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Oh, Be Careful Little Tongue What You Say!

By
Real Estate Agent with McGraw Realtors

When our children were little, the words, "Oh be careful little tongue what you say..." were a part of a children's song we taught them.  We'd sing the song over and over and talk about being careful what you say about others.Type Type Type

The words came to mind this morning when I jumped on my computer and saw the story about Lori and Sarah Drew.  You may remember them as the mother and daughter team who drove a 13 year old girl to commit suicide in her bedroom after sending her a message through MySpace that said the world would be a better place without girls like her.  Click here to see a pic of the mother and daughter.

Now, this post isn't to judge these two in regards to their actions that day, although I will admit that what they did was wrong in so many ways (in my opinion).

What I see here is a lesson for all of us.  When you are self-employed, as the mother was (and I suppose, still is), you have to bring an extra measure of level headedness and control to your daily life.  What you say in person or on line can have significant ramifications.  Am I saying you have to be censored...to give up your freedom of speech in order to be a successful real estate professional?  Nope.  If you want to say something, by all means get out there and say it!  But, if you are smart, you will use self-censorship in large portions on a regular basis.

Why?  Because look what happened to this lady...no that isn't right...this woman, in this situation.  According to the article in the New York Times, her cell phone number popped up in blogs across the Internet.  Then she started getting hateful phone calls.  Supposedly someone hacked into her cell phone account and changed her greeting to something that wasn't very nice.  Further ramifications included the companies that her business worked with getting targeted.  The article doesn't say what happened to her business, but I'm willing to bet it took a serious hit.

Being only a Sophomore in the world of Real Estate, I am reminded how important it is to behave yourself out there in the big world.  Be careful what you say, both on the job and in private.  Especially in the blogosphere and on social networking sites.  And if you're ever tempted to do something like Lori and Sarah Drew did, remember that we're the adults here.  It is our job to teach the kids by our example - especially the impressionable 13 year old teens who have so much access to the adult world and so little experience in dealing with what they find there. 

It wil be interesting to see what the punishment ends up being in this case.  The mother could face prison and a hefty fine.  And the daughter?  I don't guess she's facing any charges, but I'll bet her dating life is...interesting!  And how about the mom of the 13 year old who killed herself?  She can sue this mom and daughter and make their lives a living hell for a long time to come.  Talk about giving someone control over your life??? Wow!

Have a great Black Friday and watch that tongue.  It can be a crafty little beast!  Make it say something nice to someone today.

Loose tongues sink ships...and lives

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Bob Haywood
Bob Haywood
Owasso, Oklahoma REALTOR®

Tulsa, OK REALTOR®/ McGraw REALTORS®
Bhaywood@mcgrawrealtors.com
(918) 272-7272

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Charles Stallions
Charles Stallions Real Estate Services - Pensacola, FL
850-476-4494 - Pensacola, Pace or Gulf Breeze, Fl.

A sad story and all the lives will never be the same. My broker always said to not e-mail or write what you wouldn't want the courts or judges to read no matter how innocent it may be.

Nov 28, 2008 08:06 AM
Tammy Lankford,
Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA
Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Bob- words can be so hurtful.  Your post even makes me think about some of the times in my life when I raised my voice to my children that I can't take back.  It certainly pays to think before you speak.

Nov 28, 2008 09:10 AM
Bob Haywood
McGraw Realtors - Owasso, OK
BobHaywood.com

Everybody - Thank you so much for the comments.  I've been away from my computer most of the day, after writing the post and it was incredible to watch the comments pop in on my Blackberry.  Let us all remember that words truly are more powerful than the sword...or is it the pen?

Bob

Nov 28, 2008 09:12 AM
Dawn Maloney
RE/MAX Trinity Northeast Ohio Real Estate Specialist - Hudson, OH
330-990-4236 Hudson & Northeastern Ohio

So true. Most of us do not realize the power of our words or lack of them. Generally less is more, but each of us must realize the power of our words.

Truth: You are a person of influence, even if you are not a person of reknown.

Nov 28, 2008 10:56 AM
Kris Kombrink ~ The Kombrink Team
RE/MAX Excels - Chicago's Western Suburbs - Geneva, IL

Excellent post, Bob.  People tend to forget that what they put online WILL be read by someone somewhere sometime.  While it would be nice to be 100% frank, it just isn't very tactful.

Nov 28, 2008 12:03 PM
Ann deVane
john greene, Realtor - Naperville, IL
Naperville Real Estate, GRI, CNC, CSC, ePRO

Great reminder Bob.  I live by the quote "what you say about others says more about you than it does about them."  I remind myself that daily.  Making someone look bad, so you can look good never ends well.  Same is true in our business.   Insightful post.

Nov 28, 2008 12:40 PM
Vickie McCartney
Maverick Realty - Owensboro, KY
Broker, Real Estate Agent Owensboro KY

Bob~ That is a very sad situation and story.  I can't even imagine how anyone deals with something like that....

Nov 28, 2008 12:51 PM
Paula Swayne
Dunnigan, Realtors, Sacramento (916) 425-9715 - Sacramento, CA
Realtor-Land Park, East Sac & Curtis Park -Dunniga

Hi Bob!
Congratulations on the Featured Post!  It well deserves it.  I can't tell you how often I think about what I say and the ramifications.  But, there also have been many times when that little voice in my head is yelling "stop, stop, don't say it!"  When I listen, I am usually happy that I did.  When I don't, most of the time I wish I had.  The little voice is usually very wise!

Nov 28, 2008 03:41 PM
Bob Haywood
McGraw Realtors - Owasso, OK
BobHaywood.com

Paula - Thank you!  Your little voice is a great friend.  I'm getting much better at listening to mine.  It used to be so easy to ignore!

Nov 29, 2008 12:03 AM
Teri Eckholm
Boardman Realty - White Bear Lake, MN
REALTOR Serving Mpls/St Paul North & East Metro

Bob--What comes to mind is the old saying...If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. People need to live by this rule. Great post and congrats on the feature.

Nov 29, 2008 12:11 AM
Kerry Lucasse
eXp Realty - Urban Nest Real Estate Group - Atlanta, GA
Your Urban Nest Atlanta Real Estate Consultant

Definitely a sad story -- and I can't believe that a mom would get involved in something like that. 

As for the lesson here, I definitely try to think before I speak.  Even simple things like commenting on home decor when showing a home to buyers.  We have to be careful not to say "that wallpaper is horrible". as there is always a chance that the buyer clients may love it!

Nov 29, 2008 12:41 AM
Kerry Lucasse
eXp Realty - Urban Nest Real Estate Group - Atlanta, GA
Your Urban Nest Atlanta Real Estate Consultant

Definitely a sad story -- and I can't believe that a mom would get involved in something like that. 

As for the lesson here, I definitely try to think before I speak.  Even simple things like commenting on home decor when showing a home to buyers.  We have to be careful not to say "that wallpaper is horrible". as there is always a chance that the buyer clients may love it!

Nov 29, 2008 12:41 AM
Bob Haywood
McGraw Realtors - Owasso, OK
BobHaywood.com

Kerry - Oh my gosh - I've so made that mistake!  Learning to show houses and keep your mouth shut about what you like and don't like was a fast lesson learned in this business!  It's so weird to be showing and thinking to yourself, "Yuk, hate it," while the clients are considering it.  To each his or her own, right...

Nov 29, 2008 12:53 AM
Debbie Hutchins
Birmingham, AL

This is a great post!  THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK! and the world will be a better place for you and those around you!

LOVE that sign!

Debbie

Nov 29, 2008 01:15 AM
Christine O'Shea
Christine E O'Shea Broker - Naples, FL

Hi Bob, So true, I am in an aquward family situation now because my brother's wife posted herself all over my space with photos, tatoos, etc.  I could not bring myself to go to Thanksgiving dinner and look across the table from her and now I am the bad guy.

Nov 29, 2008 04:03 AM
Bob Haywood
McGraw Realtors - Owasso, OK
BobHaywood.com

Debbie - I made the sign - it was fun to design!

Christine - I'm so sorry to hear about your situation.  We have something similar going on with our 21 year old daughter.  She all but ruined Thanksgiving.  Don't let them tell you that you're the bad guy and don't let them make you feel that way either!

Nov 29, 2008 04:35 AM
Christine O'Shea
Christine E O'Shea Broker - Naples, FL

Thanks Bob, I needed that comment from you.

Nov 29, 2008 04:47 AM
Bob Haywood
McGraw Realtors - Owasso, OK
BobHaywood.com

Christine - You're welcome.  Hang in there!

Nov 29, 2008 04:52 AM
TIM MONCRIEF
Tim Monciref - Austin, TX
Over 2,000 homes sold…..

Be able to explain any email or blog reply or post to a judge......and it may be something that you sent a couple of years ago........

Nov 29, 2008 06:32 AM
Anonymous
john

Have you heard of this firm? The Realestate Pro.Net

Nov 29, 2008 12:49 PM
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