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The call came mid-morning Saturday as I sat browsing the internet (probably Active Rain, though I don't remember) sipping a cup of coffee.  I had been scheduled for phone duty at 9:00, but a co-worker had called the afternoon before asking to switch.  No problem.  My husband, RenRed (short for Renaissance Redneck), would be glad to hear that.  With two teenagers and only three cars on the weekends, vehicles were in short supply.

"Hey, honey.  I don't have to go into work until 2:30, so I won't need the car.  You can use it if you need it."  I knew he would take advantage of the opportunity to go down to his dad's rural East Texas hunting camp.  How I wish I had that 9:00 phone duty slot back.

So, as I was saying, I'm surfing the 'net.  Ring.  Ring.  I pick up the phone, look at the display, but don't recognize the long distance number.  No big deal.  We've gotten so many political survey calls lately....

"Hey, I've been in a bad accident....  No, I think I'm gonna be okay.... They're gonna take me to the hospital....  I think the other guy's dead....  The car's totaled....  No, it wasn't....  He crossed the center line....  Yeah, meet me at the hopital."Our car

The hospital - 30 minutes away.  "FIDDLER, I need you!!!"

"What do you want?" from Fiddler, the 16 year-old.

"I NEED YOU!  NOW!!  Here, look up the directions to the hospital and print them out for me.  Then get me the Shelby County sheriff's office phone number."

I dash in a daze to the bedroom - I'm still in my pajamas, haven't had a shower.  Do I take the time to shower?  How long will it take him to get there?  He said the ambulance wasn't there yet.  He'll have to talk to the police...."

I hurriedly get ready, then call my father-in-law and tell him the news.  He wants to follow me to the hospital.  No, no.  Can you find out where they're taking the car, and go get all the stuff out of it?

"Fiddler, look up the number of the insurance company."  My mind is so muddled right now - I know I have it somewhere, but can't think where.

In the car, down the highway.  Pray that RenRed will be okay and that the other guy will live.  Call the insurance company.  Gave the robot the wrong member number and keep getting bounced back to the same message.  Dial again.  Finally get through the maddening phone robot maze to a human voice.

Off the phone.  Oh, no!  Have I passed my exit?  Yes, I think I just passed my exit.  Great, I'll have to turn around up here.  Oh, this is it.  Yea.

At the hospital, there is nobody to be seen.  Not a solitary soul at the front desk.  I walk around the corner.  Nobody.  There's a door, and I figure if I open it, someone will come popping out to tell me I can't do that.  Door opens.  I see a friend and he waves me in.  Yes, he's a nurse who works at this little hospital ER on the weekends.  Thank you, Lord.

"We're just taking him into x-ray.  You can come see him.  He's gonna be okay"  He's pale, quiet, shaken.  But he doesn't seem to be in too much pain.

Life interrupted.

Diagnosis:  Avulsion fracture of the left tibia.  Treatment:  None.  Recovery period:  6-8 weeks.

Diagnosis:  Seat belt abrasion, contusions and swelling on both shins, laceration on left shin, burn on right thumb, neck pain, soreness all over.  Treatment:  Rest.  Recovery period:  ??

Life interrupted.

Other carThe other driver had already been convicted of 3 DUIs, has no driver's license and no auto insurance.  He was airlifted to a major trauma center where he remains in ICU.  He had a broken leg requiring surgery and probably numerous other injuries.  He is 42 years old and is well-known in his small town for his drinking and his driving while drunk.  There was an empty bottle of vodka in the car.  After being convicted in 2007 for his 3rd DUI, he was sentenced to 6 months probation.

Life interrupted.

We paid our insurance premiums.  We will pay our insurance deductible.  We paid for his helicopter ride to the ER and his treatment at the state-funded trauma center.  We will not receive enough from insurance to pay off our less than one year old vehicle.

We are not angry at him, we pray for him, we are glad he's alive.  We agonize over someone whose life is so bad that they must anesthetize themselves on a daily basis with alcohol.  Who can help a person like this?  No rehab progam can do that.  There's one thing he needs and we pray that this will draw him to the Lord.

No, we're not mad at him, but we are angry at the system that would let him back on the street to use his vehicle as a weapon and endanger other people.  There are no easy answers to the problem of drunk drivers.  There are no quick solutions for a system that has no room in its jails for these repeat offenders.

Life interrupted, but life goes on.  I have my husband.  He will heal.  We'll get another car, though perhaps not as nice.  We are not slaves to alcohol.

His life will go on.  We pray that it will not go on in the same way, down the same path.  We pray that he will change.  Please pray with us.  His name is John.

Life goes on.  Thanks for "listening".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're at Home with Heather
Shreveport and Bossier City, Louisiana Real Estate

Shreveport Home Connection
Coldwell Banker J. Wesley Dowling & Assoc. LLC

Serving your real estate needs in Shreveport, Bossier City, Benton, Haughton, Keithville, Stonewall, Blanchard, and Barksdale AFB

Licensed in Louisiana

 
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71 Comments on A Drunk + A Car = Life Interrupted.

NOV
17
2008
178,878 Points 20 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor

Heather, Bless your heart.  How scary for you and everyone in your family.  You show so much strength for helping and praying for John.  Stay strong you will some how be better and stronger once you and your family has healed from this. 

8:05pm • #1
781,208 Points 21 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Life interupted is a good phrase. I too always make an attempt to find the positive in a bad situation. Good luck on the recovery.

8:06pm • #2
325,065 Points 5 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Life may have been interrupted -- but I am sure it has enriched with a new awareness of the great value of life and those that we love.

8:12pm • #3
421,494 Points 76 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

Heather, I'd love to have some way to help these people, but quite honestly, I'm much more concerned about the rest of us who don't drive drunk.  I support the idea of some jail time for the first offense and 10 years mandatory for the second. It may not help them, but it removes them from our highways. Sorry for your experience.

8:14pm • #4
482,745 Points 1 Featured Post Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Hi Heather,  Your forgiving attitude is amazing.  I'm not sure that I would measure up to your standard. 

8:29pm • #5
149,483 Points

Wow Heather - you are very gracious towards someone I am not sure I would have such an attitude.

The car is worst I've seen and thank God your husband is ok. Thank God you were calm.

8:37pm • #6

My dear sweet Heather

First and foremost my prayers go out to RED RED(love that name) for a speedy, full recovery. Thank you dear woman for sharing this very distressing story.  I totally believe that jail time for the first offense and ten years mandatory for the second is what I would call "motivational therapy".  I agree with John that it may not help but it will remove the person abusing a substance and then driving a vehicle from our highways.

The fact that after all that you choose to forgive him and prayed for him is a testament to your faith.

You are a power of example to me and I applaud you.

 

8:46pm • #7

Bless!  I am so glad your husband's injuries were minor and even though it cost you money, hubby is alive and well and that is worth every dime it cost.

People don't think.  This young man needs your forgiveness but he also needs to know how much damage he caused and he needs to be punished in a way that he will never take this chance again.  Good luck to you and and your family, you have much to be thankful for this year!

8:50pm • #9
1 Featured Post

Heather - First, let me say I am happy that everyone is ok.  Second, wow, great Christian attitude!  You certainly have your priorities straight.

May I ask...I opened a website dealing with similar issues...MrRoadRage.com and I would love to post (copy) your blog (and also link back to here) to the blog I have attached to my website.  Would that be ok with you?  Feel free to call if you want to...803-461-4210

Also...love the phrase "life interrupted."  Of course it is not a good thing, but you used it so well...it makes such a great point which hits home.  That might be good for a bumper sticker or t-shirt in promoting my cause of helping to save lives on America's Highways...as I am looking for a catch phrase.  Can we talk about that?

8:52pm • #10
252,418 Points 3 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

I'm so grateful that you can pull the GOOD out of the wreckage and keep going... that's a wonderful testament to Life...

9:02pm • #11
1,049,205 Points 177 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Oh Heather. Thank the Lord for protecting your husband. Like you, I am glad the other guy will be okay too. Life interrupted though not in shambles. Will pick up where you left off. Money lost, money found. I'm glad your husband is okay.

9:47pm • #12

Oh my goodness Heather, thanks for sharing. Their must have been angels surrounding everyone that day. You have an amazing attitude, and may God Bless you! How sad for the driver to live such an awful life. People don't drink like that for no reason. Sad part is they also don't realize how they affect others lives either!

9:50pm • #13

Heather,

I too read every word what a powerful post! I'm relieved for you the type of injuries your husband received since they obviously could have been much worse. I don't think I've seen a car look that bad from a wreck before.

You have an incredible attitude that must bring you much peace. Thank you for sharing this story.

 

9:56pm • #14

Heather - Thank you for reminding all of us that we are truly blessed with the gift of life.  Y'all are in my prayers tonight.

9:57pm • #15
2 Featured Posts

To Everyone,

Thank you all so much for your prayers, well wishes, and words of encouragement.  Yes, if there were stiffer laws, things like this would happen less often.  I could not find in his record that he spent any measurable jail time.  He may not go to jail this time.  I have a desire to visit him in the hospital, but am not sure that would be the wisest course.  Like Valerie, I would like him to know the damage he caused, although in reality, it may not make much difference.

But more than that, I want him to know the peace I have and not have to live such a miserable life.  Only in that way will the streets of his town be really safe, because eventually he would get out of jail.

Again, thank you all.  Your words mean more to me than you can know.  RenRed is feeling much better today.

10:07pm • #16
9 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

God is such a good God. He gives us opportunities over and over even though we keep messing them up. This other driver, he keeps messing up. He is running away, but it is not working. No amount of running (or drinking) can do that. I wonder what is in his future?

I just thought about something. What if our churches had ministries where people went to minister to those who caused accidents from alcoholism? They are stuck in the hospital, after all. These people often hate themselves. I've known severe alcoholics, and I can say that despite their entitled attitudes, both of the people I knew deep down felt undeserving of grace. If there was a God who truly loved and cared about them, how could they accept it? Was anyone going to love them like that?

Jesus loved people like that. That's why people thought he was heretical. How could Jesus show mercy to those living in obvious sin (while still speaking truth in love, of course) and be upset with the Pharisees and Sadducees, who everyone at the time thought were the most righteous because of their acts and piety?

Heather, the story is just starting for you. I am sorry. I cannot imagine the financial burden, the physical pain, the immediate future. It is possible that your husband will recover but have persistent pain for the rest of his life. I have persistent back pain from two accidents from careless drivers.

I admire your submission to God and his will. It is hard to submit one's body to God's will. For your husband to say, "If this is what God allowed, I will accept it and remain faithful". It is even harder to say, "Because I know your nature, God, I know you are good, and I will glorify you even when your will costs me".

I am going to pray both for RenRed for full recovery, God willing, and for many blessings, and for John that he will encounter God. Perhaps this is the moment God prepared to bring John to him.

11:28pm • #17
NOV
18
2008
2 Featured Posts

Sara - thank you so much for your comment.  I agree with you 100%, but you said it so much better than I could have.  We are praying that God is preparing John's heart even now.  We are also praying for wisdom on whether and how to try to establish a relationship with him.

I like your idea of a ministry to people like this.  This gives me food for thought.  How do you think something like this might take shape?

8:26am • #18
588,234 Points 80 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp

Heather - it is really really hard when these things happen.  We lost a dear friend last week and wrote a tribute here on Active Rain.  The service was on Sunday... we are still shaken and sad.  It is a miracle that your husband is still alive.  Their is so much in life to be grateful for... hang in there and I hope everyone bounces back in your family from this tragedy.  Thanks for sharing : )  ~  Chris

12:45pm • #19

Heather,

Thank you for the beauty of your words. You have touched my heart. Your kindness and forgiving ways will bring you closer to your God.

That said...please use this as a good reason to get involved and help take first offenders off the roads. I do not know where to begin, but after hearing this story I will be doing some research!!

God Bless you and your faily!!
Lori

12:48pm • #20

Heather- That is a powerful story of how God's grace can work through us.  I'm not sure I would have the capacity to treat John in the way you have, Bless you for that.  I hope that your Grace is recognized and the RenRed has a full recovery from this trauma with no lasting effects.  I will pray for a full recovery and pray that John will seek the help he so clearly needs.

12:49pm • #21
179,006 Points 13 Featured Posts

Wow - thank God your husband is going to be ok.

I do not have the "forgiveness" gene that God has blessed you with.

How is it possible for somebody like this to not be in jail.

What scares me, now that I have three little kids, is that there are plenty of more "Johns" just like this guy out on the roads.

Hopefully somebody can fix the broken system, maybe you can. :)

12:51pm • #22
301,385 Points 1 Featured Post

Chilling, very, very chilling.  Life so precious.  Heather stay strong!

12:53pm • #23

What a blessing your husband is okay. It is agonizing that so many times the system seems to let things slip through the cracks and people with this kind of history can continue down the same path. Blessings to you and your family for rising above when so many would dwell on that which they can't change. You will pull out and rise up above. Your good deeds won't go unnoticed.

1:02pm • #24

I am glad that your husband is okay. Your heart and faith are bigger than mine could ever be.

1:29pm • #25
2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

If the time ever comes I hope I handle things as well as you have... 

Lets hope my metal isn't tested soon...

I wish you and your family the best..

1:37pm • #26
510,455 Points 25 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp

Heather, My heart was in my throat as I read and reread your horror. The call that we always pray will never come!  Thank God your husband and the other guy are okay.  We must all remember how precious life really is to us!  I wish you all the best and take care of yourself and your family!

1:38pm • #27
118,799 Points 2 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp

Heather,

A great lesson is here....... hopefully, we ALL hear it!

Thanks for sharing,

Kathy Opatka- REALTOR, Ocean City, MD

1:58pm • #28
100,690 Points

My dad was killed in 79 by a drunk driver so you have my complete understanding.

I'll be in Shreveport for Thanksgiving since that is where my husband is from!

You definitely have something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving!

2:05pm • #29

Heather - Like Sandy my heart was in my throat as I read.  You are a remarkable person and apparently so is your family.  You have a strength that the rest of us can only aspire to.  You have a very strong faith and that is what you have to let guide you in your decision of establishing a relationship with John.  Maybe and I'm only saying maybe you are the answer to a prayer someone in his life has offered up to God.  Renred (love the name), John, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.  Let God guide you through your heart and you will make the right decision.

 

2:07pm • #30

Wow Heather.  I am thankful for you and your Family that your Husband is OK.  I agree with so many others that I don't know if I could be as kind and forgiving if in your situation.  We can all only hope and pray to have the strength to take the high road and find it in our hearts to forgive.  God Bless! 

2:28pm • #31

Wow Heather. How awful. Yet like you say, the good side is that your husband will be OK and we should pray for John. It is sad to see someone who is so upset with their lives that they must use alcohol to escape. You and your family as well as the other gentleman, John, are in my prayers.

2:42pm • #32

Heather, I am so glad the story ended differently than I thought it would.  At a time like this you have a right to be angry because it would be justifiable.  However, it appears that God has laid on your heart to pray for this man instead.  May God bless you as you pray for John who obviously feels his life is not worth living any other way than in an alter state of being. 

2:50pm • #33
296,894 Points 17 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Heather - thank GOD your husband is safe and will heal.  I love your term life interrupted.  I had a wreck over a year ago (not my fault and other driver had no insurance), and I too was "upside down" on my SUV less than a year old. It got totalled too.  It's a hard lesson to learn - but regardless: the most important thing is to hug each other every night.  You're in my prayers.

3:13pm • #34

Great blog, It just proves that we must cherrish every moment we have with our loved ones.

3:14pm • #35
123,282 Points 1 Featured Post

Heather- So glad to hear your husband is ok and will recover.  It is sad our system lets people like John back out to have yet another "incident".  I will say a prayer for both your husband and John and healing for both.

3:38pm • #36

Hi Heather:

In all my days here at ActiveRain, this was the first post that I've read through and through, along with the comments.  And I echo the people here in sharing their their relief, good wishes and everything.  But I would like to reiterate that you have a good heart for not hating that man.  The world would understand you and your family if you do, but you chose not to.  Kudos for that.

 

Erik.

3:45pm • #37
447,206 Points 8 Featured Posts

I am glad to hear your husband is ok, that is never a call you want to get. In NJ the other driver would never be on the road legally it is a strict state when it comes to dui.

I hope everyone has a speedy recovery

3:48pm • #38

Heather, I will pray for John to change and for your husband to get well and for you both to stay strong through this.

Having spent many years as an insurance underwriter, I saw many driving records with too many violations on them. I excluded those drivers from the employer's policies. Either the employer had to get assigned risk coverage or terminate the employee. There was some suffering financially and I felt that if I could help to slow those drivers down or get them off the road, I would try.

Sherry Schneider/Keller Williams Northville, MI
4:18pm • #39
3 Featured Posts

Heather, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. I will pray for John, and also pray that this post makes someone think twice before getting into their car drunk. You sound like a wonderful, forgiving person and I wish you many blessings.

4:28pm • #40

Stay strong--thanks for increasing awareness about this issue.

5:19pm • #41
1,039,374 Points 32 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Heather, Glad to here RenRed is going to be fine.  The Drunk driver scene is a nasty one.  I lost my baby sister when she was 7...life interupted nad life GONE!

5:24pm • #42
576,445 Points 3 Featured Posts

I will certainly be praying for you and hope all will turn out well for the other guy to. I would only hope if I was in that situation that I would feel the same way. But I don't think so. Good luck and BTW redneck must be a southern thing.

5:35pm • #43
3 Featured Posts

If that was the drunk's car in the picture, why didn't they have some kind of disabling device on it? I have intimate knowledge of alcoholism from family, and remember when a loved one drove home so inebriated she couldn't get out of the car for almost half hour. She sat in the driveway, and I finally went out to see what was going on.  I couldn't believe that she drove, much less the people she was with, I couldn't believe that they let her!  I hope that your family heals and am glad that your husband is safe.

5:45pm • #44

Heather, what a powerful post.  My thoughts are with you and your family, and I deeply admire your perspective on the incident.  --Harley

6:05pm • #45

Hi Heather,

Thank you so much for sharing your powerful story with us.  It takes a lot of faith, grace and dignity to have the type of attitude that you have, and I wish there were more people in this world with this kind of attitude.  I am glad that they both survived.  I am not really a drinker, but on couple of occasions I have gotten behind the wheel while intoxicated (something that I am not proud of at all) up unitil last November.  My best friend called me while I was shopping at Circut City the day after the black friday sale.  She was really frantic on the phone, and I couldn't understand a word she was saying, so I told her that I would call her right back.  So I immediatly paid for the merchandise that I already picked out, without bothering to continue shopping.  I called her back and received a very devastating news.  She told me that her cousin was killed in a car accident.  He died of the internal bleeding to the brain.  So I asked her what happened, she told me that a driver was really intoxicated, and that he lost control of the vehicle at a high speed and hit a tree.  Her cousin was a passenger in the front sit that night, and sadly to say his life was not the only one that was cut short that night.  There was another passenger in the back who saw that they were about to hit a tree and tried getting out and the end result was his head was decapitated. The only person who survived was the driver himself.  Both of the deciesed were in their 20's.  It was the closest that it had hit home for me that day.  Ever since than I have made a vow to myself to never get behind the wheel intoxicated, which I can proudly say today I haven't.  I share this story with people every chance I get in hopes that it will have an impact on them, that they'll share that story with someone else, and in return it will save someone's life.  We need to remember that everytime that we get behind the wheel intoxicated, we are not only endangering ourselves, but others on the road as well, and that someone is somebody's child, a mother, a father, a brother, a sister, a daughter or a son. I hope that your story will also make people think twice about getting behind the wheel drunk.  I wish your husband all the best and a road to a well and quick recovery.

Sincerely,

Radmila.

6:05pm • #46
722,314 Points 47 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

God Bless you and your family and I will pray for the drunk too.  After all he needs it as much as anyone. 

6:09pm • #47
1 Featured Post Localism Sponsor

Bless your heart to interrupt your like at this time and convey your tragic story so eloquently. You have a good forgiving heart.

May the peace of the Lord be with you and your family during this trying time.

6:15pm • #48

Yet another sad story of drunk driving.  Hope you all are recovering both physically and mentally.

6:16pm • #49

Wow Heather!  What a story!  It takes courage to forgive somebody and pray for them!  I only hope to instill those values in my children!

6:51pm • #50

Heather,

Thank goodness your hubby is okay but this is downright scary----I hope the other guy never gets to drive again. 

6:58pm • #51
848,632 Points 153 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Heather, wow. My daughter was in a terrible car wreck summer 2007, the Activerain community was such a support to me. She was in ICU for 6 days and in a wheel chair for months. By the time we got her to the hospital the guy blew a .07 that was 1 1/2 later. She is fine now but it did mess her up emotionally. My assistants husband was in a wreck yesterday and totaled his car. Both had air bags, thank God or they would have been dead.

I will pray for you and Ren.

7:10pm • #52

Heather-So glad your hubby is going to be ok, God was with him that day by the looks of the auto and your story and as a AR member we are thankful for that.  We will never understand why they do not put these people out of danger to others and themselves.  Prayers for you and your husband

 

7:34pm • #53

Heather,

You are a very captive writer.  I was on the edge of my seat.  I will pray for the man in ICU and your husband as well.  Alcoholism is a terrible things.  It takes lives.  I am sorry this had to happen to your husband.  What a frightening thing.

7:35pm • #54
615,230 Points Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

We will keep you in our thoughts -- hang in there -- all the best.

7:44pm • #55
384,516 Points 28 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Heather, I'm so thankful your husband is alright and I'll say an extra prayer for you and your family tonight.  I lost my brother in law to a drunk driver.  2 drunk women, 7 am, ran a stop sign and killed him instantly.  Both women were also killed and they left behind 6 children. My brother in law left behind 2 children, and a very pregnant wife. It was horrible.  I'll never EVER forget that phone call.  Yes, shame on the system.  God bless you for having such a forgiving heart.

7:55pm • #56
Localism Sponsor

8 years ago we had the same thing happen, drunk driver, no insurance, driving stolen car.  Our insurance paid for our totaled new car, husband had surgery, hospital bills paid by us.  Drunk driver jail for 30 days, we still owed 5,000 on new car that insurance said wasn't worth pay off, thank goodness for under insured, and no insurance that we had as ridder.   You guys are in my prayers, know what you are going through!

7:57pm • #57
608,292 Points 26 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Heather - What was intended for evil, God has meant for good. Your forgivness may be exactly what breaks down the walls around John's heart so that he can change his life and there is no price tag on that. My prayers for RenRed's total recovery and that you will be blessed with a wonderful new vehicle.

9:05pm • #58
303,799 Points 39 Featured Posts Outside Blog

A few months ago our 24 year old nephew was killed by a drunk driver. He survived two tours in Iraq only to be killed in the streets of NH by a drunk driver. Not fair at all! 

9:21pm • #59
733,502 Points 136 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

My goodness, what a story!  I'm so sorry to hear about the accident and hope everyone recovers.

9:31pm • #60
Localism Sponsor

Your so lucky the other guy got the worst of it, too many times the innocent are not the ones who come through with less injuries. Your faith is amazing I would not have the strength to be so forgiving, have a blessed Thanksgiving

10:12pm • #61
5 Featured Posts Outside Blog

WOW!!! What a story. It's a miracle that everyone made it alive.

Thank you for sharing it with us.

10:20pm • #62
NOV
19
2008
9 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Hi Heather!

I'm exhausted, but I really wanted to get out this response to you:

To launch a ministry to serve this area, preparation is important. I'd recommend attending AA meetings in your area first to really get familiar with what being alcoholic means and what it is like from their experience. Who ever takes on the role to lead this ministry has the bulk of the educational need. They'll need to learn enough so that they can train others in their steps. If your church has a Celebrate Recovery (a faith-based 12 step group for addictions), meeting with the leader or pastor of Celebrate Recovery will be a good starting off point. You could create the ministry under the umbrella of your church, with their blessing, or you could branch out on your own and solicit churches in your cities for volunteers and to serve their needs.

I recommend starting small, though. Ministry doesn't have to be "official" to be ministry. Ministry can be merely speaking kind and encouraging words to someone. Ministry is acting out on the call on your heart.

If you feel like going to visit John and the hospital, do it. John probably needs friendship now more than ever. Alcoholics are often extremely lonely people. When God is nudging us to do something, we often won't know the next step until we've done the first one. Following God involves dependence on God (as scary as that can be) and you'll find that as soon as you've gone as far you you knew how to go, God will give you the next step just then. =)

Some things to keep in mind:

In ministering to those with addictions, they are very judgment/condemnation sensitive. Addicts have their own voice that reminds them continually of what they've done wrong. Even if they're not in sync with that voice, addicts have deep-seated self-shame that actually fuels the addiction. Behind the strong outward demeanor, they do not feel good enough, worthy as people. Deep down they know something is very wrong.

Love works, judgment will not. In the face of judgment, people hide from God. When they see that it is genuine, love allows people to come out from hiding.

You can control how you respond to God's leading, but you can't control how the alcoholic person responds. Our obedience to God is marked by whether we are faithful in following his leading, not in how successfully or whether or not someone we ministered to responds. This frees us from trying to minister in our own power, from trying to control the outcome, and from trying to play God. It allows us to love and let God worry about working on the person's heart.

Ministry is an ongoing process. Often one person plants seeds, and another sows.

Love given is never wasted.

A book you may want to buy for John to give him on your third or fourth visit:

The Raggamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning at Amazon for $11.19

I gave this book to an alcoholic friend in my life and she cried and read the book two times through. It was written by a Benedictine monk who struggled with alcoholism for years of his life. The book is profound and an amazing tool.

For ministry, I recommend a book that will inspire you and shake your perspective on the traditionally accepted (and stale) ministry status quo:

Secret Believers by Brother Andrew and Al Janssen at Amazon for $10.19

=) God's love!

1:39am • #63
1 Featured Post

Hi Heather!  I am so happy that your husband will be OK.  The whole drunk driving think has always frightened me and I think they need some stricter laws!  Take care of your husband & I am sending prayers your way.

6:13am • #64
2 Featured Posts

(I wrote this late last night and forgot to hit the Submit button :-} )

Once again.  Thank you all for writing.  You have blessed me far beyond what I expected.  What a testament to the community here at Active Rain.

My heart goes out to each of you that have experienced the injury or death of someone close because of a drunk driver.  The stories are tragic.  Monika, your nephew's story is especially heart-wrenching.

Many of you have said that you could not forgive or pray for the other driver.  Perhaps I would feel differently if RenRed had been injured more severely or killed.  But I hope not.  I believe that God is in control, and that is what enabled me to focus rather than panic.  I have been forgiven and loved much, and that is what I want John to experience.  As wrong as he was to get behind the wheel of that car, he did not set out to hurt anyone.  I must remember that and extend the grace that God has extended to me.

RenRed is doing much better physically - thank you for the prayers.  He still has difficulty at night when he tries to sleep.  His mind goes back to the seconds before impact....  Only time will help this, so I talk to him about other things until he falls asleep.  Which is where I should be right now.

Thank you all again.  What a blessing you all are!

6:59am • #65
NOV
20
2008
134,342 Points 3 Featured Posts Outside Blog

You and your family are in my prayers.  This made me cry to be honest.

7:26pm • #66
NOV
24
2008
2 Featured Posts

Melody, thanks for stopping by and thank you for praying.

7:26am • #67
DEC
06
2008
105,867 Points

Truly chilling story as is some of stories in the comments.  I am glad that everyone is alive.  I am completely disgusted that we cannot get this drunk driving issue under control.  It is their perogative to drink - I do not understand why they think that they can drive impaired.  And drivers impaired with prescription drugs is a growing issue.

11:40pm • #68
DEC
07
2008
2 Featured Posts

Margaret, it is an issue that is very difficult to control.  It is unbelievably hard.  I have been amazed at the number of people who have been involved with a drunk driver or know someone close who has.  It's very tragic.

8:08am • #69
255,820 Points 3 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Heather, Thank God your husband is ok and that the other driver was not killed! So often it ends up with the drunk surviving and the innocent other driver not so lucky. I agree that the system is antiquated and needs an overhaul and that far too many offenders are out in cars when they should not be. Unfortunately only the person can decide they are an alcoholic and choose to allow God to help them...I have seen many incurables be cured of this disease, but only with the help of God. My family has alcoholism prominently in our history and I have watched the battles up close. I broke my back(after 3 surgeries I am fine) in a car wreck involving a drunk driver in my late teens. Bless you and your husband for praying for John, he truly needs it, it took me a long time to forgive and understand when it happened to me. I too will say a prayer that he finds his bottom and surrenders and that no one loses their life in the process. So glad everyone will be ok.

GBU

8:12am • #70
2 Featured Posts

Vanessa, thank you for that hear-felt comment.  I spoke with John today and he conveyed his apologies for what he did, but I know that regret is not enough to make him change.  I totally agree with you that the only way his life will change is if God intervenes and John has nowhere to go but up.  We don't know where he will be going once he is able to leave the hospital.  Maybe to jail - hopefully not back in a car.

5:39pm • #71

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Heather Goodwin ~ Shreveport Louisiana Real Estate

Shreveport, LA

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Nest Realty

Address: Shreveport, LA, 71106

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