Oregon humor. Happy Friday!

You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.

You use the statement "sun break" and know what it means.

You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.

You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.

You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.

You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the "Walk" signal.

You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.

You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon. ( I do)

You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima, and Willamette.

You know how to pronounce Couch Street and Park.

You know that there really is a enchanted forest

You know secret code words for places to go, The cove, The Pit, The Ape Caves, Witches Castle.

You consider swimming an indoor sport.

In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark-while only working eight-hour days.

You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.

You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."

You have no concept of humidity without precipitation

You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.

You know how to camp, hike, ski or snowboard.

You know the difference from a cougar, bobcat, and a mountain lion.

You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.

You notice, "The mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.

You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.

You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.

You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.

You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or people from california

You buy new sunglasses every year, because you cannot find the old ones after such a long time.

You measure distance in hours.

You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.

You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).

"Vacation" means going to Portland for the weekend.

Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through a rain storm without flinching.

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables in your pickup and your wife knows how to use them.

There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Bi-Mart store at any given time.

Driving is better in the winter because almost everybody stays home.

You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.

It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.

You blame everything that's not right on ex-Californians.

You know what and when the Columbus Day storm was. Bonus for having been there.

You go to a coffee bar and see two guys get into a fight over who makes the best India Pale Ale.

You own more than 10 articles of clothing that have microbreweries/brewpubs printed on them. Bonus for embroidered stuff.

You can recount more than five anecdotes about why the East Side is a crime-infested jungle
... OR ...
You can list more than five reasons why the West Side is a boring, snobby, white-bread suburb.

You know what is in between the East Side and the West Side, and how to pronounce it.

You are sitting at a red light surrounded by Subaru Legacy Outbacks.

A tree or mudslide has ever damaged your house or car.***Forest

You live equidistant to a symphony hall, a winery, and a volcano.

Your children learned to walk in Birkenstocks.

You complain about Californians as you sell your house to one for twice as much as you originally paid.

You only honk your horn if collision is imminent and never for anything else.

You consider something a "hill" (not a mountain) if it doesn't have snow on it or has not recently erupted, regardless of its altitude.

You consider "etiquette" a foreign word.

You find a wallet with $500 and give it back to the owner.

You used to live somewhere else but won't admit it publicly.

You know a bride & groom that registered at REI.

If someone ran your car off the highway, you might drown.

You'd be pissed if the store was out of your favorite brand of water.

Every day is casual Friday.

Hear the word "ferry" and think of boats and long waits.

Know at least eight people who work for Intel or Nike, or used to work for Tektronix.

You think skiing always means being covered from head to toe, in snow or water.

Have ever called your insurance agent to ask if your homeowner�s policy covers falling trees, flooding, or mud slides

You got your senior pictures done with Carole Meyer.

You believe swimming is not a sport but a survival skill to prevent boating deaths.

Obey all traffic laws except "keep right unless passing."

Are amazed by an accurate weather forecast.

You think downtown is "scary" because you were panhandled there....once...

You know that Burgerville has the best hamburgers...ever.

You have only used 5 main freeways/highways: I-5, 217, 205, 26, and 84.

You know that Kindergarten Cop and The Goonies were filmed in Astoria and Cannon Beach, respectively.

You know where Astoria is.

You think that the Beach is the best place to go for vacation, or just for a day off.

You love going to the Original Pancake House....because its original....

You take pride in Lewis and Clark and know who Sacagawea is.

Were excited when the Crater lake, Oregon quarter came out.

You love The Shins...because they live here.

You love the Decemberists....because they are from here...and live here.

You never go to the Tigard theater anymore since they built Bridgeport.

You think Bridgeport has terrible parking.

You went to Washington Square....just to eat lunch at Panda Express...or Scoozi.

you love the smell of rain.

you are the only person in the line at the grocery store who asks for paper, not plastic (because while paper "kills trees" it is recyclable, and plastic bags will sit in our landfills for the next millennia).

you understand the joys of spandex as a layer under pants

you dress in layers (tank top, t-shirt, long sleeve shirt, sweatshirt, jacket, etc).

You know the exact day you had school off because it snowed like....one inch.

You have been to camp 18...or just driven by it.

You listen to Kink FM 102.

You remember Ramblin' Rod...and you laugh because you used to watch it....or because you were on it for your birthday. I was.

You play Tony Hawks Pro Skater and recognize Burnside.

you can count the number of movies made here...since there are so many.

you are sad during christmas because it never snows in the valley.

you know where the valley is.

you go out of state and wait in your car for someone to pump your gas.

your state and local legislatures are republican but your state executives and national representatives are democrat.

you are more concerned about packing a sweatshirt or a jacket when going to the beach than packing a bathing suit.

you are aware that "The Shining" was filmed at Timberline Lodge.

you say "pop" instead of "soda."

you believe that Enchanted Forest is Oregon's disneyland.

you think it looks strange when pedestrian signs do not have hula-hoops around them.

The red nose on the 'made in oregon sign' starts your holiday season

you drive on 'the banfield'.

you've seen the elvis impersonator at saturday market

you've been offered pot on hawthorne.

you've been in or heard about a pillowfight in the middle of downtown.

you smile at people you don't know as you walk by them on the sidwalk.

you are excited that Sufjan is going to make a cd about us.

you know you're from oregon when people call you a hippy and you just smile b/c you can't hear them over the grape-nuts.

you make subtle remarks about washington drivers, but save your real road rage for california drivers.

You know The Shane Companies radio commercial word for word -- "...Across the freeway from the washington square mall...open monday through friday til 8, saturday and sunday til 5...also available on shaneco.com."

You've witnessed 300 nude bicyclists just cruising around downtown like its no big deal.

You were thrilled that Scott Thomason finally stop putting his face on the back of his cars.

OREGON LAWS:

Drivers must yield to pedestrians who are standing on the sidewalk.

One may not test their physical endurance while driving a car on a highway.

It is illegal to place a container filled with human fecal matter on the side of any highway.

Babies may not be carried on the running boards of a car.

Drivers may not pump their own gas.

A door on a car may not be left open longer than is necessary.

An adult may not show a minor any piece of classical artwork which depicts sexual excitement.

Dishes must drip dry.
The "Peer Review Statute" prohibits you from finding out details of any written or oral discussion about your medical treatment.

It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex.

Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.

It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.

One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing,"

Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.