Yesterday I wrote about the importance of making your home a house before you put it on the market.

Today I want to continue that theme by focusing on how to emotionally separate yourself from your home so that you can begin to make it feel more like a house.

•1)      Have continued conversations with your spouse/significant other about how you can transition healthily from the place you have lived to a new home.  Without these conversations one of you may be ready to leave and the other may undermine the whole process even subconsciously.  When Kathy and I began thinking about leaving our home of 25 years it was painfully obvious I was not ready to even talk about it.  So I suggested Kathy and I see a marriage counselor.  Kathy was very motivated to move so that we could be near our children and grandchildren.  I just wasn't ready.  So we went to a marriage counselor.  The counselor was amazingly skilled.  We went home with an assignment and began working out our emotions.  Without this help from a third party I don't know if I would have ever begun to separate myself from our home. 

I have learned in life that there are no 1 plus 2 equal 3 easy life formulas.  Life is messy and pulling ourselves out of the mud is not something that we can just sit down and do.  I remember as a child getting stuck in the barnyard muck and pulling my foot right out of my boot.  Frustration escalated because now I had a foot free of the barnyard goop but couldn't dare to put my stocking into the muck around me.  Life is like that.  When we use force to overcome our emotions we will just exacerbate our difficult situation.  If you are not having regular conversations with your wife and children about moving you will have very difficult time preparing your home to look like a house.

Our children are grown.  It had been six years since the youngest left home when we began talking about moving.  We included them in the conversation and yet when we called our youngest with the news about selling she was very upset. 

•2)      Get rid of as much of your furniture as possible.  That overstuffed chair that you plop down in to relax may be  like an old friend to you.  To the buyer it is just an old chair at best.  It is probably an old chair cluttering up the room.  Most of us have too much furniture in our house.  Move everything out except the bare minimum.  Sell it, give it away or put it in storage.  Just do it.

•3)       Clear your closets.  Crammed, cluttered closets are not only unsightly but they usually have a certain smell of which you are not aware.  This may be a difficult task but is possible.  Pack your clothing in suitcases or hang it in a basement closet that is not likely to be as prominent. 

The effort put forth to make your home appear like a house to the buyer will be worth the sweat and time only if you are willing to price your home correctly.  This is a buyers market.  They are not going to pay more than market value Tomorrow I will write about how to price your home.