Special offer

Holiday Acceptance - Silencing my inner Grinch

By
Real Estate Agent with Rose and Womble Realty Company

I had forgotten the meaning of Christmas.  I don't mean the religious version or the commercial version, but the true spirit of the holidays.  As I rushed through my days trying to accomplish everything on my "to do" list, I get caught up in the hectic pace and worrying about all the things I didn't get to.  I worry about how I'm going keep my clients happy, pay my bills, get my family the things they want for Christmas and a million other things.  Christmas didn't mean joy and peace for me.  It just gave me a whole new list of chores I needed to get done.

My inner Grinch was alive and well.  And nothing drove that home more than what happened today.  I haven't mailed out any Christmas cards or put up my tree yet.  So today, I tried to get my boys to help me get the decorations down from the attic.  After several attempts to get them moving over the course of a couple of hours, with no success, I got pretty angry and started yelling.  Next thing I know, I said "Fine, don't put up a tree.  See if I care.  We're not having Christmas!"  Yikes!  Holy Ghost of Ebenezer Scrooge!  I couldn't believe what came out of my mouth.  Move over Mr. Grinch, you've got nothing on me.  I'm going to stop Christmas from coming.

 grinch

I decided to put my self in time out and think about how I got so out of hand.  I know I'm frustrated and stressed out but this was just ridiculous.  What happened to that girl that loved Christmas so?  That loved all the holidays and always wanted to dress up?  Where did she go?  How did Scrooge take over my heart and soul?

Though I tried to deny it, and even avoid it by doing some laundry, I eventually came to an AWFUL REALIZATION!  A terrible, horrible, awful truth that I had to confront. 

I had come to expect too much. 

And I don't mean that in the way people normally do.  What I mean is that I had come to expect others to share my needs and wants.  I expected others to want what I wanted.  Not just to anticipate my wants but to actually want the same things, the same goals that I wanted.  I was projecting my desires onto them and then getting upset when, for some strange reason, they didn't share my enthusiasm for that objective. 

And even worse, I realized that I had become selfish in my giving.  I was doing things for others with the constant thought in the back of my head of "what's in it for me"?   Ugh!  When did I become this self centered, demanding, egocentric, pain in the donkey?

I'm ashamed of who I've become. How far I've fallen from the person I use to be.  I miss the little girl that used to get up and check to see how many cookies Santa had eaten.  I know I can't go back, but I can move forward with a renewed sense of self. 

Christmas Tree with Presents

Acceptance means something different to me now.  It's not about accepting who I am but about accepting that I have limitations.  It's about knowing that I can't do it all and that I don't, and shouldn't, have to.  It's about accepting others for who they are without projecting my expectations on them.  And accepting the fact that they march to the tune of a different drummer (pa rum pum pum pum).

And Christmas, it's about sharing.  It's about giving freely of yourself, whatever you wish to share whether it be your time, talents or money.  To give without any anticipation or desire for recompense or even acknowledgement.  And to accept the wonderful gift that others have given us by choosing to be a part of our lives no matter how brief or flitting that moment may be. 

May your holidays be full of shared moments!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Posted by

Anita S. Crum

Associate Broker

Rose and Womble Realty Company

Comments (7)

Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman
Liberty Homes - Mililani, HI
(RA) AHWD CRS ePRO OAHU HAWAII REAL ESTATE

We're missing these!  Gotcha! Ah...the mental bank tallying up the what have I done/given them? Good you recognized it and moving on. What a wonderful gift!

Dec 14, 2008 02:17 PM
Tami Vroma
West Michigan Real Estate Specialist-Five Star Real Estate - Grand Haven, MI
Realtor, Grand Rapids MI Real Estate

Thanks for entering the Holiday Acceptance contest.  Merry CHRISTmas and Happy New Year!

Dec 15, 2008 01:39 AM
Anita S. Crum
Rose and Womble Realty Company - Newport News, VA
Hampton Roads Real Estate (757) 692-6438

Sally - thank you.  And thank you for organizing this wonderful contest.  I wasn't planning on participating at first but after my "ah ha" moment, I felt the need to share and thought this was the perfect opportunity.

Tami - thank you and Merry Christmas and a very happy and prosperous New Year to you!

Dec 15, 2008 02:15 PM
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

We all have to accept our limitation, and at times is hard.  Good post. Merry Christmas.

Dec 15, 2008 05:08 PM
Ann Cummings
RE/MAX Shoreline - NH and Maine - Portsmouth, NH
Portsmouth NH Real Estate Preferrable Agent

Hi Anita - thank you for writing this post and for submitting it to the holiday acceptance contest!

Ann

Dec 16, 2008 12:42 AM
David Slavin
Keller Williams Premier - Katy, TX
CDPE, ABR, SRES Keller Williams Premier

All we can do is accept the reality of today.  Then make the best of it while keeping a possitive attitude.

Dec 16, 2008 04:22 AM
Anita S. Crum
Rose and Womble Realty Company - Newport News, VA
Hampton Roads Real Estate (757) 692-6438

Rebecca - Thank you.  Yes it's very hard to accept our limitations, especially when we are in denial that we have any. :)  Merry Christmas to you too.

Ann - Thank you.  This was my first time participating in an AR contest. 

David - Thanks.  Reality can be such a bummer sometimes, lol.  Need to keep applying that saying about how if life gives you lemons.... make lemonade. :)

Dec 18, 2008 11:23 PM