The following rules MUST be followed when posting to your blog:

 

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.Grammar Man

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Don't use no double negatives.

17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

20. The passive voice is to be ignored.

21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.Grammar

23. Kill all exclamation points!!!

24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth shaking ideas.

26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.

27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

32. Who needs rhetorical questions?

33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

 

And finally... 34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

 

 
Post is included in group: "Whacked"!!!
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21 Comments on Rules for blog posts

DEC
30
1 Featured Post Localism Sponsor

I probably break 5 rules per post...not too bad.

Randall Sandin

http://www.randallsandin.com

http://www.charlestonpierpartners.com

 

3:59pm • #1
2 Featured Posts

Dan,

This is too funny.  Did you write this or is one of those things that get emailed around?  Anyway it's really creative.

Michelle

4:01pm • #2

too tongue and cheek for me!   LOL

Take Care & Have a Great '08!

4:02pm • #3
837,600 Points 213 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

I'm laughing out loud.  I was afraid this was going to be a post criticizing me for many of these infranctions, which happens frequently. 

Good stuff.  Good stuff.

 

4:06pm • #4

I loved this post!  I know I break a number of the rules all the time, without ever meaning to.  Although sometimes, I get a kick out of breaking the rules, and stepping outside the lines.

4:13pm • #6
205,484 Points 5 Featured Posts

hey you "left" a word out on 34.

4:14pm • #7

As an English major, thanks for the giggle this afternoon!

4:16pm • #8
362,712 Points 16 Featured Posts Outside Blog

I am all about breaking "da rules" - which I do frequently! ~Rita (should I add a few more  !!! and commas :)

4:17pm • #9

I thought this was pretty good too - Obviously this is very tongue-in-cheek & I hope nobody things they actually need to follow these rules!

Actually these things are what make blog posts worth reading vs. a science paper.

4:17pm • #10
185,954 Points 31 Featured Posts Outside Blog Hit Router

Clever! And I am guilty of breaking many of these rules. LOL! (can I use that?) Good reminders and all kidding aside, I personally would rather have a real post, complete with some errors, than a stiff "cut-and-paste" sytle which doesn't allow the writer's voice to show through. Just my two cents.

Is that a fragment?

Can I start a sentence with is?

UGH.........see what you started?

:-)

4:25pm • #11

Colleen, a little humor every now & then doesn't hurt anything :)

4:28pm • #12
102,216 Points 1 Featured Post Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

Dan, my high school English teacher would be very proud of you. Way to go!!!

4:36pm • #13

That was pretty funny! I wonder how many rules I have broken? Thank you for sharing that with all of us. I hope you have a great day and a Happy New Year!

4:53pm • #14

Go Blog Police! It's nice to know someone cares.... Keep up the good work!

5:00pm • #15
Outside Blog Hit Router

If I were capable to write like that, it would be amazing!

But, I will print this post, keep it close by to try to do better.

Richard 

5:04pm • #16

Funy.

ROFL, LOL, laughing, hope I'm not to no un repetitive there.

Grammar isn't that what you put chocolate and marshmallows on to make Smores?

 

5:34pm • #17
268,418 Points 19 Featured Posts Outside Blog

That was too, two, to funny.  Thanks for the laughs, I is very greateful, also too as well.

7:35pm • #18
5 Featured Posts

Funny. Seriously. Thanks for the tips on what not to do when posting to you're blog; its a grate guide to write by. And I'll use utilize it all the time!!!!??>>!!

8:06pm • #19
224,760 Points 2 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

I forgot all of those rules many years ago.  But I promise to do better.

8:09pm • #20
DEC
31

Thanks everyone for all the comments. I'm glad to see everyone thinks it is as funny as I did!!

12:09pm • #21

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Dan Magstadt

Lake City, FL

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Meridian Financial

Address: Lake City, FL, 32055

Office Phone: (386) 754-8500

Cell Phone: (386) 365-7161

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Mortgage blog written by Dan Magstadt to help give some insight into the mortgage market as well as let everyone know what's going on at Meridian Financial & my personal life!
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