Melbourne, Florida  - Anthony and Carmine Sarducci have been through 6 realtors, 14 open houses, 12 showings, 36 months on the Brevard County MLS and nearly a year of attempting to obtain a property tax exemption based on "religious" use.

They were disappointed this past Monday to learn their claim for exemption was thrown out and deemed "legally insufficient" by Brevard County taxing authorities. But in spite of the controversy, they remain confident they will get the exemption and the $349,900 (Zillow valued at $50,000) they are asking for their modest 1200 square foot home.

According to Mr. Sarducci, a truck driver for Martin's Potato Rolls, "Our home has been blessed by extraterrestrial beings and should be exempted as a place of worship." 

"And as for the price, we got something nobody else in town's got.  We got a crop circle out in the front yard and chicken tracks in the kitchen from the night we was visited by them aliens.  We're pretty sure they came during the night of my 40th birthday party," Mr. Sarducci continued.

"Carmine had this huge surprise party for me and 40 or 50 of my biker friends came over.  We stayed up until about 2:00 am then went to bed.  We didn't notice anything odd until the next day."  

When the couple arose at approximately 1:30 pm the following afternoon, they discovered a dead chicken in the middle of the kitchen floor with black paint all over its feet and an unusual "chicken scratch" pattern on the walls and cabinets.

"We definitely believe it's the work of extraterrestrials," noted Carmine. I think they landed sometime during the night, made the crop circle out front, came through that broken window over there and did their work." 

"They must have dipped the chicken's feet in the can of black paint I was using for Tony's "over the hill" decorations and let it run wild all over my kitchen.  When it was done running around, they obviously wrung the poor thing's neck and left it on the floor. I'm just glad there wasn't any probing involved, or at least I don't think there was."

"The point everybody's missing is that these items add a ton of value to our home" Mr. Sarducci continued.  "We've got a friggin' shrine here. All the real estate people keep telling us to reduce the price, but I smell a commission check.  We ain't giving our house away.  Somebody's gonna come along and realize what we have here"

The Sarduccis concluded by saying they "won't take a penny less than their $349,900 asking price."  They plan to hire an attorney for the property tax exemption matter as soon as Mr. Sarducci's Worker's Compensation funds are released. 

Disclaimer:  This "News Item" is a work of (comic relief) fiction.  Only the MLS photos are real.  Any resemblance between the characters, persons or Realtors® is purely coincidental.