No doubt about it - America's graying. By 2010, one in every five Americans will be over 65. A staggering thought and only a year away! How are we planning to care for them in the near future. Will you relocate your parents to be closer to you, mover back closer to them or try to provide for them long distance? Tough questions to think about.

More than half of homeowners age 65 and over have lived in their homes for 20 plus years. These seniors have deep roots in their respective communities and generally prefer to stay put. They have long friendships developed, known health care providers and entrenched connections to their communities. Uprooting seniors from a known, stabile environment to a new locale that is unfamiliear may not be the best route to take.

So what are you to do? Here are some suggestions to help guide you through the process.

1. Start with an open and honest discussion with your spouse and immediate family members. What are the ramifications of your parents moving with you? Would everyone get along? Is there enough space to ensure privacy for everyone? How will the household be effected? What will the impact be on the family budget? If the health of one of your parents' begins to fail - how will you handle it?

2. Move on to an open and honest discussion with your relatives and parents. Prepare by making a list of all the possible scenarios. Include downsizing the current home with support; staying in the same locale but moving into assisted living apartment or nursing home; moving to the new area and living with you; or moving with you but living somewhere close by. Explore the possibilities of your parents staying where they are. Do you have extended family and close friends who are willing and able to provide support? If not, are there support services in the community where they currently live? Contact local agencies and senior centers.

3. Can your parents afford to move? Explore both of your financial situations completely. If your company is moving you, talk with your relocation director. You might be eligible for elder care assistance.

4. Consider your parents' health. Would the new area be better or worse for them? What kind of medical resources are available?

5. Do your research on your new town. The aid of a local real estate agent is invaluable here. Use them as a resource. Request area maps, information on cultural and recreational resources for retirees. Ask about public transportation for seniors. Would there be shops, restaurants, churches, and social activities within walking distance? 

You must keep in mind that if your parents do move with you and do not like the new area, it might be very difficult to move them back again. If possible visit the new location with your parents to see how they feel about the area before making a decision. A professional real estate agent could provide them with a sightseeing tour that will give them a better sense of what living in the new area might be like.

Moving can be a stressful time for everyone. You will want to discuss all these issues with sensitivity. Seek input from your parents and listen to their concerns. Encourage them to make the decision with you, not just go along with whatever you want. Create a win-win situation for everyone and everyone will win.

(c) 2008 Shannon Aldrich, Keller Williams Coastal Realty Portsmouth NH

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