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Celebrating the Introvert Within

A New Group at Active Rain!!

What's the Difference Between an Extrovert and an Introvert? An Extrovert is someone who gets his or her energy from being around others; an Introvert is someone who is energized by being alone. Conversely, when an Extrovert is left alone for long periods of time, he becomes lethargic. An Introvert will be exhausted and drained after a day of social interaction.

I'm an introvert. INTJ, for those of you familiar with Myer's Briggs. And I'm finally proud of it. Contrary to popular belief, an introvert is not necessarily shy, withdrawn or unfriendly, we're just... sometimes socially uncomfortable. Small talk is a foreign language to us. We need time to ourselves, we need privacy, we need space. And because we jealously protect our OWN privacy and personal space, we are, perhaps, overly sensitive to the space and privacy needs of others. Which, unfortunately, is often misinterpreted as arrogance or stand-offish-ness.

Many of us gravitate toward "advisor" positions and shy away from the world of sales. After all, isn't extroversion a requirement of a successful salesperson?

NO!

We introverts can absolutely succeed in a sales career, particularly real estate. In fact, we can be great, but only if we're GOOD. Good at the details, good at the paperwork, good at negotiating, good at the follow up. If we can't distract & dazzle them with our charm, we can still blow them away with our competency.

You are probably already a bit of a stickler for details. You are probably already reliable, organized and efficient. These skills will take you much further than you might suspect in your real estate career. And you know what? Your introversion will probably be a big factor in your success. If you consider traditional real estate prospecting and closing techniques too invasive and assumptive for your personality, you will develop your own style that, as a by-product, shows respect for your prospects and clients. You will treat them as if they are intelligent human beings, which they will truly appreciate and find refreshing.

If this sounds like something you'd like to know more about, please join us at Active Rain's newest group: Introverts are (Sales) People, Too! (Please be on time, we're a punctual bunch).

Posted by Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul on 04/21/2007 09:01 AM

Comments (55)

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Originally posted at: Selling Soulfully with Jennifer Allan: Celebrating the Introvert Within

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55 Comments on Celebrating the Introvert Within

APR

2007

I'm an ENFP. But the E was once an I, and is still boderline today. I've taken the Meyers-Briggs a few different times in my life. It's a great tool to help you understand who you are.

Hi, my nake is Randy and I'm a introvert. Your post described me perfectly.

Hi Jennifer,

I just took that Myers-Briggs test, one of my sisters mentioned it to me. I am an introvert as well, but I've known that my whole life. I'll have to look up the initials it gave me, but I know the first two were "IN", and there was an "s" in there, too.

I found this test and the results quite interesting, and probably more accurate than any other type of "personality" test I've ever taken. I printed up all the results and extra reading - I'll have to pull that out again and take a look at it. I just did this test about 2 weeks ago. Helped explain a lot, that's for sure!

Punctual? You got that!! ;-)

Ann

Hi my name is Maureen and I am an introvert

INTP

To me my introverted brethren (and sisteren... spell check would like me to use cistern ) seem so much smarter than the "others."

Maureen... Laughing Out Loud!!!

Actually, this is something I advise my like-minded clients & friends to look for... the more intelligent people out there seem to appreciate us and our personalities more than the "others".

So... here's Tip #1 from our new forum: Focus Your Prospecting Efforts on Smart People!

What a great group. I couldn't agree more with the post and comments to this point.

If I might add to your 1st Tip, Jennifer....maybe a more accurate statement would be to 'Focus your Prospecting Efforts on Like-minded people'

Thank you AGAIN!!! for a great topic.

Yeah, but, but, but... my way is more controversial... which makes it more fun!

Ok..........true. But, I think that my way is more 'introverted'.....LOL Besides, I like the idea that we are 'smart people'.

Good Morning!!!

Loved your post. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is an awesome tool which I have used for years. However, I believe there are some gray filled areas in the "types" that allow you to move back and forth (from let's say....I to E) given certain sets of circumstances. For example, I have been typed an ENTJ but I often have HEAVY....and I mean HEAVY "I" tendencies. Anyone else "swing" between E an I ?? Will I be allowed to join the group if I am not a pure I?

Yes, you may join the group as long as you promise to recognize the intellectual superiority of the "I's"

JUST KIDDING!!!!

Please do!!!!

APR

2007

I am an extrovert, but after a long day of selling I find it hard to talk to anyone, I think I use up my 10,000 words. So maybe deep down inside there is an introvert wanting to get out.

If the information you gain from Meyers Briggs helps you understand how to use your natural ability, then it is a great tool. Too many people use their label as an excuse to explain why they can't suceed in a particular field. This is all to say, GREAT JOB GUYS, you know you would rather be at home reading or watching TV, but you are out their knocking the socks off your customers!

APR

2007

I think I'm both an Extrovert and an Introvert...is this possible. I am a HUGE people person, and love chatting with people, learning about them and making them feel good too (it makes me feel good). However; sometimes I just can't deal with people too much (of course I don't let them know that, I put my happy face on). Sometimes people just bother me and get on my nerves, and I'm better off alone.

I also find it slightly amusing that you are making a group for introverts, none the less a very good idea. Some people find it much easier to communicate online instead of the face to face. No need for small talk here! :)

Yep - you can be both! Most people have traits of both personalities. Most people who meet me don't believe I'm an introvert - because I can be outgoing and charming and even a little bit charismatic. But it wears me out and I need a nap afterwards.

I live my life online and I enjoy it very much. I have dear friends I've never met or even spoken to.

But, anyway, we introverts are terrifically insightful and creative. We need to celebrate these traits and make them work FOR us in our real estate careers. That's the purpose for this forum... to share ideas and help each other shift our paradigms away from what "traditional" sales has always been...

I LOVE THIS POST!!! I am an introvert and have been told that I'm too "quiet" to be in sales. That you have to be bubbly and amusing. I'm glad to find that there ARE great agents who are introverts. I'm not doing too badly either!

Jennifer - is it possible to be a cross of both...... i am a gemini, and kinda feel a gravity to both. ron

APR

2007

Ron - absolutely. You have the best of both worlds!

Linda - I've never really thought of real estate as "sales." So, being quiet is probably a refreshing change for your clients who are prepared for a noisy, chattery "sales"person!

I just want to say "I AM NOT CRAZY". Seriously. They're people out there just like me. :) and they sale real estate. I am fairly new to real estate and I realized early on that my personality did not match the coaching/ training style I was given. I would rather die than to knock on a stranger's door. I began to question my decision for real estate. I would hear if you can't cold call, door knock, or hunt people down you may need to rethink real estate. Luckily, I began to locate books that talk to introverts in selling positions. That is the best thing I could have done. I do not feel like a weirdo because I am not extroverted any longer. I am now comfortable in who I am and I can now grow my business from being a introvert.

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Just in case you weren't 100% certain...

Don't bother with sales training seminars. They'll just discourage you.

Have you found books (other than mine) that talk about introverted selling?

I found a book called "Confessions of an Introvert" and "What is holding you back". I don't remember the author's names, but I can get that for you if you like to have them. Both books were more about networking and meeting people rather than selling, but it still help me with techniques I could use when meeting "strangers" Because those books were so generalized, your book helped me because really talked about selling real estate.

Jennifer - wow.... i have been reading your blogs and posting simple comments.... i read 2 comments above that you have your own book..... yes??? is it likely to carried by Borders or Barnes n Noble??? thanks.! ron

Ron,

I love your simple "comments". I'll take an "awesome post" anytime I can get one.

Yeah, I have a book... Sell with Soul. I'm pretty darn proud of it. It's not at bookstores, but it's on Amazon.com - or you can get an autographed version from my website - www.sellwithsoul.com .

Jennifer - thank you for the kind words.... and ...... i shall look at your website for your book.! ron

APR

2007

Wow, this is definitely me! I am going to join this group with great pleasure. I especially related to your comment where you can be bubbly and charismatic but then you need to take a nap!!!!

Yeah, we introverts need our naps! I can be charming for up to two hours and then I'm done. But, I can sit at my computer and CREATE all day and barely notice the time flying by.

Wow, this is so weird, I have been telling myself to get off this computer since 8am and its now 7pm..I did do a wash and made myself take a quick walk so I don't become a Blob. Just did an Introvert post. I really do want to thank you for bringing this up:) PS, I think its wonderful that you have written a book. I am going to check that out...tomorrow:(

I just copied and pasted this paragraph....I am all of this....and more! But what happens when it is the opposite coming back from the client? I am one (as an introvert) who speaks my mind (respectfully) when I need to. Otherwise, for unapproachable people I just "pretend" to listen.........In the end, all that matters is how I conduct myself.

Jennifer I could kiss you for your book! I am about to order it now. I was an accountant for 15 years, and real estate is a HUGE departure. I was starting to rethink the whole thing, but I am glad to know that I, an introvert, can be a successful agent.

Thank you!!!

Yep, you can. You really really can!

Celeste... Refer, Refer, Refer!

APR

2007

And, here I thought I was the only INTJ in real estate. I see myself in the quote that Celeste posted, especially the part where we find our only style. That's the saving grace for me for being in this business.

Guess there are several of us MASTERMIND's in the Real Estate Business...

Dan - Wow! INTJ's rock! 1% of the population? That's pretty cool.

Thanks so much for posting this... back to the site to learn more about me.

Jennifer, Here's another interesting link about INTJ's from my file. It also has links to other types.

Yes this is a perfect explanation. I made Rookie of The Year my first year in real estate -- 22 transactions. Proof that Introverts can be successful. In fact, one client commented multiple times that she thought it was so refreshing that I was so low key but so competent. She felt so comfortable with me.

Funny, my word is Passion.

APR

2007

I'm an INTJ too and am always somewhat concerned about the Introvert designation. Once I begin working with clients, it's never a problem. Networking to get the clients though. Ugh. Small talk kills me!

I have the perfect tool for shy introvert realtors... Auto Name Plate...that is placed on the rear of your car.

You never have to start the conversation..Buyers and sellers will see it and call you. Obviosly you can handle the conversation from there and still take a nap.

www.autonameplate.com

Charles pennington

Retired Realtor

MAY

2007

I am an introvert - I took Myer's Briggs and can't remember if I am INTP or INTJ. Knocking on doors is the last thing I want to do and everybody says you need to get yourself out there face to face. When I was old enough to sell girl scout cookies, I took my sister (two years younger) and I stood at the sidewalk while she went to the doors and knocked. She became a Realtor (an extrovert) and encouraged me and early on she said I would probably be someone who gets a lot of leads from the internet and that is where I prefer to develop myself rather than knocking. She was right and after reading this post, I can see why and there is nothing wrong with it. My office partner is as much extroverted as I am introverted but I am usually busier just because I am very organized, listen, good at details and paperwork as you described. And yes, I have been accused of being arrogant and self centered--when I am really protecting my own space. I have many conflicts and disagreements with my office partner (who is also a good friend) over this. As you described who I am, it gave me more space to appreciate the traits I have and not try to be something else - it really is inauthentic when I try to be the extrovert because somewhere I thought Realtors needed to be that. Thanks.

Oh Cathy - I almost got tears in my eyes when I read your post! The Girl Scout Cookies! Oh, my, I SO hated that time of year. I dreaded it. In fact, my sympathetic mother (also an introvert) bought a couple cases from me so that I wouldn't have to out and knock on doors. I still remember the utter terror of hitting the streets with my order pad.

I sold between 50 and 70 houses a year - all by myself. Because I am just like you!

Wanna meet me for Happy Hour? I bet we have lots more stories to share!

MAY

2007

This is so me! And the girl scout cookie story brought back nightmarish memories. First door knock I got yelled at and a door slam at 7 years old and I swore for years about how it scarred me (and scared me!)for life. As a real estate stager I attend weekly realtor meetings and I think that some of the realtors believe that I'm stand-offish or snobby or ??? but it's agony for me to go to those meeting and mingle. After 16 months I have established enough friendships that I usually find someone to chat with, but those Thursday mornings are brutal for me. The other agonizing social event is chamber mixers...ah misery. As an introvert I don't think that people understand, although the more people that I meet and get to know at these events the more that I find are in the same boat...but they go and they appear to be having a good time. I just want to blend into the wall until the lights go out. Thanks to everyone that's contributed to this post offering support. I will go and think of some of the comments so that I keep a smile on my face.

MAY

2007

Jennifer,

My name is Dan and I am an Introvert. I feel at home on this blog. It is a great thing!

MAY

2007

Welcome home!

MAY

2007

Jennifer congratulations on your book and blog.In order to succeed in real estae we have to be good listeners and whether introvert or extrovert, we have to listen more than talk.Good luck

MAY

2007

Hi I'm Carol and I'm an introvert - but I'm a great listener!

MAY

2007

I just came out of the closet today at my Toastmaster's Club!

One of my speeches was about being an NTRO and not only did they love it, but all the members present except ONE were NTROZ! As I spoke about the charachteristics, they were all nodding their heads in agreement, and "amen-ing" almost everything I said!

Of course the single XTRO was feeling a little lonely in there, but we had our time to shine today!

Just thought I'd share it!

Toya, I read your comment. Congrats for coming out of the closet. I have been thinking about joining toatmasters in my town. It makes me feel better that I might meet other ntroz there. :)

MAY

2007

"And because we jealously protect our OWN privacy and personal space, we are, perhaps, overly sensitive to the space and privacy needs of others. Which, unfortunately, is often misinterpreted as arrogance or stand-offish-ness."

Perfect expression :) Always the case with me.

Jennifer,

You go Girl!!!!

JUN

2007

Jennifer - I think I am a introvert by nature. but I have been transforming with my venture into the real estate world.. But Now I see I can be an introvert and be successful by paying attention to detail and doing a great job....

JUN

2007

Nattalie - You got it! That's exactly how it works. Just always remember to trust YOUR gut and YOUR instincts. Other people's advice, no matter how well-meaning, won't be a lot of help to you.

Natalie (and all)

Read Jennifers book, I have and its great advice.

Jennifer, I was planning on blogging about it but simply have not gotten to it. But I will:)

Jennifer, where have you been all my life?! I discovered your blog the other day, and I am hooked. I too "consider traditional real estate prospecting and closing techniques too invasive and assumptive for (my) personality", but I have never heard these words spoken in a real estate forum before. I've always thought there must be others in the industry like me, and I am delighted to have stumbled upon them.

I've been thrilled to learn how many of us there are out there... and we're pretty darn cool.

JUL

2007

Karen Hurst directed me to this blog and I am so glad she did. I am a classic Introvert and your blog hit it dead on! I do think Introverts have plenty to offer as Realtors and I must say that I know I've won over many clients because of genuiness, organization, realiability and dependability. Not that Extroverts do not possess these characteristics too. But the point is, Introverts can and do succeed at being great Realtors. Thanks so much for this blog. I have now joined the group and can't wait to start reading all the posts.

JUL

2007

Donna, welcome aboard! Isn't it wonderful to finally realize that you are NORMAL and maybe even a little bit cool!? Or a whole lot cool?

I chat with other introverts all the time who thought they were the only ones. We need to stop listening to the advice of extroverts - especially the stuff about "overcoming" our personality - and create our own message that takes advantage of all we have to offer.

If it feels wrong, don't do it!

wow, i'm an INTJ also. great to meet someone like-minded. My wife is still trying to understand my introversion. She's a classic Extrovert (ESTJ). Funny how we're attracted to people that are so diffrent from us.

Right on we need to stop letting society dictate to us that introverts just need to be more outgoing or that we have a problem or something. Preach it, sister,lol..

Shawn

JUL

2007

I'm thrilled to see there are others out there like me in this business! Thanks for posting this. I can't wait to read more.

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Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn, Author of Sell with Soul

Pensacola Beach, FL

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