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Blogs: Myths, Lessons, and Reflections ~ And I still don't like you

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with CELLing Realty CalBRE #01445865

 

 

 

I have just spent the first couple hours of 09 reflecting on the good from last year and all the idiosyncrasies that occurred from my Active Rain Blogging.  After over a year and a half I learned some things yesterday that made me think.  And think I did...Who Follows us, and why?  Why do they choose your Blog to read, especially if you don't have one of those glaring Subscribe to me buttons, and they have to actually make some effort to do so :)

Computer

 

 

 

This Post might just have a little bit of this and a little bit of that to it.  Sort of like my friend Jason Sardi, where he knows what he's saying and some of us just shake our heads and say he said what.... LOL :)  Anyway, I have some random things that I was thinking about a Blog.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Who are Your Subscribers-Once or twice I have gone to the page that showed who they were.  At first when they made this available, I wasn't sure I wanted to know.  I saw people on there that I didn't really know, and wondered what they saw that made them want to come back.  But most importantly I wanted to make sure I didn't change my writing to fit one person or another.  I did feel somewhat guilty that I didn't visit all the blogs of the people on this list.  And I saw many people that are no longer on Active Rain...so much for those subscriber numbers :)

 

  • Why do people Unsubscribe-I learned that someone had been "following me" but one of my now several "Pot stirring" Posts ticked them off, so they unsubscribed.  This person (I don't put names for this type of stuff) told me they were so angry that they read a little longer after that Post, but they just couldn't get past the anger my Post created.  Anyway...after a year I found this out, and what a revelation it was.  See, I never even knew they were subscribed, so I sure didn't know they had unsubscribed :)  That was before AR made the list available. 

         Would I have done anything different, probably not, that's not me.  Do I ask people why they     unsubscribe?  No, that's not me.  I figure we all grow and change and when we started AR we subscribed to whoever gave us attention at the time :)  But do we even like them anymore?

 

  • Is it OK that I don't really like you -  I have read several people that a particular Post was good, or even great.  But the more I read I realized I don't like that person for one reason or another.  It might be a comment they made on someone else's Post, or how they treated someone else.  It could just be that their Philosophy doesn't match mine....but whatever it is I know I don't like everyone here on Active Rain.  Is this OK to say?  I would never say it Publicly...to say I do not like that Agent in City A, or Town B because they are a real jerk, or they lie too much, or they don't have an original idea in their bones.....everything is regurgitated from others :)  Whatever it is I figure if I don't like someone that's OK.....just be as respectful as possible, and never burn a bridge unless you absolutely have to.  Heck no one likes everyone, but we do have to work together, and blog together :)

 

  • Why shouldn't we write whatever we want-How do our words effect other people?  Do you really know everyone that reads, and what issues they may or may not be having?  Let's say that you write that you are having a great year, but someone that knows you personally knows this is an exaggeration.....what does that do to your reputation?  What if your Broker has totally different views than you and you insist it's your right to say whatever you want.....is it worth the hard feelings that might arise.  What about clients...why would you want to alienate people just to prove your right to say something?  Is it really worth it?  Freedom comes with responsibility, and we have a responsibility as a community member to have as harmonious a community as is possible.  That means keep your prejudices to yourself, and your biased views as well.  Yes, it's your right to say what you feel, but think about the goal...does it benefit anyone besides YOU?  Remember that case with the mother and what she said that drove the teenage girl to Suicide....words can and do hurt other people, so think  before you post.

 

And then I have this question:  Is everyone doing as well as they say they are :)  If you're not doing so well you are not alone.......it has been tough for so many, the experienced, the new, the vendors, everyone.  Being Positive doesn't mean we are doing great.  But then again we don't try to fool others either :)  Part of the Lessons learned with blogging...not everyone is as they appear :) 

 

Hopefully everyone of us is truthful in our Blogs and comments, and don't leave people worse off for getting to know us. I have met some wonderful people on Active Rain, and also some real jerks.  I can honestly say there are people on here I don't like....but it isn't my place to change them.  For me, I just want to be a good community member....and share what I can, that is what I do with my Blog, and look for on yours.

 

 

 

 

By: Kathy McGraw- CELLing Realty in Riverside County ,CA  Real Estate in Cabazon & Whitewater

Mara Hawks
First Realty Auburn - Auburn, AL
Inactive-2012 REALTOR - Homes for Sale Auburn Real Estate, AL

I can't subscribe to everyone in the world...can I? I love your attitude---really though, it's your authentic voice...with a big heart of compassion. You can say things and get respect that, if I said them, folks would UNSUBSCRIBE...because it's not me. We really just need to be ourselves---and have a thoughtful, caring heart---and know there is room for everyone's views...SPACE is endless...Barbara Streisand sang it best: on a clear day, we really can see UNDERSTAND forever...Happy New Year Kathy! You are a stAR!! I love your posts (except I still wanna puke when I remember the pic of the sausage in the wooden bread trough, BARF!)

Jan 01, 2009 12:21 PM
Linda Bourgault
lulugraphix-creative photography & fine art - Flower Mound, TX

Kathy—I find your blogs to be refreshing, inspiring and I agree with you most of the time, but not always. I respect you for your honesty, compassion and talent (writing and photography). The world in and out of AR would be a very boring place with everyone being in agreement all the time. This blog is one I agree with wholeheartedly... you don't have to like me, but it's cool if you can tolerate me! Well done.

Jan 01, 2009 12:39 PM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Kathy, Happy New Year!  This is a terrific post and made me think too.  I of course know who I'm subscribed to (206 people and I can't keep up hard as I try :( but I honestly never check to see who's subscribed to me.....I guess I should.  I see when the numbers go up and down and sometimes wonder why they left---

I think as long as I have been on this site, I've yet to REALLY figure it out :)  There are people that don't like me and that's fine but I am always polite in comments.  I still believe "if you don't have anything nice to say....."  And I try to see people that have come to a post of mine and return the comment.

I always wish there were more hours in the day.  Blessings my friend and Happy New Year!!

Jan 01, 2009 01:03 PM
Ann Allen Hoover
RE/MAX Advantage South - Hoover, AL
CDPE SRES ASP e-PRO Realtor - Homes for Sale - AL

Kathy, you think much like I do!  This is a post that I would have written if I were that good at expressing myself.

Best wishes for a great year!

Jan 01, 2009 01:09 PM
Debe Maxwell, CRS
Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The RIGHT CHARLOTTE REALTOR!

Hi Kathy!  I think you ROCK!  I think that we subscribe to those who we are connecting with at the time and there are some that fall out of the Rain and others who wind up writing in a different style that we previously enjoyed.  The only time that I unsubscribe is when members are no longer active and I think they're probably no longer in the business so, I wouldn't refer a client to them should I have one in their area. 

I don't typically get 'nasty' comments but, when I do, they're not logged in (cowards!)--some accuse me of being too positive for the market and wonder why I'm writing positive things when there's nothing positive going on!  Well, I did have the best year ever in '08--as a matter of fact, I doubled my '07 income in 2008--how?  I don't know but, I do know I worked my butt off to get it done!!  But, I also really do believe that if positive things are happening, I want to encourage others to be positive too.  So, those who unsubscribe to me, oh well, I'm not going to cry over it, that's for sure!  I'd rather surround myself with positive people anyway!

And no, you don't have to like everyone!  There are too many that I do that I can't get around to!

Happy New Year, Kathy--keep writing the way you do--for those of us who LOVE your posts!

Debe in Charlotte 

Jan 01, 2009 01:13 PM
Marian Gregor-Ann
Keller Williams - Ann Arbor, MI
Arbor area Real Estate

Hi Kathy, It seems that you have struck a cord with readers. I know, because you have certainly struck a chord with me. My feelings have been expressed by many of the previous comments.  That said... I think that you are a terrific person with a deep understanding of mankind. I find that I often agree with your posts. Naysayers? Don't take it to heart as there are all kinds of people. It can be hard when someone tries to push their beliefs onto you. I try hard to understand where someone is coming from, 'tho I am not always successful.  I say live and let live. Be well.

Jan 01, 2009 02:24 PM
Nannette Turner
eXp Realty LLC - Lynchburg, VA
Online Marketing Home Ownership Advocate Specialis

Kathy I have no idea who is subscribed to me. I hope they don't read this and find out I don't know about them.  Okay I will go find out after this comment though,  I wonder if my followers are people I like?  That would suck.  Having people I don't like following me, sounds creepy.  I usually unsubscribe because the member becomes inactive.  But, I really don't care if someone likes me or does not like me.  I have quite a few people that do, I know they do & it is mutual so I consintrate on them.  For God's sake life is hard enough as it is I don't bother trying to figure out how to make people like me.  I am just me, if you like wonderful I hope I can like you back, if not I don't waste any time thinking about it. 

Jan 01, 2009 08:36 PM
Maria Morton
Platinum Realty - Kansas City, MO
Kansas City Real Estate 816-560-3758

Kathy, I'm just happy when someone reads and/or comments on what I put in here. I subscribe when someone makes me laugh, shares a picture I like, or says something that speaks to me. If the next post they write doesn't do anything for me, I just don't read it all. Does anyone on AR like me? No idea. People not being honest on AR? Never considered that. Food for thought maybe. Joy and prosperity in the new year!

Jan 01, 2009 08:58 PM
Bill Gassett
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Hopkinton, MA
Metrowest Massachusetts Real Estate

Interesting observations Kathy. I bet some of the best writers are not necessarily great sales people. Points, subscriptions, gold stars, Big blog buttons...none of that is that important to me. I am hear to get business and make a few friends along the way:)

Jan 01, 2009 10:40 PM
Bruce & Mary Smith
Savannah Lakes Homes - McCormick, SC
REALTORS, Savannah Lakes Village McCormick SC

Kathy-

I read a question yesterday about when someone ceases to be a Newbie.  I thought about it and decided that I will always be a Newbie in some area of thought.  That's me!  I found your comments interesting.  Most importantly, (someone else said this and I agree), the world would not be very interesting if everyone agreed.  Knowledge would be stagnant.  Thanks for your post!

Jan 02, 2009 12:32 AM
Todd Clark - Retired
eXp Realty LLC - Tigard, OR
Principle Broker Oregon

Well, I have to personally say I love you for your honesty and that is why I subscribe. Now, do I like all your posts? NO, of course not, but, you are human, I disagree with my wife and even my friends some times, but not enough to get rid of them over one opinion.

Stay true to yourself and I will continue to subscribe to you...PROMISE!

Todd Clark, Helping Families Home - www.IFoundYourNewHome.com

Jan 02, 2009 01:53 AM
Jason Sardi
Auto & Home & Life Insurance throughout North Carolina - Charlotte, NC
Your Agent for Life

Kathy - You've got to be one of the more blunt folks around here and I personally love that:)  You don't like some folks?  I wouldn't have had the slightest clue:)  Heck, I'm well aware of why folks would unsubscribe to me... I ain't for everyone.  And I totally disagree with Todd Clark 100% of the time!

Jan 02, 2009 03:11 AM
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Hi George- Yes, I can see how you would know by reading that some people have embellished their blog for some reason.  I don't knopw why they do it, as it really doesn't impress anyone. But like you I just shake my head :)  Also you have been on here so long that you are one of the Wise Souls LOL :)

C-Tann- I would love to see your list so if you ever publish it let me know LOL :)  It's unrealistic to think we are so wonderful that everyone will like us, and if we change who we are just to get subscribers.....then what's the value?  What are the subscribers getting if not a fake bill of goods?

Linda S.- I am glad I am still here, but even more glad that you are :) Enough said :)

Kat- It's nice to see other people's thought process when unsubscribing....I appreciate your detailed comment on this, and know that others will get something from it as well.  Curious why some people think because we are in Real Estate that we have to act like we like everyone LOL :)  Oh, and those Gold Stars can be a real pain......that means you have to come back here many many times, and what if you don't have the time :)

Ann in chilly Wildwood Missouri.......I like you too :)  Thanks for the laugh, and have a great New Year. 

Cindy- Those naysayers sure can put a damper on things :)  Best of luck with avoiding them, and even more luck with keeping your own positive attitude.  It can be hard, but my 2009 goal is to find 1 thing everyday that is a good thing.  MY own Pollyanna Game LOL......

Ann- Thank you for another well written comment.  I do wonder why we think we have to be liked by everyone, or that we need to like them in order to do our jobs. 

As for the Subscriber's good for you.....I did look twice I think.  Once I tried to reciprocate back to everyone there but it was hard.  So many of you actually write Real Estate Posts....go figure finding a Market Report on a Real Estate Network LOL :) 

Your comment on Posts living on even after they are taken down was proved last night...I found a Post I had been looking for that had been taken off AR, but it's still on the Internet :)

Jan 02, 2009 04:11 AM
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Thesa- thanks for the insight....many do have limited time, and we subscribe for a variety of reasons.  I too have some that I subscribe to because they have a particular Real Estate skill, or area of expertise that I want to know more about.  Maybe someone else meets my emotional needs, and someone else meets my creative needs......But it is a very rare that all these needs surface on the same day....so sometimes I just search out what I seem to want, or need, for that day.  Sometimes I spend a lot of time just going to others and supporting them, not needing anything myself :)  That's how I do my list .........

Sally- now how did you and Thesa both start rambling....(your words not mine LOL :)  You made an excellent point; most times we take people at their word, and that what they write is honest.  Honest doesn't have to be a 100% naked truth "here I am world" style. But then again if you are writing a Market Report of course use good grammar, have your facts straight, and try to let people know about you in your area.

Here's the flip side.....many people do not write that stuff.  They pay a service, or worse sometimes just steal the info and Post it as theirs.  Not all consumers know the difference, and neither do we at first.  But a couple people I know of have wonderful, beautiful consumer stuff, but they appear to be a different person on comments, or personal type blogs.  The writing isn't even the same. My opinion is Blogging isn't taking your Franchise or Paid Subscription Real Estate Nesletter and copy and pasing the info ........

Mara- I have a big smile as I write this...thinking of you wanting to puke over that sausage picture LOL :)  Anyway, I do try to communicate with everyone with respect, and mostly I can get my point across diplomatically without acting a fool :)

Linda-Thanks for the compliments and what you said, "you don't have to like me, but it's cool if you can tolerate me"  I love that :)  People sure don't need to be like each other....that wood indeed make the world a boring place, but basic respect is always a good thing.

Carole- 24 hours, that's all we get so we do have to manage it.  Family, friends, work, social media, sleep, everything.  ROI.....now how does a blog give us a ROI for our time to read it?  For me the answer is in what I said to Thesa (above) some need or want fulfilled is my ROI.  Same as with the comments we leave the ROI is my fulfillment of giving back to the community.  Give and Take that's a nice balance :)

Ann- thank you....and best of everything to you in this New Year as well.....

Debe- One thing is for sure is that anyone that did well last year should be proud.  It was a rough year for many, but not all. A Positive Attitude has a lot to do with how we handled everything including work and personal challenges.  I so agree with you....and I hope this year brings you another good year :)

Marian- It seems that many do see something in common with the various comments made here, so you are in good company :)  Understanding and Compassion go along way when communicating ......

Nannette- You're so independent sometimes LOL :)  Well, I like you and your common sense, and that's all I care about LOL :)  OK, not totally true...I like your photos and compassion, as well as your willingness to share :)

Maria- I just clicked over to your Profile since you sounded "new".  I liked your photos, and the captions....as I scrolled through several Posts to try to "get a feel" of who you are :)  I also looked at your Groups, which tells me you are only in 1 that I am....have you tried the Positive Attitude for the Weary Soul, or Fairies and Pink Elephants?  You will get more people to see you by doing exactly what you just did....:)

 

Jan 02, 2009 06:04 AM
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Bill- Well put......you "come here to get business and make some friends along the way".  Sounds like a mature comment to me :) 

Bruce & Mary- I clicked to your profile, and yea at 10,000 pts. people are still pretty new.  You are a member of a lot of Groups...and hopefully you find things in all of them to meet your needs.  I know for me I had about that many unti I found my self gravitating to just a handful...so downsized :)  But in the beginning it's wonderful to have so many resources, great people, compliments, feedback, smiles, and tears.....we get them all........

Oh Todd that's a lot of pressure just to keep your Subscription LOL :)  The day I stop being true to myself is the day I need to get off the Internet.

Hi Jason- Once again you bring a smile to my day.....Did you see how I copied your "ramblings" :)  You think I'm  blunt, now what would ever give you that impression? I've worked hard at learning to be  more diplomatic and less "blunt", but it appears I still need some work....  LOL :)  Happy New Year my friend....I hope all your dreams come true, and that the business part picks up as well.  Sooner than later would be a good thing :)

Jan 02, 2009 06:20 AM
Brenda Harmon
Century 21 Beal, Inc College Station, Texas - College Station, TX

Kathy,

I agree.  I don't think Activerain always has to be about real estate and I don't like people to rant that it does.  If you don't like it don't read it.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Jan 02, 2009 02:12 PM
Elizabeth Nieves
The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group - Durham, NC
Bilingual Raleigh - Durham North Carolina Real Estate Team

Hi Darling!

You know I've been away for the past week...sick. I'm trying to catch up on everyone tonight. I've missed you.

I had to laugh as I was reading your post. NOT because it was funny...but because it is so true. I know one blogger who really gets torn out of the frame when he loses a subscriber. He goes on a mission to find out why they unsubscribed and tries to get them back. WHY? If they don't like me...I'm NOT going to change for them. There's a word for that...huh? 

I'm with you. Here are my guidelines: Be polite. Be respectful. Be genuine. 

Happy New Year, my friend!!! May 2009 be THE YEAR that ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!! ~GBU~

Jan 02, 2009 04:57 PM
Cynthia Tilghman, Realtor® Onslow County NC Home Specialist
Kingsbridge Realty, Inc - Hubert, NC

Hi Kathy,
I've been soooo out of touch the past several weeks--one of these days maybe I'll post about some of the things that have been going on in my life. 

The AR community is just like every office, club, school or whatever--there are always some people you will click with and others you will not and heck, even dislike.  How does that saying go?  "You can please some of the people all the time and all of the people some time but you cannot please all of the people all the time". 

 

Jan 02, 2009 10:06 PM
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Brenda- Active Rain is a Real Estate Network....and many people are adamant about posting good content for the consumer.  There are a bunch of Groups (way way too many IMO) here for the "other stuff"... There is a place for most things, but being rude to others or breaking the guidelines has no place :)

Elizabeth- Ahhh so you're the one that got me sick LOL :)  I laughed at your story of the person who is all into the Subscribed List.... it is rather pathetic to place that much emphasis on someone unsubscribing.  You said it perfectly, why.  I remember reading that some people are actually using the subscribed numbers in their Marketing to show how important they are  "look at me...I have xyz number following me" .....oh my!  Can this really be so...yes it can.  It takes all types, and we do have all types on here.  I usually just avoid the ones I don't like....it helps ME keep my opinions to myself LOL :)

Glad you're feeling better, and hope you also have a great New Year...whatever great might be for you :)

Cynthia-Happy New Year my friend, it's good to see you...hope whatever was going on is more stable now and that you can get back to your own normal.  Albeit AR is like any other real life community, and boy am I glad I am not the parent here !!!  And of course that saying fits perfectly......you can't please all of the peole all of the time, and that's when respect comes in :)

 

Jan 03, 2009 12:51 AM
Audrey June-Forshey
RE/MAX Realty Services - Darnestown, MD
GRI, Gaithersburg, MD

Hi Kathy, I am trying to make my way back here to AR.  Thank goodness for Twitter so I can keep up with you.  So, does this mean I have to like who I follow on Twitter?  LOL!!  You are as true as they come.  That is what people love about you.  No BS with you, and I think that is what people are looking for, direct and honest the best qualities for all folks.  Even though you don't mince words you have a heart of gold.  You are the best, if it was not for you I would probably still be lurking in the comment section of AR.  Probably worse than that, I wouldnt know you and all the wonderful people I have met here on AR.  You are the best, just the way you are.  PS, you don't have to like anyone, if you do subscribe to them and like them - it is just icing on the cake :)

Jan 06, 2009 11:59 AM