Amidst all the turmoil and smut happening here in the United States, in all 50 States and all over the world, I wanted to take the time to make light of things and see what I could come up with.
I went through our MLS and got some terms from the listings that the listors put in...and added my definitions. All of you are welcome and I will add to the list as comments come in.....loan officers, stagers and the like...we're all related in one way or another..so give it some thought and add to the list....and see what we can all come up with!
Spacious - average
Charming - small
Comfortable - very small
Cozy - very, very small
Custom Two-Tone Paint: Deep dark red accent walls. Impossible to truly cover.
Sold As Is- Stuff broken and will not fix; carpet has tears; possible tear down
Ocean View-Peek a Boo-upstairs from the corner of the window bathroom
Near the water- Drainage canal in the back
Needs Major Repair-Tear Down
Mountain view-Foundation slipped and now in a sinkhole.
Near the beach- next to right of way where all the public can walk down the 1/4 mile stretch to the beach
Needs some work-Tear Down
Low maintenance - no lawn; all rocks or cement
Walk to stores - nowhere to park your car so better to walk there
Prestgious - expensive;
Bright and sunny - blinds/drapes not included
Townhouse - apartment/condo
Modern - 30 to 40 years old
Contemporary - 15 yrs old
Shows pride of ownership!-That's their opinion of that pig sty.?
Natural setting - No sewer connection
Secluded setting - Everyone moved away
Executive neighborhood - high property taxes
Near houses of worship- Cults
New plumbing- fixed the leaky drainpipe under the sink and the rest from 1920.
Park-like setting - swing set in vacant lot next door
Unaffected charm - needs painting
Starter home - no upgrades; all original from the 70's
Hurry! Won't last - overpriced and trying to make it sound like a steal
And much, much more - can't think of anything else
ONE-OF-A-KIND - Ugly as sin.
You'll love it - No, you won't.
Located in Ewa Flood zone 'D':area of undetermined but possible flood hazardsCan't think of a bunch more so please add to this.... and let's all make light of turmoil, negativity and make this a positive thing!
Abundant with fruit trees- Termite infested 40 year old trees
Some termite damage- They slapped a bunch of wood filler to "fix" some of it. The rest is stuctural damage and ......tear down.
New Paint/Carpet: Hot Red Paint/Yellow remnant carpet
Contractor's Dream!-Tear Down
And remember to add your definitions also! I am adding to the list as your comments come in!
And these are the add ons as your comments are coming in!
Lawns are "fully sprinkled?"- But sometimes we miss a spot or two...hahaha.
Needs TLC- Totally Trashed
Sounds like an extra:Would you buy it?
Some Updates-changed a light fixture, or maybe just the light bulb
Must see to appreciate (or better known as Truly a "Must See") - No pictures; described as excellent condition to get you there.
Maids Quarters..only to find a bed, light and table in the closet.
Just needs personalizing-totally trashed
Location, Location, Location? That means that's all it has going for it
Greenbelt-Backs up to a few trees right before a major 6 lane road or Drainage Ditch
QUAINT - old, small and run down
Not a Drive By: It looks real bad on the outside but show my listing anyway!
Awaiting your finishing touches No plumbing or drywall
Cute as a Button: VERY small & probably outdated...but with a white picket fence!
Unique (or Custom): Who the hell designed this monstrosity
Motivated: Desperate as hell -PLEASE offer ANYTHING!!!
Move In Ready - The owner left months ago and its been vacant since please buy!
Cream Puff: Same as Cute as a Button
Handyman's Dream: Uninhabitable
PROPERTY IS VACANT, GREAT DEAL FOR INVESTORS!! No one else wants it
Decorator Colors-Ok, so they got carried away after watching DIY
Heat Description-other- Per seller "we just turn on the stove and it heats the place right up!"
WOODED - in Iowa, this means that there are more than a dozen trees in your back yard, but probably goes down to a flood plain.
Bank owned 1/2 duplex in need of repairs, great potential: Another tear down
Seller can close quickly.Means house has been sitting empty for over a year
Drive By: Looks reeeal bad on the inside but the outside green grass might sell it!
Priced under assessed value: The sellers property taxes went up triple!
Can be used as extra bedroom: It is the area at the top of the stairs, no closet, no door and missing one wall.
PRESENT ALL OFFERS! No one even put in an offer in over six months.
Immaculate: They cleaned the dishes...toilet stained, dirty clothes all over, dog and kid prints all over the walls, poop in the back yard and on the sidewalk
Off the beaten trail...Can't see it from my house.
Partially finished basment: They laid some carpet remnants on the concrete.
Investors special, REDUCED!!! Tree fell thru roof in Living room. Needs sheetrock, paint and flooring. Corner lot, front porch. Bank will fiance. cheap taxes (this is directly from the MLS from Stephanie. You think the fiance was a man or woman?)
BY THE LAKE - in Iowa, this means that we have created a drainage area in the middle of the cornfield that we are now developing and that the home backs up to it. There's unusally one fountain that shoots a single stream of water staight up to keep the water moving.
don't forget "diamond in the rough" - meaning... LOTS and LOTS of work.. more than just a good cleaning That's always a classic..... not to mention "possibilities are endless" (so ugly nothing left to say except it has 4 walls and do what you want)two of my favorites
How about Greenbelt-Backs up to a few trees right before a major 6 lane road or Drainage Ditch
Needs TLC- Totally Trashed
Seriously saw this in person while showing one day...
Heat Description-other- Per seller "we just turn on the stove and it heats the place right up!"
Celeste, I'll have to forward some of our listings. Did you know that lawns are "fully sprinkled?" (sprinkler system front and back) I could go on and on!
Ray: Never heard of the Holly Guacamole and the whole enchilada and all that...except Mexican Restaurant...hahaha. Anyway...gotta give me the descriptions for those so I can insert them!
Found this one just for you. Copied and pasted from MLS.
Investors special, REDUCED!!! Tree fell thru roof in Living room. Needs sheetrock, paint and flooring. Corner lot, front porch. Bank will fiance. cheap taxes
Hey Sally, this is a great way to lighten up our day. Can I share this list with my office? We are always doing crazy things to keep it a fun atmosphere.
Ralph: If it's okay with you I'm going to add it but tone it down a little...And thanks for dropping by! I liked your post last night...rated it high...
BY THE LAKE - in Iowa, this means that we have created a drainage area in the middle of the cornfield that we are now developing and that the home backs up to it. There's unusally one fountain that shoots a single stream of water staight up to keep the water moving.
WOODED - in Iowa, this means that there are more than a dozen trees in your back yard, but probably goes down to a flood plain.
How about the extra bedroom. An area builder has a 4 bedroom model. If you look you will not find the 4th bedroom. It is the area at the top of the stairs, no closet, no door and missing one wall.
"AS IS" property. Handyman special. Public Utilities. House needs electric, plumbing.... Buyer is responsible for certificate of occupancy. Show during daylight, use caution, no electric
This is a ½ duplex, wonder what the other side looks like
Yeah, if you include the garage and 8x8 unfinished laundry room as a story. And great place to live? It is a row of town homes with blacktop parking and garage access in back and the front has yards about 10x10 patch of grass. In front of that is a metal fence because these are built lower than the sidewalk next to the street so the fence is to keep people on sidewalk from falling down into the front yards of the town homes.
Bank owned 1/2 duplex in need of repairs, great potential, why rent when you can own!! Being sold AS IS with buyer responsible for all state and muncipal certs including C/O.
Luxurious bldg w/ 24 hr doorman,shuttle to nyc direct & shopping, great view, newer kit w/ ceramic tile, ceramic tile foyer, new carpeting, state of the art gym. MUST SELL! BRING ALL OFFERS! .Great condition. $1000 stock transfer fee. State of the art gym. Near all major transpo routes.
Great condition.State of the art gym.$1000 stock transfer fee. Board approval required. Parking/ garage spaces must be arranged. Owner NEEDS OFFERS! MUST SELL!
PROPERTY IS VACANT, GREAT DEAL FOR INVESTORS!! PRESENT ALL OFFERS! CALL LISITING AGENT FOR AN APPOINTMENT. THIS IS A TRUE FIXER-UPPER, BRING ALL INVESTORS!!!
I didn't read all of the comments, but didn't see a couple of my personal favorites: "Step-Saver Kitchen" (stand in the middle and you can reach everything without moving your feet); and my own #1, devised for my investor friends: "Nothing But Potential!" (no, really, nothing...but always said with a really big smile!)
Hey!! I was cracking up the other day thinking about this list. I was showing and one house had a Bee Hive in the Garage! I was wondering what that would fall under on this list. :)
Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman (RA), e-PRO HAWAII Real Estate & HAWAII Relocation Mililani, HI More about me…
Century 21 Liberty Homes -Mililani, Hawaii
Office Phone: (808) 625-1776
Cell Phone: (808) 375-1404
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