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The Ten Commandments of Commenting - Thou Shalt Not........

Recently, someone felt the need to promote their own site and services on my blog. At first, I was really angry and tempted to say some not-so-nice things. Then, those 4 years of Catholic school kicked in, "forgive them Lord for they (OBVIOUSLY) know not what they do".

So, maybe it's time for a refresher on commenting. Feel free to add your own...there's no rule that we can ONLY have Ten Commandments of Commenting!

1. Thou Shalt Not Promote Your Site or Services on Someone Else's Blog. (if your comment is interesting enough, others will click and visit you for more info)

2. Thou Shalt Not Comment Solely for the Sake of Commenting. (commenting for points is just wrong)

3. Honor Your Fellow Bloggers. (be polite and courteous, even when disagreeing)

4. Thou Shalt Not Steal. (read Lenn Harley's blog for any questions regarding this)

5. Thou Shall Comment and Comment Regularly. (for every blog post you write, comment on at least 10 others)

6. Thou Shalt Not Comment When Angry, Upset, Drunk or Emotional.

7. Thou Shalt Not be a Closed-Minded Know-it-All. (do not be condescending and be open to other's ideas and beliefs)

8. Thou Shalt Not Troll. (make a comment that disrupts the flow of discussion)

9. Thou Shalt Not be a Coward. (do not post anonymously)

10. Thou Shalt Not be Longwinded. (be succinct and to the point)

Tina in Virginia

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Tina Merritt and the ALL757 Network can be reached at email: tina@tinamerritt.com or 757-287-6338.

The ALL757 Network consists of both buyer and listing specialists helping buyers and sellers in Virginia Beach, Chesapeake, Norfolk, Portsmouth, Suffolk, Isle of Wight County, Hampton, Newport News and Poquoson, Virginia.

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Posted by Tina Merritt - Virginia Beach Real Estate on 10/27/2008 12:01 PM

Comments (103)

Commenting in the ActiveRain Channel

commenting, blogging, tina, virginia, ten, commandments

Originally posted at: Hampton Roads Virginia Real Estate: The Ten Commandments of Commenting - Thou Shalt Not........

Post is included in group: Active Rain Newbies
Post is included in group: Blogging Etiquette 101
Post is included in group: Blogging & SEO
Post is included in group: Realtors®
Post is included in group: The Art Of Marketing You

103 Comments on The Ten Commandments of Commenting - Thou Shalt Not........

OCT

2008

Nice Tina, can we get those in stone. I am guessing AR needs to send those out to quite a few of our members.

I don't mind long comments personally on my blogs but I will keep this brief..

;- )

Good post..#6 could be a problem as some are always in one of those conditions!

Hey, Tina -

Can you print these out on Tablets of Stone?

Very good points - and I know what you're talking about!

Many post very short "at a boy" comments just to gain the points. Do 10 "at a boy's" in a day, you get 250 of them! It might seem to them as an easy, cheap way simply to get visibility - but, in my opinion, somewhat lazily and dishonestly - and I didn't go to Catholic school!

I, too, hate self promotion of a product or service on someone elses blog - I just had it out with a fellow from WI recently on that very subject - he not only posted his comment, but was quite aggressive afterward with his phone calls. I don't have time for this. You?

Also respect your "know it all" Commandment - especially during this election season. Often times, it seems their are just too many nut jobs out there in 2008, preaching the politics of labeling, and hate. That really scares, and very much disappoints, me.

Drop in anytime!

DEAN & DEAN'S TEAM CHICAGO

Tina-a great recap of all the commandments we should follow on AR. #4 has been a particular pet peeve of mine recently. On a side note. Ouch on the Hokies game Saturday :-(

Agreed!

Also, Bloggers shall not delete comments, just 'cause you don't agree with them.

http://www.realcentralva.com/2008/10/26/i-can-think-of-only-a-couple-reasons-to-delete-comments/#comment-19294

Tina,

I promise I am not commenting just to comment!!! This post is very humorous but oh so true! Thanks for posting these guidelines!!!

Thank you Tina, I am fairly new at blogging and it is good to see what the expectations of behavior may be. I enjoy reading peoples comments and getting fresh prospectives on about any subject that may interest me. Thank you again. Deb

thanks for the breadcrumbs Matt R... I saw something about it on Twitter yesterday but did not get the whole scoop.

Matt - Are you promoting your blog on mine???? He he.

Maureen - I'm intrigued now and need to go to Matt's blog. There's a difference between long comments and long-winded comments too!

Diane & Bob - you are welcome and thanks for the compliment!

Deborah - great comment and I look forward to seeing more of you on the 'rain!

Cindy - Thou Shalt Not Mention Games the Hokies Lose on my Blog! he he - thanks for the condolences.

Larry - maybe we can start a list of those who need them????

Gary - you are so correct!

Dean - thanks for the thoughtful comment. It's amazing how some commenters want to turn everything into being about "them" - don't they? Do you think it's a sign of insecurity?

A nice reminder, thank you Tina. I still post a laugh or good post! post now and then but I mean it, I don't post for points. I also don't mind people who have blogs related to mine posting their link. No problem here but mindless self plugging would be irritating.

There is an issue though. I have read countless blogs about people wanting everyone who views their blog to say something, anything. Some only want comments that add to the discussion. Can't please everyone.

Tina... Thank you for another great post. This very concisely outlines the do's and don't's of commetning. For an A|R Newbie like me, this is wonderful! I have bookmarked and suggested for a feature! Way to go!

Diana - you are correct. AR is also different in the encouragement of commenting - unlike others blogs that don't get many comments. That's what makes AR so awesome!

Melissa - thank you very much and welcome to AR! I look forward to rreading your blog posts!

I received an email from Alison Creamer just a few minutes ago and with her permission, am posting it here:

I read your AR post ! Was that me ? Did I use my web tag line on your blog ? Maybe Im self reflecting or thinking guilty. I went and looked at many AR comments and I dont see how people "sign" their names to the fields. Then my mind went racing and thought OMG I always put my company name and site. When I read your post I thought hum did I do something wrong ? Just wanted to say if I dids let me know.

But then again maybe I did not ?

Alison - some may disagree; however, I do not feel that placing a link back to yourself is offensive at all. What I feel breaks the rules is blatantly "self-promoting" ones site and/or services without providing any insight or benefit to the originial post. For example, I wrote a post once about writing a profile. A person who specializes in writing profiles commented, then re-wrote my profile using her skills and thus, promoted herself. Because there was a benefit to me and to other commenters, I have no problem with this. Her post was insightful and also, very positive.

An example: Great post Tina! By the way, if anyone reading this is looking for administrative assistance, please check out my profile and contact me to discuss your needs.

That would be a self-promoting post that would send me to the AR confessional.

There are many blogs I read but don't comment on. Often that's because someone or many someones have already said what I was going to say. I feel like if I say "I agree with so and so..." people will think I'm simply commenting for points. But this is a good list to remind us to use our manners! Thanks!

But #6 can make it SOOO interesting! :-)

Diana - you must say 10 Hail Mary's today for that post!

Amy - you are so correct. You don't HAVE to comment!

LOL! Yes ma'am.

Tina It is good to have a refresher occasionally especially for those who think they own a territory or an idea. Karen

Tina,

Thanks for the great post. I do find myself commenting a lot, but if you check my points I do not have many.......In fact I do not even know what the points mean.....I just love getting educated by the blogs. In my business I need to know how the professionals think and work. The funny thing is just a few short months ago I did not even know what a blog was. In fact my children get quite a kick out of the thought of me blogging.

Happy Monday!!

Lori

Tina,

This probably comes under # ten, but Thou shalt keep comments shorter than posts!!! Thanks, Fran

Great post Tina - and a needed one. I remember so vividly when I first joined AR and was leaving comments with my banner hyperlinked =... I really didn't know that was breaking the 1st commandment of the community until a fellow blogger let me know. You've done it nicely... it should also be posted on the AR for Newbies group!

Your Raleigh Realtors

Tina, I have never promoted myself on someone else's blog. Interesting, I was watching a webinar for SEO optimization and the house was saying how no one ever puts their website in the remarks that this was a place for the search engines to find you. He didn't understand why people didn't do this. I was not logged in, to say anything, but think I might shoot him an email today.

All very true, thanks for your honesty.

That's great! I especially like #1

It must be me, but I'm running into a lot of posts on the subject of what NOT to do. That being said, I don't think you can say it enough. Everyday there are more and more newbies to AR, and if posts like these aren't visable, they may not get the message.

I like your graphic. An your sense of humor, especially #6. OMG! Some people are angry and or drunk?!? LOL

TIna you got alot of comments before this one theres one more commandment i would say speak your mind even if the writer doesnt agree. this will give the writer some feed back on what others might think or felt on the actual blog. Great post

Tina - I am fairly new to blogging and find the summary you provided was great information. Thank you for sharing.

Can you make sure people read this before they are allowed to comment? SelfPromotion has its place - not on my facebook wall either! lol

Hello Tina,

Great blogs and wonderful commandments. I won't promote my site but can I copy yours? I'd like to share this one.

This is a great post! I would like to add one more commandent: Thou shall be gentle with corrective comments. I'm relatively new to blogging and Active Rain and I know I have really appreciated the kindness shown by some of the senior bloggers when pointing out my faux pax! And bristled at the less gentle.

And, I agree that this would be a great 'newbies' post!

Tina - this is a great list and we can all use the reminders, perhaps some folks more than others. When folks have spammed me I usually write them offline adn request that they change it and explain why. If it's a spammer, I delete it but put a note in to them in my own comment about whay I deleted the comment and requesting they not spam me or others in AR in the future. Not sure if it works but it makes me feel better.

Jeff

Great reminder. So many people are just learning about the art of blogging and don't have a clue as to the correctness or the protocol. I am forwarding your post and advice to some new kids on the block in my neighborhood, hopefully it will be as insightful to them as it was for me a reminder. Thanks!!

Hi Tina,

That's a nice list you've got. I definitely think there are a few people out there who need to read this! #2 is a pet peeve of mine- often times I will pass the comments section in order to leave a comment of my own and I see someone who simply writes "Good point" or "Nice Blog" *Shakes head* I guess if they want to be known as THAT GUY, then go ahead, I like to comment and actually say something!

And I do home that by seld promotion you don't mean what I happen to do at the bottom of all of my blog comments, (See below and let me know so I can correct the comment sins that I may be committing)

Thanks for sharing, Nicole Weidauer

The Egerer & Weidauer Team, Keller Williams Realty North Seattle (I hope this is alright! :) )

Are these just Commandments to follow, or more Government control. Or maybe we should put government in control of AR.....so they can screw that up too....hehehe

I am violating your 9th commandment but do you ever break one of your own commandments? I wonder if others have their own list of the 10 commandments of blogging.

I appreciate it when people comment on my blogs.

I don't care if they are doing it for the points are not.

Tina,

I completely agree with #9. Don't comment if you won't put your name on it.

Tina - you write an excellent post here. I have found that I am writing longer comments on each post. I think it is a way to engage with the writer of that post. I see some advertising in comments, and some who just comment for points.

This topic has done a good job of helping you build your site.

The chicken tracks on the side are a little busy though..

Most of the Ten Commandments could be summed up in one "ACT PROFESSIONAL".

Not always the case with Realtors, buyers or sellers.

On a last note, I would assume millions of posts to AR have been made with a glass of wine involvled.

Keep up the good work.

P.S. Sorry about the Noles beating VT on Sat. Go Noles..

Tina -- these are helpful reminders for those new to A/R as well as more seasoned members who have forgotten the basics. My pet peeve is finding generic comments like "House looks great, good luck selling it" and then I see that same comment on several others that day!

Great post Tina. 9 is my biggest pet peeve. I recently discovered AR added a "Allow Non-Member Comments" check box in the settings and I un-checked it. Most non-member comments I have received on my posts have either been spam or rude.

How about "Thou shall NOT have a HUGE biz card with all your contact info and post it along with your comment". This is one of my pet peeves.

Keith Plagerism- appoligizing for something that your not really sorry for.

Lets get those signed in blood! lol...great words to live by here at the Rain.

The only one I disagree with is #6 as sometimes when one feels emotional or angry about a topic, commenting about it can spark a great discussion and lead to some resolutions... I don't think we should be afraid to be controversial - thanks for the thoughtful post!

Tina,

That is a helpful list to say the least. My favorite comments so far, are the welcome to activerain comments, which were originally nice, but now are getting a little out of hand, but I digress..

A very good list. Thank you.

Sean

Ha. Good rules. I like #6. Sometimes I think people are angry & even drunk when I read their comments. KM

Connie - you have #11 - I love that one!

Misty - you are right. I need to use that button more often too!

Maureen - you mean other people get that comment too????

Keith - those are turkey tracks! Go Hokies!

Sharon - congrats on learning the art of engagement!

Brenda - and that's ok on AR where "minimalist" commenting is welcome.

Nicole - my opinion is that putting your name, your company and where you are from isn't a violation of the self-promotion commandment.

Suzanne - thanks for passing it along!

Jeff - I think you handle the issue perfectly!

Lynn - thank you. I'll add it to the newbies group.

Marian - absolutely! Thank you very much.

Kim - you are right! I hate it when it's on my facebook wall too - or a reply to a Twitter comment!

Dawn - welcome and I hope to see you more often!

Marianne - I have a feeling there is more drinking and commenting going on than we may know about....

Karen - so, what's your point? Are you telling me I can't own Virginia???? he he!

Lori - what a great attitude you have! Nice to see you here!

Fran - I like it! That's a GREAT Commandment!

Lee & Pamela - thanks for the suggestion. I'll post it there today.

Audrey - I am so surprised they would say that. Keep me posted on how they respond to your email!

Jay and James - thank you very much for reading and commenting!

How about:

thou shalt not use AR's Contact Form to send spam or solicitations to AR Members.

Great post! I like the turkey tracks, btw. :)

Great Post...much needed wake up for some....But I think you will have problem's with #6 as you have described very popular states of posting. :)

You know Tina, I always wonder if my comments contribute, have any merit, or are even read by the person I'm sending it to. Is the relevancy of a comment worth the time spent? I do appreciate your commandments!

Tina, I like it. You did a good job putting it together. I also like the picture you used.

I'm going to say "thou shall not be stupid".

When #8 does happen, what do you find yourself doing to steer things back on track?

Ah, very good Tina, thanks. I think a lot of people do comment either to gain points or promote something. I enjoy reading posts that are of interest and sharing my two cents...

yes, I would call it the twenty commandments, your short a few...

Well I guess your making a point and hopefully it's well taken. I like #6 and have sat down with a bottle of my favorite wine but thought better of blogging.

Tina, great post; we all need to be aware of why and how we comment; I think a good rule of thumb is to try and comment first on those people who've also commented on your stuff, out of courtesy and respect. Again, thanks for the nice post:)

Maybe freedom of speech should be ammended to only common sense comments. You have to wonder who is going to be the judge. Just throwing in an idea once you start telling people how to express themselves you never know where it ends.

You made some great points however in being able to comment with common sense and courteous replies. Some great comments are made when people are upset with things.

Hi Tina ... I had a member do the same thing to me twice. The first time I deleted the comment, and the second time I flagged it as spam. It never happened again. I went through 13 years of Catholic schooling. I agree with Eric B. about freedom of speech and expression though. It really boils down to respecting others ... treating them as you would like to be treated. Thanks for the post!

Tina - great post - love the graphic and I do agree with your points. But I agree with previous comment sometimes you need to rant with the person you feel like is on the same track as you! This is one spot we can let each other spew a little - love your "Hokie" tracks!!!!

Thanks!

Tina, Thanks for the refresher! this a social network which hopes to attract other business professionals to work with. I find the comments are the most telling..on who we choose to follow and would without question refer business too. Make ridiculous comments and you have shown your hand...you are what you say..be careful or be judged your choice. Steve

Hi Tina, You did a great job with this post. Clear and to the point! I love your scroll, very clever. I am with the Raleigh Realtors I think this would be great info for any new rainers. Don't wan't to break #10 so ... bye!

Tina - I love # 6 - LOL Drinking and blogging do not seem to go hand in hand:) You forgot to mention RECIPROCATION - there are lots of folks who seem to forget about the concept.

Tina- I've had some of my best thoughts and comments after a few cocktails, so can I maybe be excluded from that one. The rest I'm good with following.

Etiquette question. Is it appropriate to comment on a comment or should all comments be addressed strictly as though there were no other comments?

Hi Tina...It's amazing. No matter how many times we are reminded of our guidelines, there are always some that either do not understand or forget.

Thanks for the reminder. Hopefully, more folks will heed the advice. You made it very easy to understand.

Kate

Tina, great post. I think the secret to being a good blogger is being a good commentor...

other Bloggers cam erase my comments? I hope not! I made a comment on Bob's whiteboard explaination of Listing Router, checked it and then when I went back to show my husband what I said it was gone - can this happen? AND I don't wnat to "break the rules" or be rude out of igonrance

OCT

2008

Some of these "commandments" come about once people have been on AR long enough to understand the rules. I know I broke a few at the beginning.

Tina-

I enjoyed your list. Comments show a lot about a person's character. Out of the abundance of the heart a man speaketh!

I love this! You make me wish I had 4 years of something to curb my acid tongue (LOL). This is oh so cool. Excellent talking points with a very interesting commentary thread. Read every single one of 'em I am sooooo linking back to you later when I finish my turtle run. My readers will love this! I certainly do. Enjoy your day. Regards, C. ;-)

We used to be able to edit comments on our blogs.. we could remove the links that made it comment spam. On my own blog I can...most outside blogs the blogger has control. There is a great discussion that Maureen Francis started about what mischief could be wrought because we had this ability. AR changed it.

I think mostly it comes down to being respectful. Some can probably be respectful in comments after a few drinks or when angry... some of us are more challenged by that and need to stay away from the computer when our judgement is impaired.

Great information - maybe you need to go back to confession :)

Thanks again!

Hi Tina - I would have also added "thou shall not blog and then turn off commenting." How arrogant. It's also bad mannors. BTW...you CAN recover from Catholic school...it just takes years! Thanks for sharing.

I like number 6...there is actually a group for that. I do some of my best posts under the influence...only kidding!

Just reading and reading and never commenting is not what it should be about either...If you care enough about the subject/blogger to read it ...take the time to make a comment.

Thou shalt not forget to reciprocate. I did a little test the other day and left comments on 20 blogs of people I didn't know. I left a comment and told the person it was nice to meet them-- only a couple of people reciprocated.

@ Joan Whitebook: That really whomps. A simple thank you would have been nice.

@ Sally & David: I confess that I am a recreational reader and habitually do not always comment on what I read. On the flip side, I am a serial commenter (LOL). I've been known to park and bring a few friends along for the high-jacking chat.

LOL @ Neal Bloom: some of my bests laughs have been from people who forget not to drink and blog. :-)

@ Greg Gorman: I am sooooo with you on that. Turning off the comments makes people go to writers they can engage in and tends to make me not return to a writer who it appears is wasting my time. I'm here to learn and interact, not read ads and diatribes I can not respond to.

Hi Tina! :-)

Advertising themselves on my post is one thing that is most irritating.

If they are local, I simply BLEEP!

I don't have time to contact them and beg them to remove the links. Many want to argue the matter anyway and I don't suffer fools . . . . . .

Out of town folks don't bother me as much because they aren't competitors.

I am a blogging newbie and have learned so much from this post & the comments. Thanks so much!

If people want to advertise their services, I have no personal problem with some shameless self-promotion , if it doesnt disrupt the discussion, selling ourselves is what we are all here for (mostly)

Tina,

Great idea to command the way everyone comments here on AR, but both you and I know that commandments were meant to be broken... and crazy as it seems, not everyone will follow them! Now me for instance, 8 years of Catholic school, so I'm following the rules! ;0)

Can we make blog sticky's? If so, this blog should be posted permenantly somewhere accessible to everyone.

Good point about not commenting when a person is angry or upset. Many times, I've forced myself to hit the delete button and it was always a good decision.

I saw some 7's and 8's yesterday. I'm new, but will try to remember all the do and do not's.

Thanks for the list

Thanks for the refresher. I especially like that Robert J Russel commented on your blog with an ad for his site. I wonder if he actually read your post.

Broken a few already. Busted one or two

I believe what Robert has is called a a signature line.

I put one on all my correspondence. I'll have one on here like some of the pros as soon as I figure out how to do it. So far, I've been doing the old cut-and-paste bit.

As far as writing when you're upset, etc .. . . .

Write it like you'll be running for office in a few years. If it turns up later, will it bite you?

Let's don't forget that there are a lot of new members.

I am reading more and more posts that have so much misinformation in the posts as well as in the comments that this should be emailed to the newbies......did you post it to the group for newbies?

AMEN to that! Great post Tina.

Great point and everyone should read the blog before they post , no just the title but the whole blog

OCT

2008

I get alot of people commenting with shameless plugs too, great list here Tina and congrats on the feature :)

NOV

2008

This post is exactly on time for me! I'm usually always just reading posts without commenting, but now I just want to comment all the time... SOOO glad to have read this at this point in my blogging and commenting life!

NOV

2008

I hope I am not "stealing" didn't have time to read all your responses...Mine is AMEN.

NOV

2008

LOL, that is great... these should be posted for all to read in AR and followed. Thanks for the list.

Joey - you are very welcome and thank you for commenting!

Nancy - you are not stealing at all - thanks!

Myra - so happy to see you here!

NOV

2008

Tina - Very good post. Wish more people would honor #6 - I have seen some doosies lately and reported them to AR. One person wrote all about his wife and the person she was having an affair with, names names and used the 'f' word about fifteen times in the post. How someone posts something like that on Active Rain, I will never understand!

NOV

2008

hmmm... I think #6 might be a problem for me... but there should be a few moments in the day when I am not angry, upset, drunk or emotional.. I'll try to save my comments until then. This was a great post-- and I am your 100th comment- that is great feedback!

MRS team

NOV

Jennifer - I LOVE that you are my 100th comment!

Lisa - wow - blogging is not a replacement for a therpist!

Justin - thank you very much and you know that you are the exception to that rule. YOU can always plug yourself on my blog!

James and John - thank you very much for reading and commenting!

Julie - yes, this went to the newbies!

Mike - I like that..."comment like you will be running for office in a few years; will it come back to bite you?"

Hi Tina, thanks for posting these fine blogging rules to live by. I especially like #7.

Keep on bloggin'

I like and agree with them all. Especially number 6, it is the equivalent of drunk dialing. I also really, really like number 7 but sadly I don't think Closed-Minded-Know-it-alls know that they are Closed-Minded-Know-it-alls.

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