Managing Meltdowns

Something Is In The Air
I'm not sure what it is, but there's something in the air.  Perhaps the stars are arranged just so, or the elections bothered people more than they thought, or maybe it's because the moon is at its closest point in 100 years (it is, you know), but whatever it is, something is up.  EVERYONE is melting down.  Over the last month I have had to comfort on average one person every other day who was in meltdown mode.  And on one of the few days when it wasn't me having to comfort someone else, I was having my own meltdown about being over done from being "on duty" for all of these meltdowns.

It's Going Around
So, if you're feeling a little more blue, or stressed, or panicked, or exhausted, or anything else these last few weeks, you are not alone.  It seems to be going around.  And remember, when it's going around, it means that your clients are likely feeling it too.

Just Listen
Often when people melt down, it's over stuff that we can't do anything about.  Their lives aren't going they way that they want, their relationship has ended, someone has died, they are having their midlife crisis and feeling like they haven't accomplished anything, etc.  In these instances, we have to remember that we don't have to DO anything.  It is usually enough just to listen.  Reminding the person to not be so hard on themselves or offering up examples of how their life is going well are often helpful too.  But don't overlook the power of simply listening and saying little other than "and how did that feel?" or "tell me more about that" or "I hear that you're really upset about that".  Just feeling heard can be more healing to most people than any advice you can offer. And don't overlook the power of a comforting hug, squeeze on the shoulder, or pat on the back.  Just your physical presence can be of huge comfort.   

What We Can Do To Help
If there are things to be done, then see if you have the time to help.  Notice I didn't say "do them".  One of the things I am seeing right now is that everyone seems to be stressed.  Which means, know your limits.  Know how much you can commit to and do NO MORE.  I recently met a new friend who is having many issues in her life.  She needs a lot of help.  I wanted to be of service, but I am already over committed in my own life, so I had to be honest with myself and her about what I could offer.  I told her that I couldn't be her main support person, but that I was happy to connect her into several of the communities that I belonged to where I got my support in the hopes that she could find what she needed there.  She was relieved to hear my answer.  It seems she has burned out several people in the past and having an entire community to spread herself over felt safer than relying on a single person.   The moral of this story:  be clear about what you can do and then do that.  Good boundaries make good friendships.

Make Time For You
This time of year, with the holidays approaching and things speeding up is always stressful.  Don't forget to give yourself the gift of a little downtime.  Get a massage, take a walk, go for a bike ride, visit with a friend (one who isn't melting down), see a movie.  It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you do something relaxing and renewing.  After all, you can't be present for anyone else if you are not taking care of yourself.

Taking Care of Business
Part of taking care of yourself is setting us systems in your business so that you don't have to work as hard.  Take some time this season as business slows down to put your systems in place for next year.  Let us help.  Our Procedures Manual for Agents has systems already pre-created for you.

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Kelle Sparta is the author of The Consultative Real Estate Agent - Building Relationships that Create Loyal Clients, Get More Referrals, and Increase Your Sales, as well as being a speaker and trainer specializing in the real estate industry. Kelle is the founder of Sparta Success Systems, a real estate training company that provides products, coaching and training to empower agents and brokers to create lives and businesses they can love. For more information, visit her website at http://www.spartasuccess.com/. © 2008, Kelle Sparta.