Dear Santa,
I've been a pretty decent boy this year. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you how perfect I've been, just so I can get a new wii unit & a GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip in my stocking...wouldn't work anyway: you know different.
All in all, when you put it up on a spreadsheet, I haven't caused a whole lot of pain & suffering, so please don't give me a bunch of coal.
HOWEVER, if I have to listen to any of these songs during the next few months (or ever again for that matter), ALL BETS ARE OFF!
The Rixl*@!Frackin%##!!! Titanic Song
I know this is the time of year for kindness and all that, and yes, we're supposed to love our neighbors...but if I ever have a Canadian client who believes she's a national treasure, I'm going to have to take them very deep into the desert & leave them.
Muskrat Love
I can't believe that these two don't have bodies buried somewhere on their property. Something's just not right at all with Captain & Tennille. Serial Killers hiding as washed up Pop Stars.
The Logical Song
Every time I hear this tune, I want to kick this singer right in the...well, maybe someone beat me to it. His voice is already kind of high.
The Warrior
Sombody please tell me that the 80's will never make it in "Retro Fashion" PLEASE!
I Write The Songs
This is what happens when you have a society that does too many drugs...people actually paid money to hear this dreck! Isn't this guy supposed to be buried next to Dick Clark?
Mambo Number 5
Santa, Lou Bega is a great musician, the song isn't all that bad...glad to see he made some money...but talk about o-v-e-r-p-l-a-y-e-d! I worked in bars with jukeboxes when this came out. After having to hear it 300 times a day over the period of 6 months, it is anathema to me. The jukebox repairman finally figured out that the plug was OK, we just kept taking the wires off of the connections!
I Will Always Love You
Whitney, no wonder Bobby Brown was high and angry all the time. Put a cork in it! For the sake of humanity!
So, Santa...like I said, I've been a pretty decent human being this year, and probably will make it through the holidays without a major mishap as long as I don't have to listen to any of these between now and then (I had to be pretty quick with the mute button when searching YouTube to find these--came pretty close when the phone rang).
Please, if you can look at my overall record, you'll see that I haven't been that bad of a guy, really...just a few miscues and errors in judgement (but I've learned from them) here & there. I don't want much, just a memory upgrade for my laptop so it will run a little faster for work.
Sincerely,
P.S. Some jerk next door just played that "Humps" song by the Black-Eyed Peas. Forget the laptop, gimme a shotgun. I promise not to use Rudolph for target practice.
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