Divorces and Agents - How Do You Deal With These Tricky Situations?

All I can say is you better have a poker face because you are going to need one.  Been there done that many times.  Facts, facts, facts.  No emotion.  None.

Hi Bill

This post of yours reminds me of 2 stories.  The first real estate transaction I did was my best friend's divorce.  As we're sitting at the closing table and as they were fighting over the check from the sale (who would take it, who would cash it, etc.), it occurred to me that maybe I should have passed that information to the closing attorney before closing.  :)  I'm not sure if the attorney could have split the check into 2, but it would have made that situation easier for everyone had I known enough to mention it.

Also my own parent's divorce after 37 years of marriage (before I was in RE).   My mom moved in with me and my dad put the house on the market right away.  It sold immediately and the listing agent called my mom (who barely resembled a human being she was so distraught) and was so excited and upbeat that the house sold so quickly, she had no tact at all for the situation.   My husband had to remind her that my mom wasn't as happy as she was about the house selling and only then did she realize that maybe she should settle down.

Thanks for the post!

Using they attorneys is the smoothest suggestion.  They will have to approve of the deal anyway.

I have dealt with a few divorce sales.  I tell them up front I only do things once and they will have to put their personal differences aside long enough to get the paperwork signed.  The cases I've dealt with have been relatively amicable, both want to sell the house and move on.  Couples have gotten into heated discussions in front of me and I've told them that I do not appreciate them arguing while I am present and if we are to get the job done the arguing needs to be set aside until I'm done and gone.  So far it's been successful, it's just uncomfortable.

This is a tough situation. Often the one left in the house makes it really hard to show the house.

Bill, I recently had the very sad occasion to witness two clients, who also had been friends, end a very terrible twenty year marriage. My company had the listing on their home which was part of the courts dissolution agreement. They were both battling depression and mild drug addiction to anti depressants, alcoholism and narcotics for orthopedic problems.

The husband was a medical technician, and she was a very successful retail saleswoman.

The husband refused to leave the home after she moved out and wouldn't cooperate with the showing assignments and he forced the home into foreclosure.

They lost everything. Even their pets to adoption. The home was magnificient and sold for half market.

It will absolutely tear your heart to pieces to see these things unfold before your eyes. And we're helpless to do anything about it. The best we can do is try to be a friend and offer our prayers and what level of professionalism we might sustain in view of the adversity. I know that terminating the listing was an option for my brokerage, but it was also a liferaft which just could not support the heavy burden upon them. Both must cooperate and they didn't.

Sadly, this is happening all over America this very moment to many beautiful souls and their precious families.

Thank you for your post and allowing to share this with you.

An excellent post Bill. We must remember our jobs require us to remain unemotional but that does not stop us from being human. Life is sad, and tough sometimes. Not only divorce but also the situation of helping to sell property to settle an estate comes to mind. Every type of emotion can be present from grief to anger when dealing with these situations as an agent. We must try, as hard as it is, to be unemotional. But I cannot do it, I always want to be my clients friend, and I care about people too much sometimes.

It is difficult sometimes when one party does not want to show the home. It seems everything is done to spite the other one.  It is best if you maintain a "this is business" approach. In most cases, the divorce situations I dealt with one of the partners had already left and did not seen to have much input.  The attorney at the closing table (if forwarned) can generally handle the unruly party.  There was one situation where two checks were issued to the owners of the commercial property and the wife of one was to get a share from her husband's settlement.  She came to closing to make sure that happened and of course, the attorney could not give her a check as she was not an owner of record.  It was worked out, but the attorney had to be firm but gentle with her a couple of times.  It was a tense situation.   Another closing one the husband stayed completely out of it except initialing/signing the contract and documents for his agent, and attended the closing earlier in the day to avoid problems.  That worked out well for everyone.  And yes, it is very sad sometimes.