Staging Tact

Hi Mel-  I've had this happen to me before as well during a consultation - just once.  In my case, the couple said that I mentioned "Asian theme" over and over again in my conversations and report, and it really bothered them.  Even though the house was full of Asian pottery, furnishings, wall hangings, accessories - everywhere - I realize now that they took it as an insult.  I'm not sure that even if I was gentler with them, that they still wouldn't have been insulted.  But I do try to be a lot more tactful now and I've just learned that there are certain people that will be insulted no matter how you put it.  The Realtor didn't do a good job of explaining what I was doing there - in my case.

Mel, I wouldn't feel badly about it.  Our clients call us for our honest opinion and you gave it.  I have to often tell my clients they have too many items (clutter to me) and it weighs them down.  Some choose to take my advice and lighten up (and then thank me) and others chose not to.  But I am always doing the best I can to help them---the rest is up to them.  I've had to learn a great deal of tact and diplomacy along the way :)

Mel ~ Don't take it personally.  Sometimes sellers are just too attached to their home and their own possessions and don't realize how important it is to disconnect from them before selling.  If I sense the homeowners are in that category, I try to be gentle but firm at the same time -- to let them know that in order to sell for the best price, their lovely xxx should be packed away.  We've all had some sellers who are receptive and some who are not.  Just know that you did your best and move on to the next lucky client who will appreciate you.

Hi Melody,

It is hard for people to understand the basics of what staging is and what it is not, and I have made the mistake of thinking, hey, they called me, they must know what it is I do!

I now always try to spend a few minutes before my consult begins, before I even put down my briefcase, to explain what I do. I make it short and quick. "I help people prepare their property prior to presentation in the market, by evaluating and suggesting remedies that might hinder a sale. I have staged houses that sold to the first buyer who walked in the door on more than one occassion. If you are ready for my input about your house, I am ready to help reset the energy of this house to appeal instantly to a broad range of buyers. All I need to know is how honest do you want me to be?"

They always say " Fully, of course!"

Then, say "OK!" and I show them a picture of my own house, with my giant red-boned hound on the sofa and my laundry basket on the coffee table, complete with my quirky art choices, and my beloved 20-year collection of refrigerator magnets. I explain that what I tell them to do is in preparation for a faster sale, not as a judgement on their taste of belongings. If my own  house were for sale, many, many changes would be made, and my own things would be packed away, and much neutral paint would be purchased to improve mass approachability. They usually understand at that point where I am coming from and what I am going to do, and we begin the initial walkthru. I also taperecord the event, to formulate wriiten notes later for the seller, and I can simultaneously critique my own diplomacy skills.

Perhaps a similar routine could be of benefit to you and your clients. Mine usually relax a bit after they realize I am a normal person and not a staging nazi - control freak - decor critic getting paid to be mean.

I am unfortunately very blunt and usually pressed for time....a fabulous recipe for disasterous diplomacy. But if I take a minute or three to prepare my clients and become a real person to them, and I get their permission to be honest, the recognize that I am there to help them, not hurt them, and that I won't be taking all day to do it.  Men, especially, seem to respect that angle and the women allow any comments about their decor to deflect harmlessly away.

So the point is, get their permission to be honest. Then, deliver it as nicely as you possibly can, and move on.

Good Luck!

Michelle

Melody, this has happened to me twice.  When in person I always sit down and give the little speech as many have posted.  When they live out of town I write it in an e-mail.  However, both times were out of town people so I think being able to speak to them in person helps.  Bottom line is some people are going to be offended no matter how you say it but they are paying us for the truth so as long as we are nice and diplomatic then the final decision is theirs.

I also give the info session at the beginning of my consultation. I let them know that my own house is painted in "X" but if I was preparing the house to appeal to the widest range of buyers I would create a neutral decor and pack personal effects away. After all, my dream is waiting at the next house and I can't wait to get there! This way you find out how motivated they are to sell.  I along with Michelle Molanari am very blunt in my speech. I am diplomatic, but I make my suggestions always pointing out that they are just that. My professional suggestions. The more the client makes an effort to fulfill the Staging plan the more quickly the desired results will be attained. I work mostly with upper end clientele. On more than one occasion the husband has said to me "my you are are blunt". My standard answer is that we are talking about their equity, how much money they will be able to get out of their property to move on to their new home. That usually gets them nodding in agreement. They seem to understand that line of thinking. I have had Realtors call me back the next day and say they don't know what I said to their client (and they don't want to know!) but that the client started making changes at midnight that night to prepare the house for sale, whereas they had not taken the suggestion from their Realtor for the 7 months previous to me being there. In once case it was removing the hunter green 12" square cermaic tiles from the floor, 4 feet up the wall, the green tub, double sinks and counter tops. That morning he was at Home Depot when it opened at 7 and purchased neutral tiles and had started tiling the bathroom.

So remember, you can't win them all. But you can give your very best professional  opinion and leave it at that. As Maureen said, move on to the client that appreciates the effort you have put  into helping them achieve their goals.

You have gotten great input so far and I would like to join in.  I believe this client would have been a problem for probably all of us.  If given the chance, you probably wouldn't change anything you did and shouldn't.  Like you said "I've not had this happen to me before."  I'm sure it wasn't your technique, it was them.  If we told sellers what we thought they wanted to hear, we would not be doing our job.  I love Michelle's idea of showing a picture of her own house to show them she is just like them. 

Hi Mel,

 I'm still new at this but during the consult I ask these starter questions, Are there any items that must stay in the house?, What would you call "your style"? Do you feel as though "your style" has to be reflected in the stage? These questions have helped me to lay the foundation to helping them to understand what staging is and is not and to call their style as they have, as not to offend. Now, that said I don't know that this would have worked in this situation but maybe those questions can help in the future.  

Hi Mel, I'm also a newbie and when I start my consults the first phrase from me is that we must    de-personalize your home so that potential buyers can see themselves living here. I explain that if buyers can't visualize their belongings in the home they likely will keep looking and move on  to the next listing. Too many personal items distract from the home itself. I ask if they want people to look at their belongings,photos, antiques etc or walk around looking at the house and the space etc..

I try not to use terms specific to their culture or race. People are so finicky and everyone has to be politically correct these days. So far so good but this is a New Year! (smile)

Hi Mel...  I have a huge question though "Who paid you for the job?" If it was the REA then you did what you were paid to do as a professional to help prepare the home for sale. If it was the clients, then you also did what you needed to do to offer a buyer's eye. The home that you successfully staged for them was not their personal property. Now you are stepping into their world and they have not detached themselves. That is the hardest part of a consult because we need to "read" our clients to the advice we will give for the consult. But giving a bid for services and a consult are 2 different things. Once you start offering advice.. the $$$ clock starts ticking. If you do not charge for consults, you are wasting your precious time.  You know that you were honest and gave them great advice.  Breathe, don't beat yourself up.... next :)

Melody - I would send them a nice thank you note wishing them well and let them know you're there if they need assistance in the future. Some people are blinded by their own stuff.