he was a quiet man. However, when he stood before a group of soldiers, addressed business leaders at a conference or faced a microphone and television camera he became “Mr. Personality.” He commanded everyone’s attention. Bruce’s voice resonated trust and believability no matter what the subject.  Hearing his voice for the first time, before I ever met him in person, sent me reeling!

Waiting—Once we decided to marry, Bruce came to visit with me in San Antonio. It was a vacation without any purpose other to share time together. Waiting for him at the airport that morning in June 1997 was a very long wait. I was pacing back and forth hoping, praying he was on the plane, but worried that maybe he had changed his mind...what would I do if that happened? The plane landed, I waited and paced some more... I anxiously looked at all the passengers disembarking - there were hundreds of people, but none of them were Bruce.  I waited until I was convinced he was not on the plane... no one else seemed to be left, the jet way was empty, some of the flight crew were in the waiting area... yet I waited praying, wishing, hoping and yes, finally there he was walking towards me with a look of concern on his face while asking me why I was so pensive. I smiled, we hugged and kissed and I replied, “I’m not pensive any more.” All of my anxiety and waiting was forgotten. My prayers were answered, we were together and he wasn’t going any where for nine glorious days!

Responsibility—it was a part of his upbringing. Times were hard and both parents had to work. Louise, his mother, depended upon him at home with cooking and looking after his younger brother.
When Bruce was thirteen he went to work as a bus boy in an upscale restaurant in Seattle. He gave part of his earnings to his family to make ends meet. He worked his way up at the restaurant while attending college. The ROTC program at college peaked his interest... another way to earn a few dollars more plus the idea of adventure the Army offered was irresistible. By the time he married and graduated from college he was the youngest executive chef in Seattle with a baby daughter. 

Independence—Bruce could have remained as executive chef in the Seattle restaurant sharing a comfortable life with his family. Instead, became an officer in the Army, traveled, continue to increase his family, served two tours in an unpopular war and completed an MBA.  After twenty years of Army life he was ready for a new challenge. He retired from the Army on a Friday and began a new career as a loan officer the following Monday not knowing there were two “g’s” in mortgage.

On his first day at the mortgage company he asked a secretary to make photocopies for him. She promptly showed him how to operate the copy machine saying something to the effect, “Colonel your rank and medals won’t buy you a cup of coffee in this office!”  Quite a comeuppance from having a helicopter, car, driver, boat, et cetera at the snap of his fingers.

Patience—I can hear Louise’s thunderous laughter shaking the lofty rafters of Heaven! Neither one of us are known for our patience unless it happens NOW! Patience is not a virtue for Bourgaults in general, but I discovered he had infinite patience with me or anyone that displayed any effort to learn something new.

Family—He was so proud of his family and their accomplishments. He was proud of Judy, his first wife of twenty-eight years, when she earned her degree and became a successful computer programmer. He was proud of her for raising three independent, resourceful and loving children while he was away during most of his Army career. Catherine, Jeanne and Robert are wonderful people and successful in their own right. All are married with families of their own who have given our family five delightful grandchildren. Even though Bruce’s children are not my own I love them and are grateful for them. Because of them our lives were richer and that richness continues in my life today.

Virtues, Mistakes, Gifts, A Few Words of Wisdom-—Bruce was imperfect, but he dedicated himself to be as good a person as he could be.  He believed in community service and helping others.  He was an active Rotarian and was awarded the Paul Harris Fellowship this year from the International Rotary Organization.  He gave time, energy and money to people we will never know about. He mentored, he taught and he shared freely.

When Bruce became successful in the mortgage business he made a serious mistake. For too long he was enamored with money and being a big fish in a small pond. This was, at least in part, the demise of one the most important relationships in his life. It cost him dearly, but he learned and did not repeat that mistake again.  Later when he saw a friend or co-worker making the same mistake he told them about his sorrow and regret that mistake created in his life... he didn’t want it to happen to them.

Frank, Bruce’s father, taught him to watch and learn from the turtle... essentially it means you have to take risks to succeed, i.e. if you don’t stick your neck out you aren’t going to get anywhere in life. It’s part of learning to live fearlessly and not allowing your fear to prevent you from living a full life.

He always said, “keep you eye on the sparrow.” I learned it as “keep your eye on the prize.”  Which ever way you say it, it’s important to remember—to focus, visualize and believe you can achieve your goals and dreams.  We practiced this together, it works and we lived/shared many of our dreams together.

He gave us the gift of laughter... he was a natural at telling jokes and stories. He was a good golfer... always played by the rules of golf and proved that age and treachery won over youth and skill!  He was a gourmet cook, loved boating, cruising, reading and discussing politics. He believed his life had a higher purpose... he just didn’t know the higher purpose was intended for his next life!

There is always more that can be said, but I think it’s enough for those of you reading this to realize Bruce led a full life—a life to be celebrated again and again.  So now it’s time for me to load my kayak on my car, take the flower petals, Shiner Bock beer and a hot dog to the lake to say “Cheers my Love—well done!”