Earlier this week I posted Moving With Children (Part 1 of 2). If you haven't read that already, please check it out!

As I mentioned in Part 1, moving can be hard on your children. Depending upon where you move, they may need to make new friends, adjust to a new school, find their way around a new neighborhood and settle into their new home. It's a daunting prospect for adults, but for kids it can be an especially anxiety-filled time. Most adults have been in this position a time or two, but for many children it's the first time they've moved and it's scary. Moving With Children

I should state that I'm not a therapist or expert, but I am a mom who has moved her own children a few times. Here are a few ideas that may help you help your child adjust. 

I think it's important to involve children in the moving process in some fashion from beginning to end. That doesn't mean you need to take your kids on every house hunting trip, but you should take them to view a few homes with you. Depending upon the age of your children, you can involve them in measuring rooms, inspections and even the closing process itself. One caveat, you need to make sure that your children stay out of the way and that they are by your side at all times. Remember that house hunting, inspections and closings can be boring for kids so plan on letting them attend for a few minutes and then being picked up by a babysitter, or make sure you bring snacks and quiet activities to keep them occupied. 

Take some time to talk to your kids about the move and how they may be feeling. Let them know that you have some anxieties as well and that it's perfectly okay to be nervous about moving; but at the same time remind them of all the things that will remain the same (same toys, same bed, same routine). Chances are that if you remain calm and upbeat, your kids will be more calm and upbeat as well. Reassure them that you will help them keep in touch with their friends after the move, and take some time to scout out and sign them up for activities or sports in their new location before you move. In addition, visit the school, library, stores, restaurants, parks or other places you will frequent after you move. The more familiar your kids become with their new surroundings, the better they will adjust overall. If you focus on the positives (like the fact that they will get their own room, or that their new house has a pool) you may find that they even look forward to moving! 

Let your children help you pack and label boxes before the move, but don't pack their favorite toys or games until the very last minute. In fact, I would pack their rooms up last. If your kids are very little, you might wish to do most of the packing during naps or after they go to bed. You may find it easier to take a few days off of work and pack while your kids are at school or at a babysitter's house. You'd be amazed at how much more you can get done when your kids aren't there, but allowing them to assist you at least a little bit lets them feel a part of the process so take advantage of that opportunity if you can. 

Many parents have a going away party for their kids and their friends. For some kids, this is an excellent and fun way for them to say good bye. For others, it may increase their anxiety. You need to know your own children. A "party" filled with tears is not going to make moving any easier. Perhaps a quiet good bye would suit your child better. The most important thing is to take the time to say good bye to all the important people that have been in your lives. You may find that after the move your kids call (or text!) their old friends several times a day. It's important to let them stay connected while encouraging them to make new friends as well. It is natural for them to feel anger at you and discomfort with their new surroundings. Give them some time, and listen to them when they want to talk. Be understanding. 

When we moved, I made sure that we unpacked and set up our kid's rooms first. The rest of the house can wait, because when your kids are surrounded by their own things and comfortably settled into their new rooms, the whole family is happier. Trust me on this one. In fact, during those first few days, make sure you take some time out to have a little fun. Go to a movie, check out a new restaurant or take a walk around your new neighborhood. The days leading up to a move and the move itself are frantic times. Even though you may be surrounded by boxes, take some time to simply enjoy each other and to relax if you possibly can. 

While moving can be a very stressful time, it can also be an exciting new beginning for your family. Your own attitude as a parent will make a dramatic difference on the overall experience for your family. One of my favorite clients broke into a cheer when we signed the final paperwork to sell their current home (which they loved and were somewhat sad to leave). She literally assumed a cheerleader's stance, hand movements and all, and said, "P-A-C-K now we get to pack today - YAY!" While a little silly, the whole family chucked, relaxed and a happy mood prevailed. Now that's the way to do it, folks! 

Kelly Sibilsky, REALTOR 

 
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11 Comments on Moving With Children (Part 2 of 2)

NOV
07
2008
183,016 Points 31 Featured Posts Outside Blog Hit Router

Kelly, I moved many times as a young kid and saying good bye to the friends was always the hardest. I love the idea of the "good bye" party because it really puts some closure on it. Making friends was always the easy part, saying good bye...not so much.

9:28am • #1
133,922 Points 19 Featured Posts Outside Blog

COLLEEN: Good bye's are never easy, but hellos can be fun too. Maybe organizing a get-to-know-everyone party at your new location would be a good idea as well!

9:52am • #2
581,980 Points 62 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Kelly, this is an excellent discussion. A move is stressful enough. Involving the kids does de-stress them.

3:53pm • #3
NOV
08
2008
195,145 Points 29 Featured Posts Outside Blog

My favorite suggestion is to set up the childrens' room first! That is brilliant. I know that when we have moved, I was so busy trying to find the kitchen things and toothbrushes...that I was not thinking about making my childrens' rooms their 'new home'. LOVE IT!! GBU!

9:35am • #4
NOV
10
2008
133,922 Points 19 Featured Posts Outside Blog

GARY & ELIZABETH: Thanks for reading and commenting! I appreciate it!

8:53pm • #5
NOV
16
2008

Kelly,

This is excellent article.  Would you share your Kids Listing Info?   You sound very insightful in working with different types of buyers and sellers.  I love your advice on letting the kids help!  I'm working with a couple that will close this week and they have 2 very little ones and my client said the 3 year old is a little confused but they are staying with Grandma so that helps with make him feel more secure.

 From your posts you and I sound very much alike - I'm older and my kids are grown and I have grandchildren but our thoughts seem to run along the same vein.

Thanks & have a great day.

7:21am • #6
133,922 Points 19 Featured Posts Outside Blog

KATHY: Having the little ones stay with Grandma for a few days is a great idea. They are spoiled (and love it) and their parents get some uninterrupted unpacking time. Thanks for sharing that tip!

8:22pm • #7
NOV
17
2008
676,533 Points 145 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

These were great suggestions, Kelly. Having moved multiple time swith kids, too, I know what it's lke and how disruptive it can be. Planning ahead and thinking about ways to make the transition easier adn fun is so important, as well as recognizing problems adjusting, etc.

Jeff

9:31am • #8
133,922 Points 19 Featured Posts Outside Blog

JEFF: Planning is really important because when you plan and organize your time effectively, you are less frantic, and then you have more down time to spend with the kids and helping them adjust.

9:35am • #9
NOV
18
2008
254,701 Points Outside Blog

Kelly - Great advice!  Moving can be really tough on kids - It's a great idea to keep them involved.  :)

1:47pm • #10
133,922 Points 19 Featured Posts Outside Blog

DEBI: Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :)

3:26pm • #11

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Kelly Sibilsky

Lake Zurich, IL

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Licensed Through Professional Referrals, Inc.

Cell Phone: (847) 909-2337

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"Referring to top agents locally and across the country"

My take on the local real estate market, as well as my favorite people, places and things to do in Lake Zurich and the surrounding communities of Barrington, Deer Park, Hawthorn Woods, Kildeer and Long Grove.



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