You might be a redneck if you chip a tooth opening a beer bottle.

You might be a redneck if your porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and find a car.

You might be a redneck if your dog farts and you claim it.

You might be a redneck if you have had a relative get killed by kudzu.

You might be a redneck if your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

You might be a redneck if there is a gun rack on your bicycle.

You might be a redneck if.....

you have ever raked leaves in the kitchen.

you can spit without opening your mouth.

you mow your lawn and find a car.

you have to go down to the creek to take a bath.

your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

you own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

you use your fishing licenses as a form of ID.

your secret family recipe is illegal.

you take a fishing pole to Sea World.

there are more fish on your wall than there are photos.

your house has a kickstand.

you don't think Jeff Foxworthy's jokes are funny.

you have barnyard animals living in your house.

you think Wal-Mart is expensive.

you have ever written a check for less than a dollar.

your dog is your alarm clock.

you keep your teeth and your goldfish in the same glass.

you have a bowling machine in your kitchen.

you pick up your girlfriend on a bike for prom.

one of your kids was born on a pool table.

your favorite fruit is chicken.

your momma has more tattoos than you do.

your gun cabinet takes up half of your living room.

you need a dictionary to spell your name.

you don't change your socks until the first pair rots off.