The Real Power of Rapport

Education & Training with Accelerated Performance Coaching

Women friendsWho doesn't like to be with people they know and feel comfortable with? Of course we do. Over time we build a rapport – a feeling of comfort and trust – with our circle of friends and close business associates. If one of them recommends a movie, we'll probably see it. If they tell us about a great restaurant, we might try it next time we go out for dinner. And if they share a good experience with a plumber or a doctor, we will be influenced by that when we have a leaking pipe or a bad cough.

Men friends talking We have rapport with those people: we know them, we like them, we trust them, and we respect them. That is exactly the type of relationship you want to build with your clients and prospects, for there is no selling without rapport. You don't have months to spend getting to know those clients, but there are ways to help build rapport more quickly by paying attention to verbal and non-verbal cues.

What's one of the key features of being with the people we know? We are comfortable with them. We share a common language not only in what we talk about but in how we relate to each other. Sit down with friends, and you tend to lean forward, hands unclasped, smiling. Look around, and you'll see that your friends are doing the same thing – you are all mirroring each other's posture. Your tone of voice is optimistic, your gestures are open and friendly.

Mirror image woman in chairThat's your starting point in building rapport with new people. You can build rapport while asking qualifying questions, and as you become more in sync, the more they will reveal to you. Be aware of how they speak – the speed and tone. Look at their body position – are they closed with arms and legs crossed, or are they open? What kind of gestures do they use? Now mirror or match what they do and how they speak, without seeming to mock them, of course. Use similar hand gestures and body position. Pace your speech and movements to match theirs.

young couple with agentWe know that communication is much more than words. In fact, the words we choose account for only 5% of communication. Our tone is 35%, and our body language is a full 60% of our message. In your listing presentation, you can use what you know about communication to build that rapport that leads to sales.

Developing a powerful and effective presentation requires practice, it takes being mentally and emotionally prepared, and it needs your enthusiasm; nothing happens until someone gets excited! Then, remember that the greatest listing agents never underestimate the power of showmanship:Listing agreement

  1. Entertain them
  2. Educate them
  3. Close them

Work on building a connection with people using the three modes of communication – words, tone, and body language – and use your enthusiasm to entertain and persuade. That's the real power of rapport.


Coach Patti

Patti Kouri, Accelerated Performance Coaching
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Richard Stabile
Re/Max Real Estate Limited - Oradell, NJ
Bergen County New Homes Builder Realtor

Patty: I was a rock musician when I was a kid. Everything was to entertain. Yes, we have to deliver what we must in a way that moves people through the psychological hurdles.


Nov 11, 2008 06:27 AM #1
Nicholas Ellsworth
North American Title Co. - Burlingame, CA

Another great blog!  I especially like the section that breaks down the percentages of our communication characteristics.  I am a subscriber!  Have a wonderful afternoon.


Nov 11, 2008 07:04 AM #2
Kim Sellers
Lake Arrowhead, CA Coldwell Banker - Lake Arrowhead, CA
Lake Arrowhead Realtor - BRE#01412099 - Lake Arrow

Great guidance here.  Absolutely we are showman... I educate about the area and then I always talk about what drew me here, that usually opens them up about the things they like...

Nov 11, 2008 08:39 AM #3
Lizette Fitzpatrick
Lizette Realty - Lexington KY - Richmond KY - Lexington, KY
Lizette Realty,Lexington KY MLS - Kentucky Homes -

I'm usually pretty in toch and study body gestures and signals. Rapport is the crucial key to success in business for sure.

Nov 11, 2008 12:18 PM #4
Gayle Balaban
The Best Spot Realty/Waterfront Real Estate/Ooltewah Real E - Chattanooga, TN
E. TN Waterfront Real Estate

In my opinion body language is everything.  I can tell so much without a word being spoken.

Nov 11, 2008 02:56 PM #5
Michael Delp
Mortgage Pro - Telford, PA

Good rapport is very important. Thanks for some great points to keep in mind. You are a very gifted writer.

Nov 12, 2008 12:41 AM #6
Coach Patti Kouri
Accelerated Performance Coaching - Chatsworth, CA

Thanks for stopping by,    Keep on building rapport.  Nothing happens without it. 


Curious, how are you building rapport with with your internet leads? 

Warmest, Coach Patti Kouri

Nov 12, 2008 02:20 PM #7
Coach Patti Kouri
Accelerated Performance Coaching - Chatsworth, CA

Here is a great success formula to try out in regards to rapport.  I call it my 'Respond ability' formula.  Sometimes we don't click right away. 

Situation + Response = Outcome

Your only point of power is in your response.  If you don't like the outcome of lack of rapport, change what and how you are doing.  If at first you do not succeed, try, try again.

Good Luck

Coach Patti

Nov 18, 2008 10:08 AM #8
Fernando Herboso - Broker for Maxus Realty Group
Maxus Realty Group - Broker 301-246-0001 - Gaithersburg, MD
301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA

in another words. .just be your self and not try to be what you perceive they want you to be. .

Nov 25, 2008 11:50 PM #9
Dawn Helena Anderson
Coldwell Banker - Quality Properties - Porter Ranch, CA
Realtor Since 1998

Getting to know others with true sincerity and being real to others in my mind this is extremely important.  Thank you for sharing.

Nov 29, 2008 04:01 AM #10
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