The call came mid-morning Saturday as I sat browsing the internet (probably Active Rain, though I don't remember) sipping a cup of coffee.  I had been scheduled for phone duty at 9:00, but a co-worker had called the afternoon before asking to switch.  No problem.  My husband, RenRed (short for Renaissance Redneck), would be glad to hear that.  With two teenagers and only three cars on the weekends, vehicles were in short supply.

"Hey, honey.  I don't have to go into work until 2:30, so I won't need the car.  You can use it if you need it."  I knew he would take advantage of the opportunity to go down to his dad's rural East Texas hunting camp.  How I wish I had that 9:00 phone duty slot back.

So, as I was saying, I'm surfing the 'net.  Ring.  Ring.  I pick up the phone, look at the display, but don't recognize the long distance number.  No big deal.  We've gotten so many political survey calls lately....

"Hey, I've been in a bad accident....  No, I think I'm gonna be okay.... They're gonna take me to the hospital....  I think the other guy's dead....  The car's totaled....  No, it wasn't....  He crossed the center line....  Yeah, meet me at the hopital."Our car

The hospital - 30 minutes away.  "FIDDLER, I need you!!!"

"What do you want?" from Fiddler, the 16 year-old.

"I NEED YOU!  NOW!!  Here, look up the directions to the hospital and print them out for me.  Then get me the Shelby County sheriff's office phone number."

I dash in a daze to the bedroom - I'm still in my pajamas, haven't had a shower.  Do I take the time to shower?  How long will it take him to get there?  He said the ambulance wasn't there yet.  He'll have to talk to the police...."

I hurriedly get ready, then call my father-in-law and tell him the news.  He wants to follow me to the hospital.  No, no.  Can you find out where they're taking the car, and go get all the stuff out of it?

"Fiddler, look up the number of the insurance company."  My mind is so muddled right now - I know I have it somewhere, but can't think where.

In the car, down the highway.  Pray that RenRed will be okay and that the other guy will live.  Call the insurance company.  Gave the robot the wrong member number and keep getting bounced back to the same message.  Dial again.  Finally get through the maddening phone robot maze to a human voice.

Off the phone.  Oh, no!  Have I passed my exit?  Yes, I think I just passed my exit.  Great, I'll have to turn around up here.  Oh, this is it.  Yea.

At the hospital, there is nobody to be seen.  Not a solitary soul at the front desk.  I walk around the corner.  Nobody.  There's a door, and I figure if I open it, someone will come popping out to tell me I can't do that.  Door opens.  I see a friend and he waves me in.  Yes, he's a nurse who works at this little hospital ER on the weekends.  Thank you, Lord.

"We're just taking him into x-ray.  You can come see him.  He's gonna be okay"  He's pale, quiet, shaken.  But he doesn't seem to be in too much pain.

Life interrupted.

Diagnosis:  Avulsion fracture of the left tibia.  Treatment:  None.  Recovery period:  6-8 weeks.

Diagnosis:  Seat belt abrasion, contusions and swelling on both shins, laceration on left shin, burn on right thumb, neck pain, soreness all over.  Treatment:  Rest.  Recovery period:  ??

Life interrupted.

Other carThe other driver had already been convicted of 3 DUIs, has no driver's license and no auto insurance.  He was airlifted to a major trauma center where he remains in ICU.  He had a broken leg requiring surgery and probably numerous other injuries.  He is 42 years old and is well-known in his small town for his drinking and his driving while drunk.  There was an empty bottle of vodka in the car.  After being convicted in 2007 for his 3rd DUI, he was sentenced to 6 months probation.

Life interrupted.

We paid our insurance premiums.  We will pay our insurance deductible.  We paid for his helicopter ride to the ER and his treatment at the state-funded trauma center.  We will not receive enough from insurance to pay off our less than one year old vehicle.

We are not angry at him, we pray for him, we are glad he's alive.  We agonize over someone whose life is so bad that they must anesthetize themselves on a daily basis with alcohol.  Who can help a person like this?  No rehab progam can do that.  There's one thing he needs and we pray that this will draw him to the Lord.

No, we're not mad at him, but we are angry at the system that would let him back on the street to use his vehicle as a weapon and endanger other people.  There are no easy answers to the problem of drunk drivers.  There are no quick solutions for a system that has no room in its jails for these repeat offenders.

Life interrupted, but life goes on.  I have my husband.  He will heal.  We'll get another car, though perhaps not as nice.  We are not slaves to alcohol.

His life will go on.  We pray that it will not go on in the same way, down the same path.  We pray that he will change.  Please pray with us.  His name is John.

Life goes on.  Thanks for "listening".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're at Home with Heather
Shreveport and Bossier City, Louisiana Real Estate

Shreveport Home Connection
Coldwell Banker J. Wesley Dowling & Assoc. LLC

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71 Comments on A Drunk + A Car = Life Interrupted.

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

NOV
18
2008
874,487 Points 154 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Heather, wow. My daughter was in a terrible car wreck summer 2007, the Activerain community was such a support to me. She was in ICU for 6 days and in a wheel chair for months. By the time we got her to the hospital the guy blew a .07 that was 1 1/2 later. She is fine now but it did mess her up emotionally. My assistants husband was in a wreck yesterday and totaled his car. Both had air bags, thank God or they would have been dead.

I will pray for you and Ren.

7:10pm • #52

Heather-So glad your hubby is going to be ok, God was with him that day by the looks of the auto and your story and as a AR member we are thankful for that.  We will never understand why they do not put these people out of danger to others and themselves.  Prayers for you and your husband

 

7:34pm • #53

Heather,

You are a very captive writer.  I was on the edge of my seat.  I will pray for the man in ICU and your husband as well.  Alcoholism is a terrible things.  It takes lives.  I am sorry this had to happen to your husband.  What a frightening thing.

7:35pm • #54
650,291 Points Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

We will keep you in our thoughts -- hang in there -- all the best.

7:44pm • #55
389,734 Points 28 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Heather, I'm so thankful your husband is alright and I'll say an extra prayer for you and your family tonight.  I lost my brother in law to a drunk driver.  2 drunk women, 7 am, ran a stop sign and killed him instantly.  Both women were also killed and they left behind 6 children. My brother in law left behind 2 children, and a very pregnant wife. It was horrible.  I'll never EVER forget that phone call.  Yes, shame on the system.  God bless you for having such a forgiving heart.

7:55pm • #56
Localism Sponsor

8 years ago we had the same thing happen, drunk driver, no insurance, driving stolen car.  Our insurance paid for our totaled new car, husband had surgery, hospital bills paid by us.  Drunk driver jail for 30 days, we still owed 5,000 on new car that insurance said wasn't worth pay off, thank goodness for under insured, and no insurance that we had as ridder.   You guys are in my prayers, know what you are going through!

7:57pm • #57
872,258 Points 47 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Heather - What was intended for evil, God has meant for good. Your forgivness may be exactly what breaks down the walls around John's heart so that he can change his life and there is no price tag on that. My prayers for RenRed's total recovery and that you will be blessed with a wonderful new vehicle.

9:05pm • #58
315,754 Points 39 Featured Posts Outside Blog

A few months ago our 24 year old nephew was killed by a drunk driver. He survived two tours in Iraq only to be killed in the streets of NH by a drunk driver. Not fair at all! 

9:21pm • #59
823,700 Points 155 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

My goodness, what a story!  I'm so sorry to hear about the accident and hope everyone recovers.

9:31pm • #60
Localism Sponsor

Your so lucky the other guy got the worst of it, too many times the innocent are not the ones who come through with less injuries. Your faith is amazing I would not have the strength to be so forgiving, have a blessed Thanksgiving

10:12pm • #61
5 Featured Posts Outside Blog

WOW!!! What a story. It's a miracle that everyone made it alive.

Thank you for sharing it with us.

10:20pm • #62
NOV
19
2008
9 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Hi Heather!

I'm exhausted, but I really wanted to get out this response to you:

To launch a ministry to serve this area, preparation is important. I'd recommend attending AA meetings in your area first to really get familiar with what being alcoholic means and what it is like from their experience. Who ever takes on the role to lead this ministry has the bulk of the educational need. They'll need to learn enough so that they can train others in their steps. If your church has a Celebrate Recovery (a faith-based 12 step group for addictions), meeting with the leader or pastor of Celebrate Recovery will be a good starting off point. You could create the ministry under the umbrella of your church, with their blessing, or you could branch out on your own and solicit churches in your cities for volunteers and to serve their needs.

I recommend starting small, though. Ministry doesn't have to be "official" to be ministry. Ministry can be merely speaking kind and encouraging words to someone. Ministry is acting out on the call on your heart.

If you feel like going to visit John and the hospital, do it. John probably needs friendship now more than ever. Alcoholics are often extremely lonely people. When God is nudging us to do something, we often won't know the next step until we've done the first one. Following God involves dependence on God (as scary as that can be) and you'll find that as soon as you've gone as far you you knew how to go, God will give you the next step just then. =)

Some things to keep in mind:

In ministering to those with addictions, they are very judgment/condemnation sensitive. Addicts have their own voice that reminds them continually of what they've done wrong. Even if they're not in sync with that voice, addicts have deep-seated self-shame that actually fuels the addiction. Behind the strong outward demeanor, they do not feel good enough, worthy as people. Deep down they know something is very wrong.

Love works, judgment will not. In the face of judgment, people hide from God. When they see that it is genuine, love allows people to come out from hiding.

You can control how you respond to God's leading, but you can't control how the alcoholic person responds. Our obedience to God is marked by whether we are faithful in following his leading, not in how successfully or whether or not someone we ministered to responds. This frees us from trying to minister in our own power, from trying to control the outcome, and from trying to play God. It allows us to love and let God worry about working on the person's heart.

Ministry is an ongoing process. Often one person plants seeds, and another sows.

Love given is never wasted.

A book you may want to buy for John to give him on your third or fourth visit:

The Raggamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning at Amazon for $11.19

I gave this book to an alcoholic friend in my life and she cried and read the book two times through. It was written by a Benedictine monk who struggled with alcoholism for years of his life. The book is profound and an amazing tool.

For ministry, I recommend a book that will inspire you and shake your perspective on the traditionally accepted (and stale) ministry status quo:

Secret Believers by Brother Andrew and Al Janssen at Amazon for $10.19

=) God's love!

1:39am • #63
1 Featured Post

Hi Heather!  I am so happy that your husband will be OK.  The whole drunk driving think has always frightened me and I think they need some stricter laws!  Take care of your husband & I am sending prayers your way.

6:13am • #64
2 Featured Posts

(I wrote this late last night and forgot to hit the Submit button :-} )

Once again.  Thank you all for writing.  You have blessed me far beyond what I expected.  What a testament to the community here at Active Rain.

My heart goes out to each of you that have experienced the injury or death of someone close because of a drunk driver.  The stories are tragic.  Monika, your nephew's story is especially heart-wrenching.

Many of you have said that you could not forgive or pray for the other driver.  Perhaps I would feel differently if RenRed had been injured more severely or killed.  But I hope not.  I believe that God is in control, and that is what enabled me to focus rather than panic.  I have been forgiven and loved much, and that is what I want John to experience.  As wrong as he was to get behind the wheel of that car, he did not set out to hurt anyone.  I must remember that and extend the grace that God has extended to me.

RenRed is doing much better physically - thank you for the prayers.  He still has difficulty at night when he tries to sleep.  His mind goes back to the seconds before impact....  Only time will help this, so I talk to him about other things until he falls asleep.  Which is where I should be right now.

Thank you all again.  What a blessing you all are!

6:59am • #65
NOV
20
2008
135,448 Points 4 Featured Posts Outside Blog

You and your family are in my prayers.  This made me cry to be honest.

7:26pm • #66
NOV
24
2008
2 Featured Posts

Melody, thanks for stopping by and thank you for praying.

7:26am • #67
DEC
06
2008
130,099 Points

Truly chilling story as is some of stories in the comments.  I am glad that everyone is alive.  I am completely disgusted that we cannot get this drunk driving issue under control.  It is their perogative to drink - I do not understand why they think that they can drive impaired.  And drivers impaired with prescription drugs is a growing issue.

11:40pm • #68
DEC
07
2008
2 Featured Posts

Margaret, it is an issue that is very difficult to control.  It is unbelievably hard.  I have been amazed at the number of people who have been involved with a drunk driver or know someone close who has.  It's very tragic.

8:08am • #69
276,814 Points 3 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Heather, Thank God your husband is ok and that the other driver was not killed! So often it ends up with the drunk surviving and the innocent other driver not so lucky. I agree that the system is antiquated and needs an overhaul and that far too many offenders are out in cars when they should not be. Unfortunately only the person can decide they are an alcoholic and choose to allow God to help them...I have seen many incurables be cured of this disease, but only with the help of God. My family has alcoholism prominently in our history and I have watched the battles up close. I broke my back(after 3 surgeries I am fine) in a car wreck involving a drunk driver in my late teens. Bless you and your husband for praying for John, he truly needs it, it took me a long time to forgive and understand when it happened to me. I too will say a prayer that he finds his bottom and surrenders and that no one loses their life in the process. So glad everyone will be ok.

GBU

8:12am • #70
2 Featured Posts

Vanessa, thank you for that hear-felt comment.  I spoke with John today and he conveyed his apologies for what he did, but I know that regret is not enough to make him change.  I totally agree with you that the only way his life will change is if God intervenes and John has nowhere to go but up.  We don't know where he will be going once he is able to leave the hospital.  Maybe to jail - hopefully not back in a car.

5:39pm • #71

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Heather Goodwin

GoodWin Team Realty

Shreveport, LA

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Address: Shreveport, LA, 71106

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