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Putting People Back Together One Piece At A Time

By Gary Woltal

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

October 28, 2008 01:29 PM

Whether we are Realtors, Stagers, Loan Officers, Inspectors, Title Company Escrow Officers or others working in the housing industry I sometimes think that the work is mainly a vehicle just to interact with people in life. You could be shining shoes and it would be the same thing.

Namely we are in many instances Putting People Back Together One Piece At A Time.

What I mean by that is that under the surface many people have broken lives of one sort or another. We may be this way ourselves. Pain, grief, divorce, stress, significant problems of health, finance or relationship. We all are human. But as we interact with our clients they become real. They are not ONLY there to find that house. True, we are not marriage counselors or financial advisors, but we are this - LISTENERS.

Old Person Every one has a story to tell, whether they be young and energetic or in the twilight of their years. There are always stories of pain if you hang around long enough. Life has its natural share of bumps and bruises.

By being a good listener, an interesting thing takes place. Healing. The broken pieces seem to come together better. What was the fractured becomes sewn back together. I have heard stories from buyers on the second trip looking at houses of three family members who drowned in a lake. And this from smiling faces in my vehicle. The pain was there. Talking about it completely helped.

If you are a Stager or Inspector and have these tangential conversations off business with clients, be patient with them and LISTEN. Respond with a few questions to probe a bit deeper and go back into a significant listener mode. Healing, trust me, takes place. Pieces go back together, one at a time.

It isn't that hard to be caring in the world. Some of it just takes slowing down, opening your eyes, keeping quiet and listening carefully with both ears. Look into another's eyes. Read in your mind what you see. Putting people back together is about love.

They will know with you that they have found a safe place to land.

THEY WILL HAVE FOUND IN YOU A FRIEND

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Debe Maxwell, CRS

Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC

The RIGHT CHARLOTTE REALTOR!

Hi Gary! You're absolutely right about being a listener--the best part of being a listener is learning about others. So many would prefer to talk, talk, talk and they just don't know what they're missing!

Oct 28, 2008 03:21 PM

Gary Woltal

Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Hi Russ: It all is about being the servant, or having a servant's heart.

Christopher and Stephanie: Listening shows caring.

Justin: Slowing down is the key to the beginning of listening.

Donna Schoby: What a great open ended question to delve into the why behind the selling.

William: Listening indeed does make you a great conversationalist.

Chuck: There is much hurting beneath the surface.

Lizette: I believe that not an accident happening too.

Jennifer: Patience is a key to with us slowing down to listen.

Eric: Now you take your talents and help people. That is great with your listening abilities.

Hi Pat: Awesome commenting with graphics. You are very impressive. Listening and being a friend to someone really means a lot. Don't wear yourself out with the blogging AND the outside stuff. Everything in balance Pat.

Margaret: A true blessing to call a client a friend.

Ilyce: The great helpers we are out there in society.

Donna Bigda: There is more to this than just houses for sure.

Robyn: Our prejudging people without listening gets us in the most trouble sometimes. I'm glad you took time to listen to the landscaper. What a terrific story.

Hi Debe: You are right. You learn the MOST when you are quiet.

Oct 28, 2008 03:58 PM

Lynda Eisenmann

Preferred Home Brokers - Brea, CA

Broker Associate ,CRS,GRI,SRES, Brea,CA, Orange Co

Hey Gary,

You know it's another "one" mouth "two" ears reminder that we were created perfectly. THANKS!

Oct 28, 2008 04:04 PM

Cathy Lee

CL Design Services Home Staging - Danville, CA

ASP, IAHSP, RESA Danville, CA

AWWWW!! My sisters and her husbands wedding song!! Timely post for me as I am staging a home this week for a lovely couple who have medical problems and are moving to the East Coast near their son-leaving their home after 40 years. This is a stressful move and I am working with electric scooters, medical equipment-etc and such loving people....that need respect, TIME, understanding and friendship!

Oct 28, 2008 04:19 PM

Gary Woltal

Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Lynda: Great view on the perfection of creation.

Cathy: Your story is the perfect example for the loving listening and friendship you have fostered with these folks.

Oct 28, 2008 04:26 PM

Arina Hanciulescu

RealtyPros - Las Vegas, NV

RealtyPros

There is nothing more comforting and pleasant then to feel someone is listening to you. Even in total silence, just the feeling that someone is listening!... Has great power. "The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." - Ralph Nichols

Oct 28, 2008 06:19 PM

Terrylynn Fisher

Dudum Real Estate Group - BuyStageSell.com - Walnut Creek, CA

HAFA Certified, EcoBroker, CRS, CSP Realtor, Etc.

I do a piece for Realtors about how many hats do they wear. It is a good talk and really just emphasizes the many qualities, depth and skill level needed to do our work, a good job at it anyway and of course, therapist, counsellor and confidante are right up there on the list. People just want to deal with real people who sincerely put their interests first. And, if we do our job well, and do that from the heart, they are loyal beyond measure and will refer their friends and family for that caring and comforting experience. It is always stressful to purchase or sell a home, and even when good stress, can test the metal of anyone. It pays for us to remember we can be the leveling and balancing and compassionate guide for their journey. It is our duty to treat them with human kindness, provide our skill and competence and give of ourselves.

Oct 28, 2008 08:34 PM

Susie Blackmon

Ocala, FL

Ocala, Horses, Western Wear, Horse Farms, Marketing

How come I tend to listen more to hunky guys in tight blue jeans and cowboy boots?? (Just kidding... I am way too irreverent.)

Oct 28, 2008 09:34 PM

Petra Norris

Lakeland Real Estate Group, Inc. - Lakeland, FL

Realtor, Lakeland FL Homes for Sale

Gary - I took a speech class once and the first thing we were told at that time that "Listening" is the key ingredient in any job. Some real estate agents forget that.

Oct 29, 2008 02:06 AM

Chris Ann Cleland

Long and Foster Real Estate - Gainesville, VA

Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Gary: There is something about moving from one home to another that can unearth that emotional stuff in people. I am 100% convinced that those fans we have out there that refer us business, do so because of the way we treated them, not the great deal or smooth transaction we worked for them. Listening is just another component of that. People need to know we care.

Oct 29, 2008 02:20 AM

Vicki Pedersen

Pedersen Real Estate - Riverside, CA

Providing Exceptional Real Estate Service

Gary, This is really a beautiful post. I'm so glad that I read it. I couldn't agree with you more about how important it is to take the time to listen to people. It is so easy, in our busy lives and careers, to be distracted - thinking about what else needs to be done today - and we miss opportunities to be that listener that someone needs. Thanks for posting.

Oct 29, 2008 02:40 AM

Jason Sardi

Auto & Home & Life Insurance throughout North Carolina - Charlotte, NC

Your Agent for Life

Gary - Here you go again, writing a post chalk full of psychology and inspirataion. Depending upon your speaking skills, you'd make one heck on a Motivational Speaker... or at least writer. You may want to contact Mr. Anthony Robbins. This sums up a large part of what we do quite nicely.

Oct 29, 2008 03:15 AM

JL Boney, III

Coldwell Banker - Columbia, SC

Columbia, SC Real Estate

Some days I'm not sure if I am a Realtor or a therapist, but since I have always thought either one would be a good thing for me to do, now I get the best of both worlds.

Oct 29, 2008 03:19 AM

Gary Woltal

Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Hi Arina: Great quote, and listening, really listening, has to be one of the highest forms of respect to another. They will just gravitate toward you when you are a great listener.

Terrylynn: Skill PLUS our compassion is definitely where it is at and that makes us EXCELLENT in this field.

Hi Susie: I like your irreverence. Now I know your taste in men : ) You have to first grab the audience's attention you know.

Petra: Half if not over half of a conversation is listening. Yet people think conversation is talking.

Chris Ann: Completely true. They come back to us because we "care."

Vicki: A lot of not being distracted is slowing down.

Hi Jason: Writing and speaking are just some hats I wear. I am just not one to be pinned down to one thing. It is just who I am, but thanks for the compliment.

Hi J L: You too, where many hats.

Oct 29, 2008 03:25 AM

Sharon Paxson

Sharon Paxson, Realtor® EQTY Forbes Global Properties - Newport Beach, CA

Newport Beach Real Estate

Gary - you are so right - under every exterior is some pain. And I think it shows a lot of those people are willing to open up and confide in you. I have had people share their lives with me as well, and it definitely helps you to connect with each other.

Oct 29, 2008 04:04 AM

Joan Mirantz

Homequest Real Estate - Concord, NH

Realtor, GRI, CBR, SRES - Concord New Hampshire

Gary...as we go through this coming year I think we will need to be reminded of this frequently! Beautiful post!

Oct 29, 2008 08:06 AM

Elizabeth Nieves

The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group - Durham, NC

Bilingual Raleigh - Durham North Carolina Real Estate Team

I remember when I first started my interior design business, I learned right away that I was in people's homes for more than just decorating them. In such a short time, they were sharing their pain with me...and somehow just being able to share helped them. I think that is when I first understood that ministry has nothing to do with church or being a pastor...that each one of us is called to 'minister' to those around us. GBU, Gary!

Oct 29, 2008 08:25 AM

Laura Watts

Positive Properties, LLC - Laurinburg, NC

Gary-This is a powerful post. I have a friend that if you look at her or be around her, you would think she had no problems or worries. She always carries a smile for everyone. But I know different. She is one strong lady and has been through so much in her life. She covers her pain with a smile and laughter. She is an inspiration to all who meet her.

I try to remember when talking with people that you don't know what they have been through or what they are going through. Just like they don't know what I am going through.

Thank you again for another great post. You are an INSPIRATION TO OTHERS YOURSELF.

Oct 29, 2008 05:37 PM

Mara Hawks

First Realty Auburn - Auburn, AL

Inactive-2012 REALTOR - Homes for Sale Auburn Real Estate, AL

hey Gary, some remarkable points and posting here! I used to talk to my kids about being a best friend to everyone, rather than thinking you just had one... we do need to be so aware of the opportunity each moment, that we have to BE a friend... Thank you for your deep strentgh and inspiration that you share.

Oct 29, 2008 09:53 PM

Jo-Anne Smith

Oakville, ON

Gary,

Listening does have enormous healing powers in it....often someone feels so much better just by sharing the load that is on their mind. We are very fortunate if we have friends that we are able to share with in this way and our clients learn to trust us due to our listening skills.

thank you for spreading your words of wisdom once more...

Oct 30, 2008 12:42 PM