After nearly two years of exhausting beta testing we are proud to announce the availability of the Jeff Turner
Technology Implant. This revolutionary product is going to change the face of Internet Technology. One simple chip, implanted in the heads of the technology challenged will solve both common and challenging technology problems.
Yes, it is true! No longer will technophobic bloggers, web designers, graphic designers, social media (wannabe) mavens, videographers, and/or thought challenged leaders fear for lack of ability to excell in their chosen field!
Plain and simple the Jeff Turner Technology Implant is nothing short of a miracle!
Upon implantation of this amazing chip, the carrier will instantly be able to overcome fear and master:
- Blogging
- Photography
- Webdesign
- Critical thinking
- Copywriting
- Social Networking
- Experimenting with & search for new technologies
- Inventing new technologies
Other beta testers have experienced amazing results, hear are a few testimonials:
Jon Washburn
"Before I got my chip all I could think about was playing golf, now my thoughts are directed toward building social media platforms that attract thousands of members! My Jeff Turner Technology Chip has given me the potential to change the face of social media forever!"
JeffX
"I was apprehensive about getting an implant mostly because of my fear of scalpels, but my determination to stand out in any and every field I enter took over, erasing my fear. Getting the Jeff Turner Technology Implant has made a huge difference in my life. Now I consume extraordinary technology topics with ease."
Brad Andersohn
"The Jeff Turner Technology Chip is nothing short of amazing. My technological journey is evidence of its amazing powers! Just look back over the course of my reign here in the rain. I once was the guy who deleted friendly comments on my blog, because I didn't understand the concept of blogging. Now with the Jeff Turner Technology Chip I am a power blogger, thought leader and teacher of technology!"
FAQ's About the Jeff Turner Technology Chip Implant
Is the Jeff Turner Technology Chip for everyone?
DISCLAIMER: As with any medical procedure certain cautions must be taken. Persons whos stature is less than 5'1" tall are not permitted to have the implant procedure. Until further testing, scientists want to err of the side of caution. Implanting these persons could result in a severe overload of the body and they may never STOP blogging.
Teresa B.
"Bite me."
How will the Jeff Turner Technology Chip effect Realtors?
Although no Realtors have been implanted with The Chip, it is believed Realtors will act in a positive manner. Studies indicate the following changes can be expected:
- Experience a compelling desire to network on multiple social media platforms
- Have the ability to speed access the MLS from the iPhone
- Will easily "jail break" the iPhone in order to video showings to save time for buyers
- Photography knowledge will just "be there"
- Experience an increase in sales volume due to being present
Are there any serious side effects?
Yes, some or all of the following side effects can be expected. Some will be more serious to some than others.
- Will not be able to work on a PC
- Persons implanted with the chip who have 6 or more children will not be able to use technology on Sunday.
- Sleeping during conventions, conferences, barcamps, etc is not optional. No sleeping allowed.
- Persons may find themselves with a strong desire to increase their family size
- Inability to remember "sales pitches" of any kind
- Persons may develop a passion for wearing flip flops 24/7
Jeff Turner the developer of the Jeff Turner Technology Chip states, "The size is so small you won't even
know you are wearing it. Women won't have to worry about that dreaded weight gain. Many people think it will be necessary to shave your head to get the Tech Chip implanted, but head shaving is actually optional."
How Much Does It Cost?
The Chip is rather inexpensive as technology goes, $15,000 for the actually chip plus medical expenses. Some persons will opt to visit a surgeon others may find the simple Bostitch stapler does the job just as well. It may be a bit primitive but after the first ouch, the pain goes away rather quickly.
Unfortunately, the Jeff Turner Technology Chip is not covered by most insurance policies. Some persons may find their employer will be willing to contribute to the expense. Others my find ready willing and able donors (cash) to pay for the procedure. Guess it really depends on how much others deem you need the procedure.
How Do I Purchase My Jeff Turner Technology Chip?
Applying for your Chip is simple. Just click here to add it to your shopping cart. We take MasterCard, Visa, American Express or Active Rain Points. Once your transaction is verified you will be emailed instructions on how to receive your Jeff Turner Technology Chip.
Act Now!
If you find yourself sitting around all day baffled by technology, why not treat yourself to this amazing piece of brilliance. It's cheaper than a few semesters at a good University and much more effective! Come join the Technology Elite Crowd, you will be glad you did!
(If you purchase now, you could be Tech Smart by Xmas!)
by Kristal Kraft who when she is not promoting technology implants sells Denver Real Estate.
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That was classic...and hilarious! Thanks for giving us the info in case we make some big bucks to splurge on the JTTI. :)