I will never forget the days leading up to the birth of my first child, Amanda.  My life was in turmoil. I was only 19.  Amanda was born on February 20th, 1988.  She was three months early, and had a fight on her hands.  At such a young age, I don't think I realized just how serious her condition was.  All I knew was that I had to leave my baby at a hospital that was over 2 hours from where I lived.  I was assured that she would be in the hospital for the next three months. 

With daily visits, I watched her fight off surgeries that we were told would happen.  I watched her fight for the weight she was losing. I watched her fight many different battles on a daily basis, only to see her win!  She was a strong little thing. 

One month later, she weighed 5lbs, 2 oz.  She was being released to go home. I was a nervous wreck.  She was on a heart machine that seemed to constantly be beeping at me.  She was so tiny I was afraid she was going to break.  So here I was, taking care of this little child when I was still a child myself.

As she grew, you could tell there were areas that she was behind developmentally.  It wasn't anything major.  Dental wise when she was 6, she was on a 4 year level.  She was a small, petite thing.  She was a real miracle to me.

Shortly after her 9th birthday, she started to have some problems.  She could just be walking and all the sudden she would fall.  The doctors assured me that she was fine.  They couldnt find anything wrong.  This went on for several months, until I decided to take her back to KU Medical Center where she was born.

After a day of testing, it was determined that she had to much blood pumping through her heart.  (You will have to forgive me, but medical terminology is not my forte).  There was an extra valve that needed to be closed off.  She would need major heart surgery.  The left side of her heart had doubled in size compared to the right because of the extra blood pumping through there.

If we had not found out the problem, the doctors said she would have had a heart attack by the age of 13.

Her problems seemed to stop once this was done.  She was given a clean bill of health and has prospered.

She was a great kid growing up.  Never caused any problems, and always wanted everyone to be proud of her.  When she went to college, she started to struggle a little bit.  Amanda was so responsible, went to school, worked full time, but yet started to enjoy the "party" scene.  Soon, she realized it was all wrong for her and needed to make some decisions.  Decisions that only she could make.

Today, Amanda will be having Family Day followed by Graduation tomorrow from Boot Camp.  She joined the Army in September and has been stationed at Ft. Leonard Wood, Mo.  She will remain there for training until January (except for Christmas, when she comes home).  From that point, we don't know where she is going.  She is in the Nuclear field, so they might not tell us, who knows.

When Amanda has called home, she has been full of spirit.  A spirit that I haven't heard in her for a very long time.  It touches my heart to think that she is loving what she is doing, and to know her future can be as bright as she can dream.

Even though I can't be with her today or tomorrow, I would like to tell her this...

Amanda,

Your my miracle child.  You came into this life fighting to live.  You grew up to become the best you could.  You fought through struggles, not to always win, but you did your best.  It wasn't long ago that you were sitting on your bed crying saying, " I feel so lost and don't know what I am suppose to do." All I ever wanted for you was for you to be happy.  I don't know if the Army will bring you that happiness, but your honor can never be taken away.  As a mom, many would think having two daughters in the Army would be devastating and a real test of nerves, but to me its joy and happiness. 

You will soon learn that some people don't respect what it is your doing for their freedom, however, there are many more that can't express their thanks enough.  Don't listen to the media.  They thrive on the negative. Your country not only needs you, the majority appreciate you. You have the opportunity to become whatever you want.  Whether you spend 20 years in the military or you get out at the end of your enlistment, no one can take away what you given to your country.  From this moment on, always walk proud.

I do have one favor to ask you...I want you to really focus and renew your faith.  I want you to come home at Christmas and be prepared to give yourself to Jesus.  Let him walk through life with you.  Don't make the same mistakes I did and walk away from him for so many years.  He will watch over you and guide you.  You just need to have faith in him.  This would be the greatest gift you could ever give YOURSELF!

Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will always be there for you.  It might not be in person, but always in my heart.

I love you,

Mom