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The Lucy - Charlie Brown Effect

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

Lucy FootballI think I have this one figured out. It can help out with the long faces in real estate and society that I see entirely too often these days. It has to do with having a realistic view of what makes you happy. It's

    The Lucy - Charlie Brown Effect.

It all has to do with "attachment" to an expectation. Charlie Brown attaches to the fact that he "thinks" Lucy will hold the football and he can kick it. The way the world really works is she may let him kick it or may pull the ball away.

Unhappiness comes from a death grip in your mind attaching what you think the outcome will be. To be truly happy you need to loosen the grip or let go entirely of the grip of the outcome.

This is the let the chips fall where they may strategy. You want to drive to your expected result but don't be surprised if life throws a few Lucy scenarios in your path that you don't see coming. Many say hope for the best, and expect or prepare for the worst. I might not go that extreme cause basically I'm optimistic and think you win more than you lose with the right attitude.

But practice a little "detachment" to the outcomes in your life. Think of it like planting seeds where some just do not blossom. This is disappointing of course, but you are the good gardener. Observe the wilted plants or those that don't even break the top soil and just think "isn't that interesting?" Keep planting good seeds. Afterall you're a Charlie Brown in the world. One of the good guys (or gals). You may not always get the respect or outcome you expect. But trust me, the world needs a lot more Charlie Browns. Their hearts are made of gold.

Comments (27)

Bo Hussung
Bell Title /Triserv LLC - Nashvle, TN

Gary, good post. However, this is sort of like doing the same thign pover and over and expecting a different result. Otherwise referred to as insanity!

We must all be a little guarded, but not to the point of fear and inaction

Bo

Nov 07, 2008 01:01 PM
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

Gary, I've always seemed to connect with the the messy one with the dust flying around him.  But, it's all good.  xxoo

Nov 07, 2008 01:23 PM
Thom Abbott
MyMidtownMojo.com |770.713.1505 | Intown Atlanta GA Condo Living - Atlanta, GA
Midtown Atlanta GA Condos For Sale

Gary....interesting post! I like the gardening approach. I've been saying for sometime that I have been planting lots of seeds and when they grow.....problem is, the when is taking to long. I think I'm going to have to use a different fertilizer or amend the soil, 'cuz they are not coming up like I thought they should/would!!

Nov 07, 2008 01:26 PM
Carol Culkin
Diamond Partners Inc - Overland Park, KS
Overland Park Residential Real Estate

Gary - I like to let the chips fall. Sometimes we can obsess a little too much over things we have no control over. There is always a Lucy lurking, but I won't let Lucy control my life and keep me from trying! And, in the end Lucy was always the jerk - not Charlie Brown!  

Nov 07, 2008 01:52 PM
Lynda Eisenmann
Preferred Home Brokers - Brea, CA
Broker Associate ,CRS,GRI,SRES, Brea,CA, Orange Co

Gary,

Detachment can be a good thing. We used to say in our coaching group, buyers and seller's can smell commission breath... charge neutral and detach yourself from the outcome. This practice has helped me a lot along the way.

Thanks for your words of wisdom!

Nov 07, 2008 02:28 PM
William Johnson
Retired - La Jolla, CA
Retired

Hi Gary, I made the decision to detach myself from many of the recent events. I can't change them but I can also control my response since that is a choice. A great reminder that it is people and how e treat them that is most important.

Nov 07, 2008 02:40 PM
Mary Warren
Las Vegas, NV

Gary - as usual some good sound advice from you!  Good man Charlie Brown (AKA Gary Woltal)

Nov 07, 2008 02:40 PM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Gary, I love the way you put it:  Unhappiness comes from a death grip in your mind attaching what you think the outcome will be.  Obsessing over things we can't change  will never help; we can hope for an outcome but we don't always get what we want...sometimes it's even better!

Nov 07, 2008 03:14 PM
Janna Scharf
Keller Williams Realty Coeur d'Alene - Coeur d'Alene, ID
Coeur d'Alene Idaho Real Estate Expert

When I started out in this business I had a meltdown of frustration with some things and people I was working with.  I realized I had to adjust my expectations if I didn't want to live my life in a state of frustration.  It worked! 

Nov 07, 2008 04:26 PM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Myrl: SIMPLiFY can make everything a lot easier.

Dinah: We are all in this trying to find happiness together.

Richard: I know many people who are excellent at that compartmentalization of lives. Keeping ones eye open for the unexpected is good too.

Pat: Wow, a rose grew from a seed planted in you. Thanks. A pretty one too. Thanks for your kindness.

Steve: Under promise and over deliver should make you feel good at the end of the day and inevitably happy.

Chris: Great Rolling Stones lyrics and song. We get what we need.

William: Good point that for things to grow sometimes we must be patient (and kick that football or try twenty times).

Jeanean: Love the WOW graphic. Don't grumble. Life is too short for all that negative energy.

Bo: Some of us Charlie Browns do seem insane. I know with love that will do that to you.

Hello Susan: A Pig Pen fan. Plus he goes for the girl with the naturally curly hair making her a mess. This must mean you deliver chaos (and fun) Susan. So true. xxoo

Thom and Ray: I hate those slow growing seeds. I need a cure for my impatience.

Carol: I'm keeping that Lucy is a jerk thought. I feel better already.

Lynda: I like the commission breath. Kind of like telling the salesman to get the dollar signs out of the eyes. Very good.

William: It is a conscious choice to detach.

Mary: So nice to see you in the Rain. I still miss you, but I see you are still here. Stop by anytime and let us know how the teaching is going.

Hi Carole: Very nice point, that what we do finally receive is better.

Janna: Superb thought about adjusting expectations to offset frustration. That is so well put.

 

Nov 07, 2008 04:31 PM
Liz Moras Migic
Chilliwack, BC
Chilliwack, British Columbia - Realtor

I like the line - 'deathgrip on our expectations'...i'm familiar with that! :) I need to practice

Nov 07, 2008 04:46 PM
Arina Hanciulescu
RealtyPros - Las Vegas, NV
RealtyPros

Gary,Always making me think... I have hard time to surrender to whatever life has in store for me: " This is the let the chips fall where they may strategy " I have to learn that.

Nov 07, 2008 05:37 PM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Liz: Great graphic. Easy grip will let you not have bad feelings when Lucy pulls that ball out from under you. It is actually a very clever strategy but so not natural.

Arina: You came up with a great word with surrender. Another word I use is trust, as in trust life that you will receive what you need not always necessarily what you want.

Nov 08, 2008 12:53 AM
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster Real Estate - Gainesville, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Gary:  My husband and I talk a lot about this Lucy-Charlie Brown football thing.  There's a gentleman in our company that sends out overly optimistic forecasts about when the market will turn around.  And most in our company wait with anticipation for that moment he has forecast, then end up like Charlie Brown...right down on their rear end.  I've learned to not read too much into these emails.  Doesn't mean I don't have an optimistic view point, but I continue to close deals in whatever market we're in.  I don't need a magic wand to fix things so I can work.  I work anyway.  And, naturally, I'm doing better than most in my office.  And my outlook remains positive, but realistic.

Nov 08, 2008 02:01 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Chris Ann: I am on board similar to you with your philosophy about being optimistic, yet realistic.

Nov 08, 2008 02:42 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

Gary - I was actually talking to my wife about the key to true happiness yesterday.  Since so much unhappiness is caused from having our expectations not met, I think it's important not to expect too much (or at least to try not to).  Nice post, my friend.

Nov 08, 2008 02:50 AM
Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Broker
Elizabeth Anne Weintraub, Broker - Sacramento, CA
Put 40 years of experience to work for you

Charlie Brown is a doofus who doesn't learn from his mistakes, Gary! :) If they fool you once, shame on them. If they fool you twice, shame on you.

Not to be a party pooper or anything.

elizabeth weintraub sacramento real estate agent in land park

Nov 08, 2008 03:33 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Hi Jason: You've got that lesson with the expectations down quite well. Very good.

Hello Elizabeth: But Charlie Brown is a "trusting life" Dufus : ) Always believing in the goodness of humanity. But your point is well taken. You're not a party pooper by any means. Just a quick study. You'd probably pop Lucy in the mouth on the second time she pulled that ball away from you ;) Don't mess with Elizabeth Weintraub or you'll be sorry!! ; )

Nov 08, 2008 03:37 AM
Esko Kiuru
Bethesda, MD

Gary,

When I first started in the mortgage business it quickly became evident that reaching the desired outcome often required many agonizing detours. Soon I learned to be more realistic which makes life so much easier.

Nov 08, 2008 08:27 AM
Judy Greenberg
Compass - Long Grove, IL
Compass- Long Grove -Buffalo Grove

When  a person expect the bests, there's possibility to be disappointed when they don't get it...  When there are no expectations,  everyone's a lot happier.  Good reminder to not expect and then see what each day will bring.   Life is getting better already

Nov 08, 2008 09:28 PM