I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!

Do you remember that late 1980's commercial for Life Alert?  You know the one.  

It’s that “As Seen On TV” product where you just press a button and help is on the way to save you.

 

Perhaps you know it better as the commercial where poor Mrs. Fletcher has fallen and she can’t get up?!!!

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!

Sure you do!

And do you remember how you used to laugh and poke fun with your friends every time one of them fell?

“Look, Johnny’s fallen and he can’t get up!!!”  

C’mon. You’ve used that line before. Admit it. I know I have…and on numerous occasions too!

Well those days are over my friends.  I am so NOT making fun of that lady anymore!

Here’s why:

Tonight, as I was grazing on my salad, a disrespectful piece of cucumber went down the wrong way. No big deal, I was still breathing. So I just coughed a few times and all was fine.

Disrespectful Cucumber


Well, later this same evening, I was lying on the couch watching a documentary about the history of the paper clip (yes, I can be boring at times); eating pretzels off my belly like an otter, when all of a sudden I was really choking.

Behold. The Pretzel! The king of snack foods!

 

 

Otters are semi-aquatic (or in one case aquatic) fish-eating mammals. The otter subfamily Lutrinae forms part of the family Mustelidae, which also includes weasels, polecats, badgers, as well as others. With thirteen species in seven genera, otters have an almost worldwide distribution. They mainly eat aquatic animals, predominantly fish and shellfish, but also other invertebrates, amphibians, birds and small mammals.





I live alone, so I couldn’t shout out to anyone. I was choking for God’s sake so I couldn’t really shout anyway!

 

 

 

Hack, sputter, wheeze!

 

Well, it was at that moment I started thinking about that stupid commercial. It’s funny how the craziest things pop into your mind at the strangest of times.

So here I am thinking that this is how it all ends for me: Choking on my favorite snack food, the pretzel.

And in my last few remaining moments, I designed my tombstone and made a pact with myself that I will never make fun of poor Mrs. Fletcher again……..

Dying Thought 1

Dying Thought 2

Dying Thought 3

OK, who am I fooling? Anyone who knows me, knows that I think that commercial is freaking hysterical! I’m laughing my butt off watching it over and over again!

 I’m thinking I can’t wait till one of my friends takes a spill so I can break out the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” line on them!

And now you can too! I’ve included a YouTube video of that commercial just for you!

Oh, and about the pretzel that got stuck in my throat…….It was all a ruse. I just needed a literary vehicle to compose this blog around so I could immortalize Mrs. Fletcher one more time! And that disrespectful cucumber…that part was true. But let’s just say one of us is getting pickled tonight!

Enjoy the video!

 

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Craig Rutman is a North Carolina Residential Real Estate Specialist that can assist you with the purchase and/or sale of real estate in the Raleigh - Cary – Apex metro areas; or any place else in the country by connecting you with a relocation professional in your destination of choice.

To find all available homes for sale in the Triangle area of North Carolina, please visit www.justnchomes.com

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Craig's Raleigh, Cary, Apex and Wake County Real Estate Blog...and Other Assorted Musings!

 
Post is included in group: AR Comedy Club
Post is included in group: Club Chaos
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Post is included in group: OFF TOPIC Goofing Off Club
Post is included in group: "Whacked"!!!

64 Comments on I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up!

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

OCT
29
2008
905,565 Points 93 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Mandi - I get strange looks from people who ARE deadheads too! I'm an equal opportunity offender! Oh, and I'm a mullet free kind of guy!

7:29pm • #45
2 Featured Posts

Craig: Those aren't deadheads....they're really dead, okay. You are a dying breed.

7:33pm • #46
905,565 Points 93 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Cecily - They're dancing bears! Get it right! Pandas are black and white and don't rock out to America's own Grateful Dead. If you get confused listen to the music play......Enjoy!

7:40pm • #47
2 Featured Posts

Craig: Sorry....like it "barely" makes a difference? Linda is the one that mentioned Panda's. But, they're still bears. Have you had this bear fetish long? Something just not right about a grown man with a bear background on his Blog page.

7:48pm • #48
905,565 Points 93 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Cecily - Oh it makes a difference! But nice play on words there! I "barely" noticed it at first! And Linda, after all these years as my business partner and friend, should know better. I'll deal with her tomorrow! I'll break into a corny joke fest that'll make her hair hurt!

7:53pm • #49
2 Featured Posts

Craig: I was afraid you would miss it. That why I highlighted it....LOL. Hope you don't make her "unbearable" tomorrow. Okay, I'm moving on from the bear topic.

7:57pm • #50
222,909 Points 6 Featured Posts
Okay guys, I leave this little conversation for an hour to go to a yoga class, and now I'M the one being harassed!!! And yes, I know they're not pandas, I just saw someone else earlier in this comment line mention Pandas, so I just stuck with that idea. Craig wearing dancing bear shirts- well, I have to admit he only wears it to a Dead type concert where everyone (hopefully) will get it. You have to admire a man who wears a bear shirt, he has to be pretty confident about himself. Hmmm- I don't remember ANY good jokes for today either! You're driving tomorrow Craig, so you'll have to keep the jokes to a BARE minimum or I'll give you wrong directions and we'll end up in Chatham county where we'll run into real bears- and they won't be dancing either.
8:26pm • #51
905,565 Points 93 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Linda - I'll bring my passport because I can't guarantee that the jokes won't be flying!

8:35pm • #52
2 Featured Posts

Whoo Hoo! Passport! Road trip! I call shotgun!

8:44pm • #53
OCT
30
2008

ok...that was funny! I must know one thing...how did you create those tomb stones? I want one of my own. 

1:09pm • #54
905,565 Points 93 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Melissa - Hey Melissa! Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. Those tombstones were created at www.imagechef.com. I'd love to see what you create.

1:29pm • #55

Craig, thanks for posting this blog.  It's funny as heck!!  I got such a huge kick out of it that I decided to bookmark it so that I can refer to it in the future when I need a big laugh or a huge mental pick-me-up.   I just can't get over it --- I mean the fact that I have access to this commercial again.  I haven't seen it in years.   I use to laugh my head off watching Mrs. Fletcher lying on the floor and saying, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up."  Oh, it was too hilarious. I guess you can tell this AR newbie has a mildly twisted sense of humor, huh? 

Well, anyway, just wanted to say thanks for the great post!  I loved it!!!!

7:48pm • #56
905,565 Points 93 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Tracy - So glad you dropped on by and enjoyed this blog! I'm guessing by now you've discovered my mind is a little twisted as well! But it's all in good fun......No humans or animals were hurt in the making of this blog!

 

7:53pm • #57
OCT
31
2008
531,240 Points 33 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

I'm still laughing......10 minutes later...........eating a pretzel off my belly like an otter......lol........Craig......rflol........you're one funny guy.......(big grin)

1:15am • #58
905,565 Points 93 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Liz - I hope you've pulled yourself together by now! So glad to have made you "rflol"!!!

7:53am • #59
NOV
03
2008

Craig-I remember when I was a teenager and we had an ice storm here. I saw a lady slip and slide on her butt and I laughed at her. I didn't really mean to, it just came out when I saw her sliding on her butt across the ice. Well, what goes around, comes around. The very same day, I was walking up our steps and I got to the third step and my foot went off the step and I fell off of the steps. I scratched my leg pretty bad and I was sore for a couple of days afterwards. I try my best (I really do) not to laugh at other people when something happens. But you know, there are times that old giggle box will let you down and you just can't help yourself.

7:05pm • #60
905,565 Points 93 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Laura - You know it's all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye......then it's hysterical!!! just kidding of course. Sometimes we just laugh at the wrong times. It's part of life.

7:13pm • #61

Craig-I think the worst place I ever got tickled and couldn't stop giggling was at church many years ago. I was standing beside my cousin and we were sharing a song book and as we were singing, rain started dropping on the song book from the ceiling. I whispered to my cousin as she was singing-drip drop, drip drop and the next thing I knew she was giggling hysterically and naturally it got me started too. No, we didn't get kicked out, but we sure got some wierd looks.

7:42pm • #62
905,565 Points 93 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Laura - Perfect example of right laugh, wrong place! I could see that happening!

7:49pm • #63
2 Featured Posts

Laura: I can top that...My Sister and I broke out in hysterical laughter at my Aunt's funeral. Not good...especially when you are sitting in the family section. I tried to cover by acting like I was sobbing. Don't think anyone bought it though. Ahhh....embarrassing moments...gotta love em!

8:10pm • #64

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Craig Rutman Raleigh/ Cary/ Apex area Realtor

Cary, NC

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