I am thankful but..can't everyone help?

Yes so many people come and don't do anything but sit and eat.  No washing dishes, no clearing the table.  Just wait on me

What'dya want me to bring? 

Seriously, since you are a self confessed "wuss" when it comes to standing up for yourself, you get what you allow others to do to you.  So I would suggest that you "hire" the backbone.  Have a family member (hubby, brother, sister, kid, etc.) handle the scheduling and the posting and enforcement of the new house rules:

Take your post above, itemize it and have your "enforcer" make sure your guests are in compliance.  You don't become the dumpee and you also don't play the heavy.

My 2c worth.

Could you try to re-institute the young ones washing up?  Blessings to you for being willing to serve your familly in this way.

Suzanne, it pays to set the expectations. You can do it, even with friends and family that are unacustomed to pitching in. Give them a little chat when they come in, I've got a lot on my mind and likely won't recall which plate/dish you brought, so if you don't want Aunt Mary's old pie plate instead of your new one, please be sure to pick it up. Ditto on the I need help in clean up. Say I really want to be able to enjoy your company. Let's visit in the kitchen while cleaning up and then we'll have a chance to sit a spell and continue our visit.

The holiday is not so much fun when you have all the responsibility. Maybe you should "Just say NO" to one of the two high days. Good luck.

For the people who bring dishes, get some color dot stickers. When they get there, put a dot on the bottom of the dish, and tell them that that way you can keep track of their stuff after we all wash and dry the dishes after dinner. Red for sis, blue for auntie. Another trick is to hold off on serving desert until the dishes are done.

I want your stuffing/dressing recipe!  I need a snack now since I read your description on Dean's blog, it is making me hungry!  Please send me a link!

I like the idea of enlisting someone else to be the enforcer. Some folks just need to be directed, especially since they are in someone else's house, they might feel timid about taking charge of a project. So if you have an enforcer who puts a towel in their hand and says dry these, and puts someone at the sink and says wash these, maybe some of your workload will be lightened. 

There is an amish saying "Many hands make for light work", they don't mention the enforcer :)  Hopefully it will work out better for you this year. It is at least worth a try.

I am the enforcer for my Mom.  I send out her menu list and ask folks to put there name by what they are bringing.  It does amaze me how some feel they can show up, eat, visit, leave and offer to bring only a simple dish for a family of several.  I just don't think some people get it!  Anyway, we struggle through those times because they are family and we want to enjoy those days with the ones we love the most.  Good luck this year.

Suzanne...

Sounds like you NEED to get some help. I do all of the cooking here at home, including all of the holiday baking etc but I have plenty of help cleaning up and that makes all of the difference in the world!

Suzanne - It can be stressful and frustrating.  I think for the most part the majority of our "feasts" the workload is spread pretty evenly - I learned over the years to not hesitate in asking someone for help as well. Or making a statement directly in front of the crowd - that "OK It's YOUR Turn to Load the dishwasher! " My kids were all brought up that they need to help out whenever and whereever and it is fun to see (and makes me proud) when we  have these FEasts, they are johnny on the spot helping mom and dad or wherever they can. SOmetimes I value their help keeping the smaller kids entertained more than in other areas! Don't be shy - ask for that help! Scoot someone off their butt! What are they going to do leave?  nope - and you'll find they will help MORE because the do not want to be CALLED out on the spot again! I love holidays and the gatherings...

Suzanne,

Our get togethers are mostly a family set-up and clean-up event.....no matter the site.

Have a great Thanksgiving.

Suzanne, honey...you need rules!  Here's a few tips to help you out.

1.  Keep the booze in the kitchen--especially the good stuff.  People who help deserve a cocktail or four.

2.  If you wash it twice, it's yours.  As soon as your relatives hear about this rule, they will bring disposable containers that don't require any washing.  :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Suzanne, perhaps if I had commented on this one earlier, you might have gotten your first feature.  It was well-written.