True   Friendship  --  None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good,

But never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card --  Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship. 

1. When you are sad --  I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in. 

4. When you are scared -- I will rag you about it every chance I get until you're NOT.

5.. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.

7. When you are sick --  Stay the hell away from me until you are well again.  I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy arse, but I'll help you up.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;

because you are my friend.

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Gail Gladstone

Long Island Business Brokerage