Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.

Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Full Name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

Ow: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

Puddle: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

Show Off: a child who is more talented than yours.

Sterilize: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

Top Bunk: where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

Two Minute Warning: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

Verbal: able to whine in words

Whodunit: none of the kids that live in your house..

Weekend: when Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.