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Our Personal Family Tragedy Leads to Hope for Underprivileged Kids

Mark Reynolds Big Bear Biking

In 2004, the new year was just beginning for us. The holidays were over, our two kids were safely back at their homes, and I was starting to think that the Christmas tree needed to be tackled next...but it could wait a day or two...or maybe longer.

On January 9th, at FOUR IN THE MORNING, the doorbell rang at our home.

My husband headed to the door thinking, "Who in the world is here at this hour?"

Almost instantly, he came back to the bedroom and said, "There are two police officers here - they won't say what they want."

Grabbing my robe, I ran to the door. One of the police officers started to extend his hand as if to shake my hand and said, "Could we please sit down?"

Instantly, my knees felt like rubber and the tears began to run down my face when I asked them, "WHICH ONE OF MY KIDS?!" My heart was telling me why they were here.

Personally, I did not want to hear him saying that he was the Chaplin at the St Joseph Police Dept., as I repeated "Which one of my Kids?"

He spoke very softly, trying to offer his sympathies. Finally, I heard him say: "Mark..."

As my knees weakened and I found the sofa, my husband asked, "How did it happen?"

The other officer said they didn't have complete information other than the fact that it involved a mountain lion...

I kept telling myself this cannot be REAL-it's a dream-- it HAS to be a DREAM. After all, I just talked with Mark yesterday. He was leaving to go to Phoenix with the motocross riders he represented and he would call me on Monday,

Then, he said simply, "Mom, I love you."

Through the years of raising our 2 kids there was a mutual understanding and awareness "As a child they were important"so we always strived to never put off until tomorrow what they needed today. Dinner was together as a family, we attended the activities they were involved in, we spent time each day with them to really listen to them and to know how their day was (all the important stuff) They knew their friends were welcome at a moment's notice for dinner at our house.

They both knew and understood the word Love and it was expressed every day in our home.

When you live through such a tragic accident as a parent, you never get over the loss of your child and there is never an understanding of why it happened in the first place.

Mark Reynolds Bench Whiting Ranch California

The only thing that my husband and I were sure of at that moment was that Mark's legacy had to continue. Mark had begun personal yearly donations of bicycles and helmets to underprivileged kids, and that had to continue as well, so we made this happen by starting the Mark Reynolds Fund (www.markreynoldsfund.org).

This has helped to create awareness and understanding that biking is important in every child's life. There is much more to a bike than just two wheels, after all!

Here are some of the lessons and priorities of the Mark Reynolds Fund:

· Bikes create a healthy lifestyle for kids.

· Biking for kids with disabilities is important, too.

· Awareness and understanding that helmets are required when biking.

· Awareness and understanding that biking gives children the freedom to roam to approved destinations.

· Understanding the rules of the road, stop signs, crossing at corners, etc.

· Bikes teach kids responsibility of taking care of the bike itself.

· Bikes help to build self confidence in kids.

· Awareness and understanding that bikes can be dangerous without parental guidance

· Biking can help kids do better in school.

· Awareness that bikes are a personal achievement for many kids.

· Bikes teach basic mechanics

· Biking really is the first step in drivers education.

· Support safe routes to schools for kids to bike (and walk) to school

Our gift of love, creating Understanding and Awareness for underprivileged children, has helped us to weather the healing process of losing our child. We continue to distribute bicycles across the country to underprivileged kids today.

Mark Reynolds Memorial Fund Logo

In case you were wondering, that is a photo above of our beloved son Mark. To learn more about his fund, visit

www.markreynoldsfund.org

rss-donareynolds

If your looking for a home in the St Joseph Mo area, you can visit my

St Joseph Real Estate website at www.donareynolds.com

Posted by Dona Reynolds, ST JOSEPH MO on 12/04/2008 09:57 PM

Comments (48)

Our Personal Family Tragedy Leads to Hope for Underpriveleged Kids in the ActiveRain Channel

family, dona and gary reynolds, mark reynolds fund, personal loss, children, biking, non profit organization, st joseph mo

Originally posted at: Dona Reynolds, Blog: Our Personal Family Tragedy Leads to Hope for Underprivileged Kids

Post is included in group: Posts to Localism
Post is included in group: Family Ties
Post is included in group: BLOG FOR A CAUSE

48 Comments on Our Personal Family Tragedy Leads to Hope for Underprivileged Kids

DEC

2008

I am so sorry for your loss. I can not imagine what you have gone through. What a wonderful way to honor your son, his life and your memories.

Dona, I too could not even start to imagine what pain and sorrow you have felt. Only God can give us peace that passes all understanding, even tho the pain is always there. What a great way to honor his memory by helping underpriveleged children.

Dona - Thanks so much for sharing this story with me before you even posted it here. God bless you and your husband for carrying on Mark's legacy. I hope this story touches a lot of lives.

It sounds like a horrible freak accident. I am glad that you are able to promote his legacy.

Renee: Thanks for your comment. Losing your child is absolutely the worst thing in Life...

Barbara: Please visit the website, there is truly so much more than 2 wheels, amazingly I gave one of the first adapted bikes to a non verbal child in December of 2004. The minute the little boy got on his bike, he rode (unassisted) up to Mark' photo, kissed him and said "Mark bike Ride" today he still talks.........

Jason: Appreciate your help, Mark would have wanted us to carry on.

I am truly touched and teared by your post Dona. Thank you for the strength and courage you represent, it's an inspiration that just can't be put into words. May Marks contributions and legacy live on forever! Thank you for sharing this, and for your very kind email. We are family here and always available if you need us.

Dona, to have that doorbell ring and to be told of such a tragedy, what a shock. My heart goes out to you. The memorial goes on for Mark allowing the world to have something good come from his legacy. I am most sorry for your great loss. Your photo is such a good reminder for you as well. He was a very strong, vibrant young man.

Gayle: We will be giving away bikes away on the 13 at one of our local schools, I have a story that I tell (maybe I will post it another time) In front of them, I am like Iron, but many times I have drove home crying so hard I had to stop.

Brad: I feel as if I have known you all of my life...you are not only the most helpful person in the world, but your family values tell me what a great father you are. Active Rain is soooo fortunate and blessed to have you. My friend, THANK YOU

Donna, I cannot imagine the heartbreak of losing a son, the fear is always at the back of a parents heart. God bless you and your family for accepting the strength to go on and to do such a beautiful job of it! I am sure Mark approves.

There are no words to express how sorry I am about your loss - I can't even imagine receiving that news. I know he is proud of you for your efforts to continue his legacy, and I wish you the greatest success.

Dona - there is no way to know how any of would react to the loss of a child, unless we have walked in those shoes. The obvious loving relationship in your home and your very obvious devotion to family is a shining light for us all.

Your son was a giving soul, as is his family. Your tribute to his legacy is so very poignant, and I will never see a child on a bicycle that I won't remember your story.

God bless you and yours --- and all those that you help in Marks name.

Dona about three years ago I got a call that started with "This is the Polk county sheriff..." I interrupted him and said "my husband was hit by a car..." Totally threw him off. My hubby was fine with a torqued knee for 6 weeks. He is an avid cyclist and was back on his bike soon.

We too buy bikes for kids and it is one of our typical presents for christmas when we adopt families.

It doesn't take away the loss, but I think Mark would be happy knowing that you created a foundation.

Oh Dona. I have no words, just tears. I love how you are honoring Mark! Thank you so much for sharing!

DEC

2008

Dona, I just went to his site! I live in Orange County. I think I remember when that happened. I am so sorry.

Dona - the fund that your family has set up in your son, Mark's, name is amazing. What a way to turn tragedy into something positive, for both yourselves and the children in need. I am of course, so sorry for your loss.

Dona, what a great thing you are doing. I'm sure your son is smiling in heaven....

Check out my recent "biking" blog at: http://activerain.com/blogsview/819851/Success-builds-Success-Tips-from-Bicycle-Riding-PART-5-of-5

Join my NEW group for professionals who work from their home office at http://activerain.com/groups/virtualoffice

Regina P. Brown
Allison James Estates & Homes
www.ReginaBrown.AllisonJamesInc.com

Dona.... I can't imagine the pain. Our children are not supposed to go before us. It's just not supposed to work that way. There is some consolation in that he was doing what he loved but know you and your husband are in our prayers.

I know Mark is proud of what you're doing with the foundation. It was good work that should be continued. God bless you!

May you keep Mark's spirit alive with his markreynolds fund!

Dona, I am so sorry for your loss. I went and looked at the foundation you and your husband started before commenting and I know Mark would be so pleased. Caring on his love of cycling is an awesome way to carry on his dreams and love of the sport.

Dona, You have created a wonderful monument to Mark. After checking out the web-site I am convinced that not only do we know you loved and continue to love him intensely but he knew it too. I hope that brings a little comfort although I am sure you continue to grieve and miss him all the time. Thanks for sharing his story and his legacy. My condolences to you. God Bless you.

Such a great loss and I cannot image losing a child. Thank you for the great post.

Dona,

What a tremendous tribute!!! I only want to address one particular point..."When you live through such a tragic accident as a parent, you never get over the loss of your child and there is never an understanding of why it happened in the first place."...Having lost a 5 year old boy, my oldest, in 1976, I confirm your statement...this weekend I will be attending a spiritual retreat at ST JOSEPH in the hills in Malvern, Pa., with 2 of my younger sons, and I will remember your family in prayer!!! Thanks, Fran

I know that your son is as proud of you as you were of him....and thank you for all you have done in his memory for everyone who has been helped and may not remember to tell you....thank you for sharing...know that God walks...or maybe rides with him always....thank you.

I can't imagine losing my child like that, I am so sorry for your loss. It is great to see that instead of letting grief rule your life, you turned it into something to change other peoples lives for the better. What a great way to impact children!

Thank you for sharing this inspirational story.

You did it Dona!!! And you did an incredible job and got featured to boot!! And you deserved it for this post girl. I have to say it made the tears role.

Losing my children is one of my biggest fears. My husband I come from horrible backgrounds. Between our two families, were raised with alcoholism, violence, porn, child molestation, child abandonment of care and love. I always say our marriage was a train wreck. Two runaway trains headed opposite ways on the same track!

We have fought so damn hard, people don't understand how hard it is to break away from the chains of the past. My husband and I fight every day not to let our past suck us in. We fight to not yell and scream, we fight to be understanding. We never had that.

My kids are 15 and 17. I am so proud to say that they have made it into almost adulthood without being molested, they have been loved, they are so confident and they were raised with a foundation of Christ as our saviour.

I just want to see the next generation so badly--my daugther will be a better mother than I was because I continue to fight so hard to break the bonds of my past. My son will be a better father than my husband because my husband works so hard to break the bonds of his past.

I can't even imagine your pain and am so impressed by your strength to carry on!!!

Many blessings to you!!!!

Dona, Thanks for sharing your story. We drive through St. Joseph on our way to the Lake of the Ozarks.

One year I was having trouble finding the perfect gift for my dad, it was two or three days before Christmas. I stopped at their home for something, no one was home but there was an email letter that my dad had printed and left on the counter. It was about a family who had the same problem what to get dad, then one of them came up with an idea of giving something to Charity in his name. The dad was a sports fan and so that year the family gave money for new basketball uniforms for an underprivileged group of kids. After reading that I knew I had found my answer.

This year I am having the same problem and came across your letter, again I have found the answer. I will contact you via email later today and we will discuss it farther.

My dad has ridden in RAGBRAI and enjoyed riding his bike in the past. On top of that my grandfather was the local Schwinn dealer in town for several years. We have heard many stories of kids emptying their piggy banks on his counter, many times they didn't have enough and he would tell them not to worry about it, he would take care of it. I could go on and on with memories our family have that include biking....this is perfect

I lost the copy of the original email, it's one that goes around at Christmas if anyone ever sees it please send it to me.

Dona, Your son is looking down on you and must be very proud! I am so very sorry for your loss. What a wonderful way to carry on his legacy. My husband lost a child to leukemia at 6 years old. I understand the pain is unbearable at times.

I admire you for 2 reasons. I adopted 2 underprivileged kids from Kansas City. (I grew up there and left 10 years ago). My son had never had a bike, and he was almost 7. I admire you for carrying out your son's dream and for allowing dreams to come true for these children. God bless you Dona. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm off to visit the site now.

Gary: Many years ago, I read a story, that when the police come in the middle of the night.......what they were there for............this is true, as it was on the front page of every newspaper that day across the world, so they needed to notify the family. Mark was happy.

Vanessa: It never crossed my mind about loosing a child....My kids were NORMAL kids, possibly just like yours and all the rest of the kids. But my kids knew that they were important and Gary and I took time to make them important. Loving them along the way.

Margaret: Since 1991 my family has gave bikes to kids. It was something that as a child we believe saved Marks life as a child.

Carol: you are correct, until you have walked in a parents shoes that lost a child, you will never know, I lost both of my parents with in a short time after Mark was killed, as much as I loved them, they were 85 and had a beautiful 67 years of marriage. It was not the same.......Mark was my child

I am so sorry for your loss. What a strong person you are to turn the grief into something that blesses so many lives.

Kim

RE/MAX EXCEL

Melina: That is great your family gives bikes to kids at the holidays. We will NOT give bikes without the kids hearing about the rules/safety of the bike. We give them away at schools/churches, etc and make a presentation about Mark, why we do this now, and WHAT EVER PARENT NEEDS TO KNOW.

Cristal: I am sure you most likely remember the accident in Orange County, Mark' memorial bench is at Whiting Ranch Park. We will be giving bikes to Canyon Acres, in Anaheim, a center for abused and neglected children again this year as my heart really goes out to those kids....

Christine: This was a friends/family Christmas project for underpriveleged kids for years, it was/is only natural that Mark's mission for kids lives on.

Regina: I will check out your blog and website a little later, thanks for sharing

Jesse & Cathy: Thank you..Mark would have wanted it this way.

What a wonderful thing you have done. I cannot imagine such a loss and am so sorry for your pain. Thank you for sharing with us.

Dona,

A mother should never have to hear that knock on the door, but some of us do. I too heard it in 2006, My son Malachi died in a boating accident in Lake Havasu at 15. I love to hear the stories of amazing mothers inspired by the love for thier children...May you be blessed every step of the way and thank you so much for sharing!

Donna although I have not felt your pain I see it in my mother to this day, I lost my younger brother at 30 over 19 years ago. What a wonderful way to remember Mark and help others. God Bless

To my Active Rain friends and families: Thank each of you for your heartfelt sympathy, I truly appreciate it. To those that have lost a child in the past, only you know the true pain of what a true loss is and my prayers and thoughts will always be with you. To each of you the most important message I would love to share with you is, if you have a child/children (no matter their age) do not put off till tomorrow what we need to tell our kids everyday, I LOVE YOU ! Sometimes tomorrow never comes. I am glad that in my kids lives, they each knew they were important as a child. May God Bless each one of you and I will always remember you in my heart

DEC

2008

I am so sorry for you loss, teary eyed I am typing this reply. My prayers are with you. So glad to see you find a positive way of keep his spirit going it must ease the pain even a small amount to know you are doing such good work.

DEC

2008

Connie: Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. This is something we have participated in for so many years as a family, it is what Mark would have wanted us to carry on for kids.

Oh Dona, it breaks my heart to hear of your son's tragedy but to put good back into this world in Mark's memories, what a wonderful idea to keep his spirit going and helping others. My prayers are with you and family. - Carla

DEC

2008

Carla, yes it broke our heart also but giving back to underpriveleged kids has helped the healing process. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers

JAN

I don't have children so I can never even imagine what you went through, but I thank you for making something positive out of a tragedy like that.

Best wishes for health, happiness, peace, and prosperity in 2009.

Russell:) It was a very difficult thing for a parent to even imagine.

Mark would have wanted us to continue and we are proud to be able to do this for underprivileged kids in memory of Mark. As a small infant/child, Mark was very asthmatic and it is our belief that because he rode his bike so much, that by the time he was a preteen the disease of asthma had left his body entirely. We strongly believe IT WAS THE BIKE!

Happy New Year

Dona ~ I am so sorry ..... And thank you for sharing your very personal story with Active Rain! I have two children and as they get older, it get harder and harder to convince them they still need to wear helmets when to hop on those bike, and even scooters.

You and your husband must be truly amazing people, thank you for carrying on Mark's legacy. This is such a worthy cause and I am sure so many have benefited from it. Thank you.

Hi Terrie:) It is a absolute must, if your child gets on the bike you must have a helmet or the bike will be put up! I have seen to many little kids brain injured because they did not have a helmet on, please tell your kids it is a must.

Terrie we are actually quite like your family, my kids graduated from college and were fortunate to have their careers that both had dreamed of and life was good for both of them. A family disaster like this really takes a tole on parents. Bikes should be part of every child's life and this is why we chose to carry forth Mark's generosity for underprivileged kids and it has helped so much trying to heal from this tragedy.

JAN

Dona, What a touching story. I am at a loss for words as a mother of two boys. Your courage to write the post and share your feelings is very much appreciated as you have so many comments and have undoubtedly touched many lives through the www.markreynoldsfund.org. Thank you for sharing this story and for reminding us that our children are precious and that we need to tell them that we love them every time they leave the house.

Hi Jane! I believe it is important for parents to be aware and understand that every child should know they are important as a child.

Mark's story and foundation have touched hundreds of children's and parent's lives in our bicycle giveaways across the nation. Mark would have wanted his personal mission to provide kids a bike, to continue.

JAN

Dona, I'm sitting here in awe of you with tears running down my face, in fact I can't even read what I'm typing. This post is beautifully written and I know it was difficult to write. I look forward to getting to know you better. :)

Thanks Judi ~ As parents we never expect anything to happen to our children! Visit Marks website www.markreynoldsfund.org to read more about Mark and how underpriveleged kids prayers are being answered.

JAN

Dona,

As usual, I am amazed by your strength. You serve as an example to all of us. Thank you for your service to others, for using your pain to take away the pain of others. We love you and are SO proud of all you have accomplished in Mark's name and memory.

XOXO

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