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Out with the old, in with the ... old?

It's interesting to prowl around the internet these days. Anyone in search of ways to promote a website or a profession will stumble across a seemingly endless number of articles touting the advantages of Social Networking. Regardless of the industry, harnessing social networks seems to be the dominant idea behind effective website promotion. Lists of Social Networking sites are published. Discussions on the merits of each, the effectiveness of each and the usability of each abound. Yawn...

Let me clarify that

Social networking works. I won't try to argue that point. What's interesting is the fact that many people think social networking is new! It's not. It's been around for hundreds or thousands of years. Social networking existed long before the Internet came along. It worked quite well in medieval Europe, and it was effective during the infancy of the United States. Social networking is alive and well in the political arena although LinkedIn is not the venue. The "Old Boys Club" is a social network!

Real estate professionals were social networking in the 70's (and before)

Blogging didn't exist in the 70's but social networking was a big part of day-to-day business in the real estate industry and many others. Think Rolodex! Everybody had one. Computers were rare; an expensive new toy at the time. Cell phones didn't exist, never mind PDA's. Yet the top professionals in the real estate arena shared a common trait. They all had a "list". On the list were the names and contact information of other professionals in related industries. This network of inter-related professionals collaborated to fine-tune the intricacies of a real estate transaction.

"No man is an island"

Has anyone not heard that saying? It's been around for so long nobody really knows how old the saying is. That saying has been passed down from one generation to the next for years. And all it really means is that life (and business) is almost impossible when you "go it alone". We need the social aspects of life. Socializing makes life more fun. It smooths the way in interpersonal communications and simplifies business transactions. It keeps us connected. It keeps us mentally healthy.

Slow down and take a deep breath

Many, many people seem to be literally running to keep up with each new way to harness social networks on the Internet. It makes my head hurt.

Networking is nothing more than building relationships. It's no different than getting to know your barber or having regular coversations with the check out person at your local grocery. Your barber and the grocery checker just might call you when they need the services of a real estate professional because you took the time to know them. Internet social networks only work well for people who take this same approach. Building relationships takes time. Internet social networking is the same as face-to-face networking in that respect.

It's better to have a short list of contacts who know you well, than a long list of contacts who barely recognize your name. Doesn't it make sense? Which group of contacts is more likely to call you when they need help?

The real advantage of internet social networks

For people who live in small communities or others like me, who are simply homebodies, the power of internet social networking really becomes apparent when you consider the sheer number of folks you can reach. It is truly amazing. I have contacts, friends and professional relationships all over the United States due to my activities on websites like ActiveRain. Before the internet, this would have been all but impossible to achieve.

Yet, in the final analysis, each and every one of these relationships took time to develop. Just like the relationship I have with my barber!

Posted by Mark Flanders on 12/22/2008 06:58 PM

Comments (89)

Building Relationships in the ActiveRain Channel

building relationships, effective social networking

89 Comments on Out with the old, in with the ... old?

DEC

Goodness Mark. You have certainly been missed.

I, for one, don't spend any time on any "social network".

I do, however, spend a considerable amount of time on this "real estate network".

It was the "real estate" connection that brought me here.

I'm going to be doing some "social networking" on Thursday with family and friends.

Hi Lenn,

More and more lately I've been missing AR. So, I've been trying to get back to writing. Soundbiteblog has been sadly neglected as well, although I've done a little better there.

It's good to hear from you my friend. It has been a long while.

Holy moly is that Mark? How are you my fiend? Wonderful to see you back. Welcome home.

I didn't read your post. Just saw your face and was anxious to say hi.

Hi Mark, Glad to see you posting again. Hope all is well and you are weathering the storm so to speak.

Social Networking ha sbeen around a while as you say but the Internet sure has changed things hasn't it. I think more people can connect via the NET than in those midieval days for sure.

Tak ecare and Merry Christmas.

LOL @ Bryant. Hell, don't bother with the post, a hello is fine with me.

Jay McG, how are you doing? Familiar faces are just what I was hoping for. Yours of course, among them.

Things are well here, all things considered. Took over 3 hours to shovel enough snow to get out of the driveway and into work for a while. We're not used to all this white stuff over here on the North Left coast.

Tell your bride I said hello.

Mark...

I glanced at the post but I was just so awed by your presence I couldn't really concentrate. It's so GOOD to see you. We missed you so much!

What was this post about? And do you mean to tell me Cavemen may have been social? :)

TLW...ROAR!

LOL @TLW

No caveman jokes, I was just on your husband's blog. Christmas Bertha woulda scared the daylights out of those burly cavemen.

Welcome Back Mark! I haven't been around so much myself the past 6 months but Active Rain is prominent in my business plan for 2009. Nice to see you again! I've missed you.

Hi Linda! It's good to see you as well.

Hi Mark - good to see a post from you:) I like to be a homebody sometimes too and the snow amplifies that, but if I took a minute to really think about ALL I could be doing - holy cow - I would go nutso:)!!!!

Hi Mark...Although not in the business in the 70's I was in the 80's. I heartily agree with you. We were talking about of SOI then and networking. Sure it was somewhat different but the intent was the same.

I agree also that for those of us out in the boonies or working from home this is a great way to keep in touch with what's happening and a way to get to know loads of people.

My time is spent here on the Rain. I have signed up on a couple of other sites but time is limited. I want to spend it where I reap the most.

Kate

Courtney

Hey .. a local commenter! How's things in Seattle? We're burried buried in snow here.

Kate

Times change, yet don't change at all. Real estate has always been about people, hasn't it?

Hi Mark...It is about people. That's why I'm still a REALTOR.

Kate (again)

Mark -- it is definately not a new idea! It truly comes down to relationship building and trust. The unique quality of active rain, as you point out, is getting to know and develop relatioinships with people all of the country/worldl! This used to happen at conventions -- so, it is just another form of networking and building relationships and trust. Happy holidays.

Happy Holidays Joan and thanks for adding to the thread :)

I agree with you that it's not new, it's just a new platform to do it. If you weren't good at building a network before, chances are good that you won't be good at it online either. Before the online social networking was "the next big thing" people were streaming into formats like BNI groups. Before that the REI called it "sphere of influence", which is still a phrase that makes me gag. Not that the idea is gross, but rather it is because it was so overused and, like you said before Mark, it's not a new concept - just the same thing with a new catchy name.

Flanders - My real comment is floating in cyber-space for some reason. So, it's nice to see/read you again as I was wondering when you'd pop up. As far social networking, I suppose it's been around since the beginning of capitalistic ideas... probably even before.

Hi Mark, don't know you, but glad to meet you and agree with you completely. I think there is still an old rolodex around somewhere and definitely a "business card book" I saw this new gadget that can scan business cards and put them organized on your computer, really cool and lazy.

Well, I recognized you and your name on Facebook :) :)

I think I'd like to see you more here....rather than just a hi there...you have wonderful info and writing here :)

You are right it is all about the give and take

Reba

LOL, I know what you mean. I should have added "if you aren't good at this in person, you'll struggle online too" to the post.

Jason

Rich is off to CA for Christmas so I decided to come out and play

Mark,

You're right about networking in the ‘70's, at least in the commercial / investment community. I spent 10 years with the CCIM marking group. Two days a month and another 3 days a month with the Farm and Land Institute (FLI). Not to mention quarterly sessions nationally. Networking was a vital part of our continued profit and existence.

It was not the same in the residential business, brokers and salesmen were just too skeptical of each others motives. The best networked with a few friends, but the masses didn't even trust even their own office mates.

The internet has allowed us much of that person intimacy, with out the being vulnerable to potential rivals. It has given all of us the opportunity to share the knowledge and experience of the old sages and the bright beginners, it is wonderful! We are even seeing more profit, by cooperation.

What would we have done if Al Gore hadn't invented the internet for us? Maybe we should all order his carbon credit gift cards for Christmas gifts!

Merry Christmas to all!

Bill

Christine,

It's good to meet you :) Love the "really cool and lazy" gadget. Sounds like something I would have used

Hi Mark...Long time no see! Pre MLS the brokers in my area networked all time...the old fashioned way. Face to Face. It worked in those days just like it works today..albeit today it's much easier.

Happy Holidays Mark.

Sally,

Yeah, yeah ... glad you still recognized it. I have misssed the comments and the conversations.

Russ,

Thanks for the visit :)

William,

What would we do indeed? Long live Al Gore!

This, by the way, is a terrific phrase:

It has given all of us the opportunity to share the knowledge and experience of the old sages and the bright beginners

Hi Moni!

I was conversing with your hubby earlier (well, virtual conversing)

Happy Holidays to you as well

...many people seem to be literally running to keep up with each new way to harness social networks on the Internet...

Mark- Every week there seems to be another new site to join. While I have my profile on a few of the more prominent social network sites, the only place that I spend any time is on ActiveRain. My focus is on real estate and AR allows me to concentrate my efforts on nurturing relationships within that field

Marilyn,

The invitations to this or that new platform are endless. And each one, a potential distraction.

with so many social networks out there.. it is hard to find time for them all. Have to pick a few and hang on

What a coincidence ... I mentioned you in a post earlier today, and here you are! Nice to see you back in the Rain, Mark. One of the keys to successful social networking is balance -- finding a way to maintain an active, productive presence without it negatively affecting our real-world contacts. Some of us can easily keep up 3-5 sites; others struggle to understand one. Either way it's ultimately about building relationships.

Mark this is the first time reading a post of yours, and by the sounds of it they all are as good as this one. It was great (I tend to be going too fast trying to reach as many people as I can each day, and not spending time on those relationships that will matter...) Look forward to hearing more.

My goodness, more things for me to investigate--Interesting post.

The three Active Rain gathering I attended were proof of how well this form of social networking is working. Besides being fun, I have gotten a decent percentage of my business through this.

Well, I too have heard so much about it that I decided to wade into Twitter. I still don't really get it. How is someone talking about football or their family or their trip to the grocery store supposed to help me find clients? Oh well. Back to my tried and true methods.

Mark - good to see you writing here again, seems like a long time...or perhaps I have been unaware.

It really is all about creating and maintaining relationships, just in another format and with greater breadth. I think there are some qualitative differences, in particular with folks we never meet F2F. On the other hand we have an opportunity to create many more relationships in our network than if we rely only on those where we can meet in person. It becomes easier as one realizes what it's all about.

Jeff

DEC

You hit the nail on the head. All we're doing is using technology to network, instead of standing around at some boring event, trying to convince someone to do business with you. IMHO, this way is much more laid back, with less pressure to hurry up and make someone like you! LOL. I always hated that concept. This way, when a buyer or seller contacts me, they feel like they already know me. They tell me they've been reading my blog and appreciate the info. The same goes for referrals from other agents.

well said. It is true - something new is something old in a new form.

Yes, I agree it is all about people, and network sites are a great way to converse without having to spend hours away from home...Great Post!

Happy Holidays!
Shawn

I am a member at numerous "social networking" sites, I rarely socialize. I mostly do it for business(except AR), however, I have made some good friends through AR and am even referring a personal issue to a fellow agent in my home town. The web age has given us the ability to reach others all over the world, but you are spot on about it being relationship building. It is so funny that so many things are touted as "new" when they are really just coming back around again...

It appears you have been gone for awhile. I'm new to ActiveRain so didn't know you since I'm in Texas (it's cold for Austin this morning 33 but should be back in the 50's this afternoon - no shoveling of snow)! Iliked your post. Social network working has been around along time but ActiveRain allows you to reach out across the country and not just in your city. Oh I meet people @ National Conventions which help but not in the same way. I like to read the blogs (and there are great ones) to get a different take on things. i wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas!

Roland,

I agree. Pick a couple, or a few and concentrate on building relationships

John,

It's been awhile. I saw your post for Rich's bday. I remember all those hats. What a conspiracy we had going that day!

Bradley,

It's an easy trap to fall into. I've done it. But relationships take time and effort

Hi Randy,

It is fun. And that's half the fun isn't it? Share some conversation, do a little "shop talk" and the next thing you know, you're calling someone new because you got to know them. Just like the old days but with a twist.

The Best Spot,

I know what you mean. Twitter still baffles me to some extent. Maybe its just that I'm too wordy and 140 characters doesn't cut it!

Very nice Mark, you are truly transparent - well done post. Never forgetting the person to person contact is key. It is easy to hide behind this box - but in reality those points of communication fall very short of the firm and dry handshake and the embracing of bretheren (sistereren?? Too!)

Connor MacIVOR

Excellent post, Mark. I was listening to a webinar the other day and thats an analogy they used, Social Networking is like on big cocktail party. The internet, as you pointed out, just makes that party bigger and brings in people from across the country.

Jeff D.

Yup ... I think you said it better than I did :) (and in fewer words)

Lisa H.

lol! ... less pressure to hurry up and make someone like you ... Now that phrase explains it all!

Tom L. & Shawn D.

Thank you

Thanks for the exceptional post! You are right social networking is not a new concept. I just find ActveRain a very informative way of learning things and interacting with agents all across the country. Merry Christmas!!

An excellent post. Yes, it takes time to build relationships. But, remember just like a marriage, you got to keep working at the relationship(s). I certainly agree with your statement, "Socializing makes life more fun. It smooths the way in interpersonal communications and simplifies business transactions. It keeps us connected. It keeps us mentally healthy."

Connor,

Thanks. That's another good point; '.. hiding behind this box ..'. It defeats the whole purpose of the social part of networking, doesn't it.

Kris,

The cocktail party analogy is a good one. Thanks for adding to this thread. If you would remove the Twitter link in you comment, I would appreciate it. This has been a link-spam free blog since 2006. I used to have a graphic in the sidebar. Don't know when I took it off.

Absorbing

Dorie D.

I couldn't agree more. The past 2+ years have introduced me to some very smart real estate people here. It's been a terrific educational tool. Merry Christmas to you too!

Rebecca G.

Too true. Any relationship has similarities to marriage. The more we put in, the more we get out. The speed and breadth of the internet can make it easy to forget.

Mark,

What a great post!

In recent months, I've been pushing my agents to get back to the basics of relationship building - online and offline.

I think that's the difference today - you have to do both really well to win in the long term.

Diamond Dwellings

Thanks. This is a topic that's been on my mind for a while. The draft of this post was written in August.

Your comment reminded me of an article Brian Brady wrote a long time ago here on AR. He explored using offline marketing to increase his exposure in a unique way and it worked quite well. What Brian did was to create a booklet of his ActiveRain posts which he then spread around his community. I remember specifically he left a copy of his booklet in barber shops.

I always thought that was a terrific way to combine the power of offline marketing with the power of online.

Mark I read your post and I found it interesting, but what I found more interesting was the response from your readers. Apparently you are a very popular guy. I want to read more of what you had to say, to see what I missed.

Lisa L.

Well ... I guess I used to be. There was a time I was #2 on the network. I also had the honor of being the first member-moderator for the AR Network (back when we had Moderators). But that was long ago.

Welcome to this corner of the Network :)

Mark. Nice way to put things in perspective. Moderation is the key. It applies to social networking as well as chocolate!

From the Essays of John Donne, in Mediations XVII:

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee. Neither can we call this a begging of misery, or a borrowing of misery, as though we were not miserable enough of ourselves, but must fetch in more from the next house, in taking upon us the misery of our neighbours. Truly it were an excusable covetousness if we did, for affliction is a treasure, and scarce any man hath enough of it. No man hath affliction enough that is not matured and ripened by and made fit for God by that affliction. If a man carry treasure in bullion, or in a wedge of gold, and have none coined into current money, his treasure will not defray him as he travels. Tribulation is treasure in the nature of it, but it is not current money in the use of it, except we get nearer and nearer our home, heaven, by it. Another man may be sick too, and sick to death, and this affliction may lie in his bowels, as gold in a mine, and be of no use to him; but this bell, that tells me of his affliction, digs out and applies that gold to me: if by this consideration of another's danger I take mine own into contemplation, and so secure myself, by making my recourse to my God, who is our only security.

Thanks for reminding me of this, and putting it in a modern context,

Tim

Back to basics, seems easy enough, what it all boils down to is getting back to being human. A perfect time to reflect on Charles Dickens- A Christmas Carol. Scrooge finally got it right. Start looking now on getting involved in people's lives.

It's not about how many contacts you have in your e-mail account, it's about your genuine contacts throughout the year. Sounds simple, sounds less hectic, sound human to me.

Wow, two of the best comments are way down here at the end

Tim B.

Thanks for that. I had forgotten just how well-written the original text was. Once again it shows that many things are not really new. They are often old ideas spoken in today's language. Thanks very much for adding this to the conversation.

Linda N.

Sounds simple, sounds less hectic, sound human to me

You hit the nail on the head. Where would any of us be without the human interaction of a real estate transaction?

Interesting...

Did anyone, other than me, have an MLS Book Burning party? :)

TLW...ROAR!

TLW

I remember those days! I used to get a week old copy from a realtor friend long before I got into mortgages and was actively looking for investment properties.

Now that I think about it, that's a pretty good example of social networking before there were "social networks".

You know, this is a great spot for those of us who love to "visit" our co-Realtors and related associates as well as show off how smart we are! My Broker was laughing at me during this fall's Wisconsin Realtor's convention because I handed out 500 cards (and collected almost as many) in a face-to-face networking arena, but after the 4th referral came in she wasn't laughing any more! It's great to read what other's have to say about their own markets - ours in the Chippewa Valley is pretty average, but from comments and stories here I can get a great country wide view of RE without listening to the folderol on the news affiliates.

By the way, I got several great clients off Facebook, one off MySpace, and none off Twitter, though one of my friends that I IM on AOL sent info to another of her friends, and that is turning into a sale. Social Networking where it makes sense is important, social networking on any of the hundreds of sites that don't make sense is important to avoid.

Have a great New Year!

Carrie Heath, "Your Agent for Life!"

Prudential Benrud Realty, Inc

Social networking is here to stay and there's nothing new about it - except for the numbers of people who are getting on board! Great post.

Words of wisdom! I do believe that if a person would go back to the basics of social networking offline as much we do on-line (or at least 1/3 as much) that the basics would become the business edge on our competitor. Thanks

Nicely said. I am newish to the ActiveRain community but have been 'blogging' or at least have had an online journal for years and years. It began as a way to keep in touch with friends when we all scattered after high school; to catch up with each other even when we didn't have time to actually talk. Now with ActiveRain I hope to evolve it into a more professional arena but still have fun with it.

Hi Mark...MERRY CHRISTMAS. We're heading into one of the oldest and most popular Social Netting times of the year Christmas and New Years. Net working with our Families and friends over the holiday season. Ah I remember the social net working of the 70's when I first started, the bar was a popular place to meet clients, IC& I Groups to discuss Haves and Wants and just getting together for any reason with friends. We are a social animal, some more than others. I for one look forward to bonding with new and existing clients and friends online with Twitter and Face book and other social media groups. All Good Stuff.

Cheers, great to read your blog again Neighbour, once again MERRY CHRISTMAS from Victoria BC

Well Said!

Hi Mark, I am an absolute newbie (first response) and all I can say is WOW! How can one be anything but impressed with your following? It seems to me that the response to this post is in itself a great testimonial to it's subject.

Thank you Mark for sharing that with us. Your blog was very useful and informative. I hope you have a great day and Happy Holidays!

Wise words, Mark. Internet social networking is simply the newest way to do something that has always been done by successful people.

My point exactly...

We'd all Rally around that stupid book. I was a Director for our local MLS back then. I also served on the Committee that put the MLS into place and we did burn those books. But, we also saved a couple. We had a few Elders that had trouble understanding that social networking was going live on line :) I actually showed one of my Mentors how to use the new MLS system :)

Okay. So I'm getting off topic. I still gets points for mouthing off :)

TLW...ROAR!

Hi Mark,

Congratulations on the feature.

I agree with this, "Many, many people seem to be literally running to keep up with each new way to harness social networks on the Internet. It makes my head hurt. Networking is nothing more than building relationships."

There is something to be said about keeping it simple stupid. Social networking is great. But I think the focus needs to remain on the relationships.

You have broken it down so simply. How can one not understand the effectiveness of Social Networking when it's presented this way.

I have tried to convince some of my Realtor friends without success avenue of leads. You have hit the nail on the head and I will forward it along to them.

www.ManchesterBedfordHooksettHomes.com

You are right. Its a new way to do the same thing. But we have to change with times.

Hi Mark-very informative post. Eons ago(pre-Realtor days) we would go to functions in Houston strictly for business networking. Then of course there's the Chambers of Commerce gatherings. Merry Chrismas.

Mark - Great to see you on here again. Social networking has changed our lives for sure. Oh and thanks for friending me on facebook recently. Have a great Holiday and keep up the great blogs. Always good to read your posts. Bob and Lisa H.

Ah yes, good old networking. I was doing that long, long ago too, when I owned a travel agency. Seasoned agents in our office say that the telephone still works wonders. Happy Holidays.

Great Post Mark! How's the snow up there in Washington?

Mark, true true!!! face to face is best. Internet social networks can introduce you to groups of people you would have not otherwise met out in public. It's a good rule of thumb for folks to join one or 2 groups and work them fully to reap the rewards of meeting people online and building relationships.

Hi Mark - jeez, it's great to see you back here again! You're been missed for sure.

The 'good ole days'.... there will be a day when people will look back on all the 'networking' of today and think it's so 'old school'. Makes one wonder what 'networking' will be like then. Things have certainly changed. The internet has most assuredly made our world so very different, and has made it so much smaller than I'd bet any of us could ever have imagined. Look at how many people we've connected with and become friends with just here on AR!

I hope you're doing well, and it really is great to see you here again!
Ann

Wow, what a pleasant surprise to see you here. Yep that would be me, lately. I'd rather be warm in my P.J.'s than out and about. Although I do try to network with local folks I have been meeting on Twitter and Facebook.

Merry Christmas.

Mark, this is just a wonderful post! And until Active Rain, I thought that social networking was match.com!

DEC

A great post. Networking is not new, only the medium has changed.

DEC

I wish you could tell the agents in my office this....I asked the broker to let me e-mail everyone so I could get permission to do Open Houses on the office listings...NO-ONE responded.......

How DUMB is THAT??!!??

JAN

Amazing to see you! Happy New Year my friend!

Fran

JAN

Mark,

Thanks for the post. For me it is all about taking it to the next level. The social networking creates an opportunity to showcase. It is the first step in the age of technology, before you have your face to face, and then it is on! harnessing those interpersonal skills to realize the goal.

JUN

MARK: FANTASTIC INFORMATION. I am a believer I never thought of my Rolodex as being a social networking tool, but now that I think about it I used that so much the cards were falling out that I needed to keep re-doing them. These were some great SOI for me. I agree that Socializing makes life more fun. Like you so brilliantly stated it is all about building a solid relationship with another individual who wants to have a dialogue with you. I found your blog because I did a search for feature blog and you were there. I feel your words are terrific to past around to read today at it was back when you posted it 12-22-08 I have re-blogged it so others may read your insights into social networking.,

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