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Don't get Technical with Me! (Humor)

By
Real Estate Agent with MARY IACOVELLI REALTY, LLC

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Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

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Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

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And last but not least...

Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

Author Unknown. Posted by www.activerain.com/miacovelli04

Sandy Gleason
North Pointe Realty - Buhl, ID
Realtor for Southern Idaho-Magic Valley

Thanks for a good laugh to wake up to.

Nov 08, 2008 02:26 AM
Connie Goodrich
Keller Williams Realty - McKinney, TX
CRS ABR (McKinney Realtor)Texas

Thanks for sharing, makes me feel tons better about what I consider my technical ignorance.  I actually laughed at these and knew better.

Nov 08, 2008 02:26 AM
Vickie Nagy
Coldwell Banker Residential Real Estate - Palm Springs, CA
Vickie Jean the Palm Springs Condo Queen

What a wonderful way to begin my work day. Thanks, I needed the humor this morning.

Nov 08, 2008 02:30 AM
Steve Loynd
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH

If you are having a problem with "Cookies" try baking a cake..people love cake

Nov 08, 2008 02:33 AM
Toni M. Rose
Prudential C. Dan Joyner Realtors - Easley, SC
Easley SC Real Estate

This is very funny, but scarey too. I know people that would actually be that dumb! Thanks for the laugh!

Nov 08, 2008 02:35 AM
Larry Story ALC
Total Care Realty - Greensboro, NC
Beneath it all is the Land, Covering all of NC

Excellent and I am sure all very very true!

Nov 08, 2008 02:35 AM
Tony & Darcy Cannon
Aubrey and Associates Realty - Layton, UT
The C Team

ROFLMAO, too funny, even if I resemble a caller or two!

Nov 08, 2008 03:33 AM
real estate real estate
Providence, RI

The "five stars" actually happened to one of my friends' friend.

Nov 08, 2008 04:53 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

I once was trying to troubleshoot a computer problem with my mother, over the phone. I asked her if the window was open, and she reposnded: "Oh, honey, you know I'm always warm.. the window is always open!"

Nov 08, 2008 06:38 AM
MARY IACOVELLI
MARY IACOVELLI REALTY, LLC - Simpsonville, SC

Alan that is priceless!  Last night at dinner at an italian resturant I asked if they had Italian dressing!  DUH!

Nov 08, 2008 08:42 AM
Alan May
Jameson Sotheby's International Realty - Evanston, IL
Home is where the hearth is.

I also remember an urban legend "tech support" call because the computer's screen was blank, that ended with something like:

Tech: Is the computer plugged in?
Customer: I don't know I can't see behind the computer.
Tech: Can you stand up, and look behind the computer?
Customer: It's too dark back there.
Tech: Why is it too dark?
Customer: Because the building's in the midst of having a power failure.

long pause

Tech: Do you have the boxes the computer came in?
Customer: Yes.
Tech: Pack up your computer in those boxes, and return it to us.
Customer: Is the problem really that serious?
Tech: Yes, you're too stupid to own a computer!

the tech was, of course, relieved of his duties... his diagnosis wasn't wrong... he was just relieved of his duties.

Nov 09, 2008 02:56 AM
Bob Cumiskey
A1 Connection Realty, Inc. - Sun City Center, FL
US Army Retired, Your Sun City Center, Florida ~ Realtor

Mary, Thanks so much for the morning chuckle.  I have a few freinds who call me with problems with their computers, and I swear a couple of them were listed here.  LOL

Nov 09, 2008 03:08 AM
Leslie Prest
Leslie Prest, Prest Realty, Sales and Rentals in Payson, AZ - Payson, AZ
Owner, Assoc. Broker, Prest Realty, Payson,

Lord, that's too funny. I'm the "tech" person in my office, my husband tends to think that if he yells loudly enough at his computer it should do wat he want it to.

Nov 09, 2008 03:28 AM