Indialantic, Florida - Harlan Hooper is seeing red.  Literally. And purple. As a matter of fact, he's seen so much of it over the past few years that he thinks it may be responsible for his dizzy spells and vertigo. He also thinks it's the reason his home isn't selling, but he can't convince his wife.

Harlan's wife, Edna, is a full-fledged "Red Hatter," having joined the Red Hat Society over four years ago.  According to their official web site, the Society is a group of women who wear red hats with purple dresses,  play dress-up and have tea parties, among other things. 

But according to Harlan, "they all need their heads examined if you ask me.  The ones I've met are all a bunch of drunks or fruitcakes, including my wife, Edna."

Eighteen months ago, Harlan came home from work to find his entire house transformed by Edna and her red hat ladies into a "Red Hat House" which she describes as "fun, festive and alive with color!" 

But Harlan had this to say about the makeover, "Everything in the gosh danged house was red, purple and fluffy.  She even had the dog dressed up like one a them Red Hat nut jobs!" 

Shortly after the makeover the Hoopers decided to put their home on the market.  It's been for sale ever since.  According to Harlan, they haven't even had a nibble.

"The real estate lady keeps tellin' us to lose the red and purple but Edna just won't listen.  She says neutral colors make her feel depressed."

Disclaimer: This "News Item" is a work of (comic relief) fiction written by Ralph the real estate dog. Only the MLS photo is real. Any resemblance between the characters, persons or Realtors® is purely coincidental.