Implicit in the word "acceptance" is a sense of relationship. There is "something" which is being accepted----not necessarily willingly, but often by agreement or out of understanding---- sometimes because it is the only thing left to do. Even when something is unacceptable, it is to our advantage----to our personal growth----to approach the issue with "acceptance." 
We live in a time when pop-culture, psycho-babble, would have us believe that we must forgive everyone in order to not be consumed by our inability to forgive----there is a cornucopia of illnesses and maladies attributed to lack of forgiveness and lack of acceptance. I think that while in general it is good wisdom to seek forgiveness both for our own transgressions and those of others, the reality is that there are some people that do things that are simply unforgivable----and even with our willingness to forgive, it is simply not enough. It is easy to look at someone else's life and see how difficult they are making their lives because of their unwillingness, or inability to accept things the way that they are, to forgive people for the things they have done, or to forgive themselves for the things they have done. It is not always so easy to see the dis-ease in ourselves.
I would go so far as to say that at times we all have likely done things that we do not "deserve" to be forgiven for, and we are left with no one to forgive us but ourselves. We can ask for forgiveness and acceptance; and, that is no guarantee that we are going to get either. We can ask that those around us do what they can to find a way to accept us for what we are so that we aren't part of the baggage they feel they must cart around their whole lives; and, for us to expect forgiveness----to expect acceptance is not reasonable.
Ultimately, it is more important for us to accept ourselves---to forgive ourselves.
It is through acceptance that we are able to embrace those situations that are unforgivable. I think some people confuse acceptance and forgiveness. Can a parent ever truly forgive a drunk driver for causing the death of a child? In my opinion no----but they can come to a place where they can accept that things are the way that they are and thus enable them to move on with their lives and not irreparably color the other aspects of their lives and other relationships. The gift of "forgiveness," when impossible, can give way to the gift of "acceptance."
Please don't think that I am devaluing the importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness has implicit in it some form of reciprocation----otherwise isn't it really "acceptance" in different clothing? When someone says, "Please forgive me---I am so sorry," you can either choose to forgive or not to forgive. Acceptance does not require any reciprocation. Therefore acceptance can not make one a hostage to, or dependent on, what the other person does.
We see this often when a parent dies and the people they leave behind have things they wish they had said, and can never say, because the parent is gone. If you "require" the dead parent to forgive you or to tell you they are sorry for what they "did to you"----or you did to them----you create an impossible gulf that can not be crossed because the person is gone. It a way one is saying, "Because you are gone and because I cannot ever actually forgive you, I can never truly accept myself, or forgive myself"-----and that is a lot of baggage to carry around. We actually choose to live in a Hell of our own making because of our unwillingness to accept things the way that they are. When we can accept even that untenable scenario we are free to move on.
Perhaps, the greatest gift one can give oneself and to those around us-----to everyone----is the gift of acceptance.
Wouldn't it be nice if "acceptance" was to rule, and not the "exception" to the rule?
Charles Buell
PS, for those of you that are new to my blog (or for some other "unexplained" reason have never noticed)
all pictures and smiley-face inserts (emoticons) (when I use them) have messages that show up when you point at them with your cursor.
DeCroe, is my "certiflied" home inspector assistant and occasionally flies into my blog to offer assistance. To find out more about her beginnings just click on Raven.
says: "Don't forget the pictures have messages."
;)
;)
It is difficult, if not impossible to be at peace with ones self, if you choose not to either forgive or accept. Unwittingly, you could be holding your own peace hostage.
They say that time heals alll wounds, but the scars can remain forever.