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When Agreeing Just Ain't Possible...

Every once in a while I find myself in a debate with someone, and it becomes apparent that there is just no way you're going to see eye to eye. In some cases, you have to continue with the debate because the outcome is extremely important.

In other cases, it's fruitless to even debate about it at all because no matter who is right, the outcome remains the same. In those cases, it's simply not worth committing the mental energy to figure it out. I used to use the phrase "we'll just have to agree to disagree", but with some individuals, that's not going to work because they're not really interested in the real meaning of right or wrong. They're interested in proving that you are wrong and they are right.

It's those instances that I've learned to depend on my good ol' Grandpa Hausman's advice and say "You might be right." By using that phrase instead of fueling the fire with "We'll have to agree to disagree" or beating a dead horse and trying to prove my point, I can let the other person feel like they won the debate, and walk away. I feel fine walking away from the debate because I know that all I did was diffuse a meaningless debate (and I know that "you might be right" can also mean "you're probably wrong.")

Posted by Joel McDonald on 12/12/2008 04:43 PM

Comments (39)

You Might Be Right in the Sales Strategies / Tactics Channel

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39 Comments on When Agreeing Just Ain't Possible...

DEC

2008

that is good a good phrase. I have to use that in the future.

My wife always say to pick which hill you want to die on!! Some battles are not worth fighting!!

Sorry for the double comment, OOPS!!

You might be right about using "You might be right"! I am going to try that line next time I'm in a stalemate.

Chuckle. So did you get 75 points for that? Just kidding Dean ;-)

Marjorie - "Hey Now..." What are you saying?

I agree to disagree whenever things seem boxed in... Good post...

You might be right! I love that!

What a simple, but powerful, phrase to add to our toolbox of knowledge. Thanks for sharing.

Good point, but due to my competitiveness and stubborness, I probably would walk away and say something else under my breath if I really thought I was right! Good for you though for taking the high ground!

Hi Joel,

Good work. Way to be politically correct!

Don't forget me if you learn of anyone moving to "The OC!"

Michael

949.753.7900

Russ, Caron, Joan & Cynthia, thanks for the comments!

Kristin, Trust me - I can relate. As much as I try, sometimes I just can't help but debate... I'm definitely can be a stubborn debater. I just hope I don't get that response used on me...

Micheal - I just might do that. ;-)

Sorry Michael. Couldn't resist that reply given the context... You got it on the OC referrals!

You may be dead on right but you will be a loser in some instances if you don't emply those simple phrases that ease you out of a discussion. Thanks for sharing!

Good point Connie. I'm a believer in Dale Carnegie's theory in the fact that there is always a loser in a debate over "matters of no consequence". If it's of no consequence, I'd usually prefer to bow out gracefully because even if I'm right - I gain nothing by proving the other person wrong. (Besides - I still get to feel like I had the last word and so did my "opponent".)

in life I agree to disagree in business I say NEXT.......lol.....

Todd Hueffed

Nice one Joel. Now I know how to get out of these types of conversations.

"You might be right". I can think of several situations where I should have used that instead of beating a dead horse. I just may have to use that on another blog I post on, which is a little more controversal than Activerain. LOL

I totally agree that saying "you might be right" can be a great strategy, however it won't work if you say it with a mood that makes the other person wrong. In otherwords, you can still make the other person wrong, even though you are saying the words you might be right. The message behind the words is more impactful thant he actual words.

Sometimes, it's important to be tactful. But sometimes, I just tell em "You're an ass!" and walk away. Hard to argue with my back.

I guess it depends on how important they are in my world!

You might be right...But everyone is entitled to my opinion anyway.

Thanks for chiming in Todd & Mike.

Missy - Yes I definitely can think of a few forums where I have to exercise that discipline & just "walk away" from the debate.

Mattison - You're totally right. Just like saying "I love you MAN!" can be interpreted completely differently from "I luuuvv yoooo". Context is everything, but sometimes all I can do to avoid Erby's strategy is say one thing with tongue-in-cheek, knowing that I mean the exact opposite.

Erby - Trust me. That exact thought runs through my head every time. Part of my 12-step program, however is to stick with something that's, well... not nearly as fun, but it does keep me out of trouble. ;-)

Sherry - That's what they teach at WIWYO,IGITY University, right?

;-)

LOL!

I'm always straight forward with any buyers. If you don't, then its just a matter of time before the truth comes out.

You ARE right Greg. This post wasn't as much about dealing with clients, as it was about just dealing with people who are arguing for the sake of arguing.

Joel - I know people who just get off on arguing. Great way to bow out gracefully and just move on.

Joel - You make very good points. I think in our line of industry, we need to decide more often than most, when the point of debate is going to be fruitfull, or fruitless. A few months back, I worked with a buyer, who was an extreme bargain hunter. He put most bottom fishing home buyers to shame. After writing up several offers, and having them either outright rejected, or countered severely (which made him upset), I told him that he needed to decide whether he wanted to buy a house or continue enjoying the game of writing offer after rejeced offer. He finally got real, and purchased a house. But that last conversation with him was my make or break decision to either change his mind about what he made his offers, or "allow" him to find another agent.

DEC

2008

Good phrase, but I know I would be tempted to put the emphasis where I shouldn't!

You MIGHT be right.
YOU might be right?

DEC

2008

Joel, Wise words from your Grandpa. And I'll have to remember them as I can see how they can diffuse a possibly oncoming argument.

DEC

2008

Hi Joel. If more people could understand that it's okay to just agree to disagree. People are just not always going to see eye to eye on things. I recently wrote a post on how people's perceptions of reality are different and always will be. Thanks for the post - great job!

Joel I have been in this situation as few times and you are right it is better to just walk away.

Love that graphic!

DEC

2008

I used to get into those intense debates with people and I love to defend my thinking and rational, but as I get older, I have realized that stopping to listen to the other person fully and to stop thinking about what you want to say next while they are talking has helped me immensly. You might both be right!

Ha! Ha! I like Erby's comment!!! But, I am going to try"you might be right" on for size the next time I find myself in a no win situation as see how it works!

Joel you crack me up! Your posts are fun to read because you are so passionate!!

I like that line. I'll have to use it sometime! Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in defending your point to someone who has no intention of keeping an open mind.

JAN

2009

I enjoy a good debate, and it's often quite fun to leave the other side with a "We'll just have to agree to disagree." Often when I do that, I'll get called a few choice four-letter words, and they aren't LOVE, HELP, or FREE. My wise old grandmother always told me that as soon as people start calling me names and using foul language, I'll know that I've won the debate. LOL

Today is the first day of the rest of your life -- make it a good start.

FEB

Thats hilarious! Just what I needed this a.m.

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Joel McDonald

Castle Pines North, CO

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Joel McDonald -- www.AutomatedHomefinder.com

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As the owner of a Colorado real estate company, I hope to be able to share my 15 years of real estate marketing advice with anyone who is interested. I also look forward to interacting with the rest of you in the AR community who have so much to share.

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