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Black cat hissing while sitting in a box.

image courtesy of g.originals

My wife and I have a tendency to find stray cats.

Since our last cat passed away, we have been noticing a little cat scooting about our backyard late at night.  Over time, we realized he was heading under the large deck in our backyard and assumed he must be living under there.  He was scared and jumped at any noise and headed right for his little lair of darkness.  Like we do every time we see a stray, we decided to name him ("Spaghetti Cat" was our choice) and started bringing out bits of food to him.  We started with some scraps from dinners and such, as we didn't have any cat food laying around.  We would deposit these treats near the entrance to his hiding spot and we would see him sneak out, grab the food, and return to his safety under the deck.  As the days passed and we continued out back and forth with Spaghetti Cat, he began to hang around a little longer each time.  He was still frightened, but you could tell he was beginning to recognize us as the "bringers of food."

Taking the next steps.

After this went on for awhile, we decided to buy some cat food and break out our old cat's bowls.  A little water and some crunchies slowly became a routine.  We would talk to S.C. (also know as Spaghetti, Sketti, and Bud) as he munched and try to keep him calm and soothed.  Sometimes he's get spooked and return to his safe place, but over time, he settled into a routine.  Eating when we came home and in the morning.  He started waiting for his food and meowing when we came home.  He was hungry and wanted what he had come to expect.  As he became more and more comfortable, we moved the bowls a little closer.  Closer meant having to be near us, which at first caused some problems.  Some hissing, some growling, some quick dashes back under the deck.  Change is never fun for anyone, but we worked through it.  We kept soothing him with our voices and trying to be his "friend."  Eventually his bowls made it to the side door.  His curiosity over the door increased and he started to look inside.

Then came the cold, hail, and rain.

My wife was concerned about Spaghetti Cat as we had a bit of cold weather approaching, so she got out our cat carrier and put a nice towel inside it, hoping the cat would use it and stay warm over the next few days.  He resisted as he does with everything, but eventually one morning as I went to feed him, I saw him poke his head out of his new home as he cried for food.  One more step.  He was still nervous, but he began to stay close and watch, instead of immediately running in fear.  The comfort level had increased.

The breakthrough?

Lately, we've left the door open a few times and he's even stepped foot in the house, testing it out, sniffing around.  He has yet to move in to his new home, but he's contemplating it.  As for the two of us, we are patiently encouraging him, but not forcing him (anyone who owns a cat knows you can't "force" a cat to do much).  We want him to make the decision and move in when he's ready.  I know he will eventually, but he's just not ready for it yet.  When he does, my wife and I will be there for him to help him settle in and get even more comfortable.  Someday, the three of us will look back at those long days and laugh (well, I hope he won't laugh - that would scare me) and remember how long we waited and how scared he was.  He will be happy that we didn't give up on him though, because he'll now live in the perfect home filled with love and crunchies.  I can hear him purring already.

Usually this is where I would make my comparisons to make my point, but I think the point is clear and you'll be able to see exactly what I'm trying to say.  I'd also like to point out that the photo above is not our new friend, as he doesn't seem to trust the camera yet.  We'll work on that separately.

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46 Comments on Lessons I'm learning from the cat under my deck.

DEC
20
2008
414,697 Points 24 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

For a brief moment I pictured the three of ya'll laughing.  That made me laugh out loud.  Ahhhh, crunchies, they are delightful aren't they?  I am glad S.C. found some nice, loving people to look out for him, especially around the holidays.  KM

9:45am • #1
1,225,855 Points 262 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Matt...

You're from PA and a cat lover too? We ARE kindred spirits!

10:01am • #2
460,544 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Awww, what a sweet story, Matt... I just took in my daughter's tuxedo cat but since my husband is allergic to cats he has to live (mostly) on our screened in patio that has all the cat comforts and a doggie door.  He comes in the house for short periods, too.  too funny... a laughing cat.  And I "get" what you are trying to say.  :-)

10:06am • #3
208,136 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

great story, and very funny, on a slightly side note, abandoned pets are up in numbes due to abandonment of homes and foreclosures due to owners just leaving them behind

10:59am • #4
588,234 Points 80 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp

Matt, very cool !  Those little break throughs are quite awesome !  Stephanie and I have 2 cats who are our pride of joy !  "Charlie" and "Ashley" are integral parts of our family !

12:02pm • #5

Matt, great that he is coming around. Pets make great family additions even if it takes time for them to adjust to us.

12:07pm • #6
177,236 Points

It's great to read how you and your wife are such cat lovers. Growing up, my family did the same thing...with cats and dogs (of course at separate times!). Merry Christmas!

12:15pm • #7
269,874 Points 59 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Kristin - A laughing cat would be kind of cool.  This one does make some noises like a baby crying when the evil orange cat tries to enter his territory (there are several other random cats living nearby it seems - Grey Cat, Fat Black Cat, Other Black Cat (with no tail) and Orange Cat).  I'm enjoying having him around, but can't wait until he moves in.

Richard - Nice way to answer one blog comment with a comment on another!  Yes, I was never the biggest cat lover (always loved dogs and liked cats), but with my crazy schedules in the past, it was always easier to have a cat.  We adopt the random ones and if we really want one, we will only take an adult from a shelter.  We always seem to get the sick ones.  Our Los Angeles cat had cancer and the last one died of FIV (which was horrible).  We swore we wouldn't have another for awhile and then Spaghetti Cat appeared.  So much for that.  Pittsburgh's a great town, I miss the Strip and a good Primanti Brother's sandwich from time to time.

Shirley - Do you ever have problems with the doggie door with all the racoons, possums, and other critters we have in San Antonio?  That was always my fear in installing one.  Glad to hear you "got" what I was after.  I'm sure many people do, but its easier (and more fun) to talk about cats.

James - Yes, its a shame that people abandon them.  I know that in some cases it was probably a very tough decision to make, but I hope people know there are options.  If I could take them all in I would.

Christopher and Stephanie - As frustrating as it can be to make forward momentum (with cats and business), its also a lot of fun and I enjoy it.  I sometimes curse that little cat when he hisses at me, but I love him anyway.

Eric - I'm a big animal lover overall.  I grew up with a mom who is crazy about animals.  Let's see, I've had; goats, chickens, geese, a turkey, a groundhog, frogs, turtles, fish, dogs, cats, and more birds than you can imagine.  When I was little we had an aviary in my house - parrots, quail, finches, parakeets, and a lot of other birds who's species I forget.  My mom still has chickens, ducks, cats, dogs, and a parrot.  She loves it.  I learned a lot from her when I was young about animals, I guess it rubbed off on me.

Tony - My wife and I toy with the idea of getting a dog, but then we remember walks at 6AM.  That usually kills that conversation for awhile.

4:21pm • #8
DEC
21
2008
1 Featured Post

I see you name your animals the way I do (other black cat..:) I have beagie (a beagle), kitty, and puppy! Thanks for the post, make sure you let us know when SC moves in!!!

7:17am • #9
576,615 Points 3 Featured Posts

Great post and thanks for being thoughtful. My wife hasa thing about bringing every stray she can find home with her. This post helps me to think and realize we all have a purpose in life. I always wonder if I will come home to a bunch of homeless people one day. So if you ever have a story on that please hurry and post it. God Bless and Merry Christmas.

7:43am • #10
848,742 Points 153 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Matt, I get it! Good point be welcoming, invite those leads in, but they move that THEIR pace, not ours. Forcing a relationshop never works, in anything. Time and patience and gracefulness win the day.

7:55am • #11
4 Featured Posts

Great analogy Matt. Being "there" and "available" with just the right amount of "attention" and "presence" are key ingredients in forging any new relationship.

7:59am • #12

Matt,

Thank you for sharing the story of Spaghetti. The cat will come inside eventually.

 

Joel
8:15am • #13
751,907 Points 7 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Called Shot Master

A very sweet and funny post.  I do hope Spaghetti will come in soon before it really gets cold. He is probably already settled in your home. 

8:20am • #14
360,757 Points 36 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

What a lovely metaphor.  I get it!  I also love cats.  I only have two Jack Russell Terriers because they do not like any other animals including each other, but I am blessed with five grandcats in one household.  Give my love to spaghetti.

8:30am • #15

Great post, Matt!  Our family has been without a cat since our last one passed away several years ago.  One of my daughters was allergic so we haven't yet had the chance for a new one.  We too have several cats prowling around our yard (but they are not strays, they belong to the neighbors)  I think they would be upset if we took their cat in.

Twitter

9:07am • #16
460,544 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Hi Matt, We haven't had any problems with critters coming in the doggie door.  The door goes from the screened patio to the backyard, but not into our house.  We don't leave any pet food on the patio (only water) or I am sure we would get furry visitors.

9:08am • #17
10 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp

Bravo, Matt! What many agents have yet to realize is that they have to work at the consumer's pace, not the other way around. Whenever we work with brokers to analyze all of the leads they provide to agents - who subsequently abandon them quickly - the number one reason we see is a note from the agent saying "the consumer didn't call me back" - and a total stamina level of about 3 days on average by the agent.

One of the days, the cat will come in from the cold and leap on your lap. Until then, consumers are MUCH more like CATS than DOGS. You can't train them, but they'll eventually rub against your leg!

Happy Holidays!

9:25am • #18
219,587 Points Outside Blog

"My wife and I have a tendency to find stray cats."

Matt, you do not find cats, they find you! They have radar (they must) for finding kind humans. We have had as many as 5 and I never went looking for any of them! I tell people that I have a cat light on my roof and it calls out to any cat in need of a warm meal and a bed. Two are sleeping on my desk as I type this.

9:26am • #19

Matt; I love your story.  How appropriate in todays market.  I also have a cat light on my house, I swear.  I have two cats(at least) living in my garage.  I leave the garage door open just enough for them to get in.  I'm sure I've had other critters out there, also, but hey, all God's creatures, 4 legged and 2 legged, need to know they have somewhere safe and warm.

I also am from the Pittsburgh area, altho I'm a little further SE, McKeesport is where I hail from, so I can relate to Primanti's (for those of you who can't, if you ever get to Pittsburgh, go to Primanti bros for a most unique sandwich) and sometimes a nice cold IC light.  That being said, I also have 2 dogs I've adopted and 2 cats who live in the house with me (which is why the others stay in the garage....territorial creatures they are, yeah!)  Great analogy, great lesson to be learned, and I too would be scared if either of my cats laughed. 

Good luck  in all you do, Happy Holidays.  Let's make 2009 a great year.

Take care of you and yours

diane.cote@cbunited.com     Pensacola Beach, Florida

Diane Cote, CBUnited, Pensacola Beach, Fl
9:48am • #20
284,607 Points 37 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Being a cat lover, I truly appreciate all of your efforts with SC!  You are making great progress as you "move" his "cheese".  Keep us updated!

10:20am • #21
837,443 Points 163 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

I remember you mentioning that you had named that cat Spaghetti Cat in one of your Twitter updates.  Hilarious!  Great job here, rock star!  Congrats on getting featured.

11:12am • #22
2 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp

Good photo. Surprised you didn't name him "boo", but maybe you didn't have that box for him right away.  Takes me back. I too have adopted a number of strays.  Patience is a virture especially when working with a cat. 

11:14am • #23
1,225,855 Points 262 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Matt...

Now are you completely befuddled about what constitutes a feature post? Good, because that's the way, un-huh un-huh, I like it! Congrats on the Gold Star.

11:32am • #24
269,874 Points 59 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Tara - My wife and I have two cats (we don't count Spaghetti Cat....yet) since we've been together.  Both have had names that begin with "The" and their collar tags always used "The" as well.  It always causes a little laughter at the vet.  How's "The Molly" doing?  How's "The Moo" today.  I love it and it makes them sound very important.

Charles - I do what I can with the strays.  They always make the best pets, because they're always appreciative.

Missy - It actually came to me after feeding the cat and getting an email from a buyer who I've been working on.  We've had some great conversations, then he disappeared a bit.  I got nervous, but I was determined not to give up.  Him and his fiance are the perfect couple for me to work with (he's a former musician no less).  We clicked and I would love to help them.  Out of the blue, an email in my inbox and it looks like we're slowly moving forward.

Craig - You summed it up perfectly I think.  Maybe I should just write one line blogs that are that clear.  Nah, I can't write that short, its just not in my nature.

Joel - Oh he will!  I have a good success ratio.  The cat from Los Angeles (The Moo) hated us.  He avoided us.  I'll never forget I came home from tour one month and my wife had friends in town.  They went out and I was so beat (having just flown home straight from Russia) I decided to stay in.  It was a typical gorgeous L.A. night so I had the patio door open, laying on the couch, watching The Sopranos as I drifted off for a bit of a nap.  I was startled when a cat suddenly was on my lap and I woke up.  I was a bit scared (as I had been enjoying my nap) and didn't know what to do.  I put my hand on the cat and started to pet him a bit.  The purring started.  In a few weeks he was a proper house cat and slept in our bed.

Rebecca - I was worried this morning as its pretty cold and I hadn't seen him yet, but I just saw him.  Spaghetti Cat has been sighted and is now full!

Marian - I have never heard them referred to as "grandcats."   Made me laugh.  Careful tossing words like that around, they might start calling you the "Crazy Old Cat Lady."  Haha.

Kris - One of the cats, "Black Cat (with no tail)" is someone's cat (collared).  He's kind of mean and tries to steal all the food.  A few simple "shoos" and the occasional "oi!" usually take care of him.  I hate to send him packing, but I do have to have limits.

Shirley - It only takes one single crunchie and the ants come out in force.  I unfortunately think Spaghetti has eaten many an ant.

Matthew - The post was inspired by a comment I had overheard in the office about how the potential buyer was dragging their feet and driving the agent nuts.  While I understand that there are people out there that are just testing the waters and can occupy a lot of time for an agent, I hate to hear stuff like that.  Everybody will buy or sell someday.  I have time.  I can wait.  But I must continue to be there to make sure I am the agent of choice (there's other factors, but I think this is the base).  I am working on a buyer right now that I am taking it slow with.  I know where I stand with them.  I know it will happen, but in the meantime, I am building that relationship and I have seen that its working.  When they do buy, it will be a great day and I'll be thrilled, but until then, I'm enjoying their company and the process of looking.  We've seen some great houses and I see it as an opportunity for me to learn as much as it is for me to work with them.

David - I have a great mental image of the "Bat signal" with "cat" replacing the "bat."  I guess that makes me Commissioner Gordon.

Diane C. - "Unique sandwich" is a great way to describe it.  I always tell people to not question what comes on a sandwhich there, just order the meat/cheese you want and let it happen.  My personal favorite is Genoa Salami with Provolone.  Add a bottle of hot sauce sitting beside it and I'm a happy man.

Diane A. - Someone lent me that book not too long ago.  If I hadn't read it, I might think "what in the world is she talking about."

Jason - Yeah, @LaniAR and @DrewFristoe were laughing about him as I had named him in Lani's honor after a late night round of laughter over the latest appearance of SC on The Soup.  I couldn't believe the feature, I woke up this morning and thought, who emailed me a billion times?

Eileen - The photo isn't mine.  It came from Flickr, I just tried to find the best photo of a similar cat that looked angry.  I think I actually searched for "fluffy black cat" in order to find that one.

Richard - Thanks!  I never would have guessed this would be a feature, especially when a lot of the comments were about the cat and not the lesson.  I guess someone at AR has a soft spot for cats.

 

12:04pm • #25
247,036 Points 1 Featured Post Attended Rain Camp

It takes patience, patience, and more patience. And meeting on their level, not yours.

We had an adopted stray years ago, named him OC (outside cat).

12:23pm • #26
179,006 Points 13 Featured Posts

Hi Matt,

Great post - scary picture though!

I think it is great what you are doing.

I have a place in my heart for animals as well and am trying to instill this in our babies.

12:27pm • #27

Hi Matt,

 

Cats know how to find good homes better than you can believe! I would welcome him just as you have.

He is a lucky fella! Keep us posted on his antics.

Melissa Evans Exit Realty of Beaufort SC
12:36pm • #28

What a wonderful story.... and you are right good things come to all if we have the time and patience....

 

1:22pm • #29

Hi Matt - Your story really hit home with me. My wife and I have lived with numerous cats over the years. Now we're down to only one cat but every time a stray or neighborhood cat comes through the yard, we can't help but say hello and hope the critter comes over for some loving. I think it's an instinctual thing with some people: we just love cats!!! If you have a couple of minutes, you might find my blog post entitled Get Inspired with William R. Murrows "This American Life:

 http://kenmore.neighborhoodsundressed.com/2008/11/08/stay-inspired-by-edward-r-murrows-this-i-

There's a wonderful reference to a story about a cat that I hope you enjoy. Peace!

James Lupori, Keller Williams North Seattle
2:43pm • #30
1 Featured Post

Dear Matt,

My Mother has befriended the neighbor's cat. Now this cat is well-fed and loved, but Mom gives him special attention. She lets him in, gives him special treats, and lets him sit in her lap for hours while she pets him.

I am sure that he would be happy to leave his friends behind, if Mom would keep him!

Barbara

2:54pm • #31
615,409 Points Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Let us hope he continues to get comfortable -- you are doing a good thing by making his winter a bit warmer.

3:01pm • #32
269,874 Points 59 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Leslie - OC is an awesome name.  I may have to steal that one day.  You may steal our other name we've been working on for years, but haven't used..."Sir Lix-A-Lot."  Its pretty lame, but makes me laugh every time.

Mark - It brings me pleasure I have to admit.  I'm trying to help the little guy out, but I also have my own motivation...a fluffy cat on a cold winter's night is always a good thing.

Melissa - Yeah they tend to gravitate to our house and the neighbors - she's got a virtual zoo over there.  She's great with animals, even turning our people-hating old cat into a loving friendly cat that would sit inside her house every morning while she had coffee with her two dogs and her bird.

Nancy - Patience (I have the hardest time with this word and trying to remember how to spell it) is necessary and I admit, not always one of my strongest suits.  It can be frustrating at times, but I've learned to push through my impatience.

James - Wow, what a great story.  I can totally imagine those guys and what it felt like for them.  They probably lived a great few moments with that cat and had some hope and good times thanks to the cat.  Of course, the cat got so much attention, I'm sure he was thrilled.  Thanks for sharing that, I had never heard about the series, but I think I'll spend some time checking it out.

Barbara - I often wonder where my various cats wander off to.  I know they're not stupid and try and get in good with other neighbors.  As long as they return home, I will resist calling them traitors.

Bob & Carolin - My wife just added a new layer to his bedding and covered the carrier with some more towels to keep it warmer inside.  Its really windy and cold today, so she was worried about him.  No wonder I love my wife.

Since the response was so great to the story of Spahetti Cat, I made another attempt to grab a photo and this time, I succeeded.  This is my gift to all of you.  Merry Christmas and thanks for stopping in and commenting.  Spaghetti Cat himself apprecaites all your kind words and someday (after I train him to laugh), we will call each of you personally and laugh down the phone.  When you get that mysterious phone call with a laughing cat, you'll know who it was.

Spaghetti Cat on the deck

Spaghetti Cat on the deck

3:41pm • #33
117,351 Points 15 Featured Posts

Matt o so looks like you get S.P for Christmas!  I would probably take in every stray if my husband would let me.

3:51pm • #34
232,815 Points 1 Featured Post Attended Rain Camp

That's great Matt.  I'm sure S.C appreciates your kindness.  I too took in a kitten several months ago.  She was all by herself at a vacant foreclosure.  She would not stay and kept following us, so I brought her home.  She is the terror of my home now.  But I love her so much.

 

4:13pm • #35
1 Featured Post Attended Rain Camp

Absolutely LOVED the story, Matt, and the analogy!!!  And glad to see that SC did finally tolerate the camera!  She's adorable!!!!  And it's so nice that she, whether she intended to or not, has found a loving home!

Happy Holidays!

6:29pm • #36
269,874 Points 59 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Nannette - I probably would as well.

Angelia - Great photo.  I think if I came across one in a foreclosure I would have no choice but to bring him home.

Judi - It was actually fun to write and enjoyable to see the comments about the analogy and Spaghetti as well.  i don't know if I would call those poses "tolerating" - they were actually taken right before he hopped up on the bench and thought about going over the fence (he does that a lot).

7:05pm • #37
182,099 Points 13 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

From my kitties to yours, Happy Holidays!!!!!beavis and tabitha

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tina in Virginia

7:35pm • #38
134,342 Points 3 Featured Posts Outside Blog

This is a very sweet story.  Thank you for sharing.  Your patience and kindness warms my heart.

7:45pm • #39
276,303 Points 3 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp

This is what we should all strice to do.

Marcy Moyer Inero Real Estate Menlo Park Ca

8:24pm • #40
DEC
22
2008
269,874 Points 59 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Tina - Thanks!  I hope everyone has a great holiday, I know I will (we're even celebrating Boxing Day this year with lots of Americans, so it will nice to show them the English side of the holidays).

Melody - Thanks for taking the time to stop in and read it.  I'm always shocked at how many people read these posts!

Marcy - And when it works, its such a great feeling.

9:18am • #41

Matt, you are me kind of people!  I found a stray at my boyfriends house a few months ago.  I eventually have transported my dog carrier, blankets, food dishes and food to his house.  The cat is very affectionate and we have to keep him out of the house or he will for sure make himself at home.  He seems to be happy with the relationship, not too keen on the idea of making himself at home in the carrier though.  I'm sure we won't stray too far away from it, he knows when he has it made! I have two 15 year old cats at my home or I would bring him home with me. Thank you for taking time to take care of the cats that need help.  Happy Holidays and a prosperous New Year!

Kay Raber
10:06am • #42
269,874 Points 59 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Kay - Its great to hear so many stories of people caring for strays.  I've always been a big advocate of it and here in San Antonio we have some great people working hard to help out where they can (the Animal Defense League is my personal favorite and is where we donated all of my previous cats toys, bedding, food, medicine when she died).  Have a great holiday as well!

11:03am • #43
JAN
05
2009
538,546 Points 6 Featured Posts

Hi Matt:

Great post.  Love these stories...thanks for posting it to the group!

ToulaRosebrock.com - DianeTurton.net

10:04am • #44
269,874 Points 59 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Toula - I figured it was appropriate for the group, even though it is really real estate related.  Glad you enjoyed it.

12:37pm • #45
JAN
06
2009

Mr. Spaghetti is very handsome!  Great job! Have you tired some irresistable tuna on a spoon? Or babyfood? We have found that spoon feeding treats helps the kitties get comfortable to being closer to the feeder. It looks like your guy is progressing well and he is a lucky kitty to have found your deck.

3:47pm • #46

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